Sunday, October 9, 2016

NFL Week 5: You Think You Know

Those of you who are about my age remember that wonderful time in the NFL when Jim Mora was the coach of the New Orleans Saints and the Indianapolis Colts.  Mora was a decent coach with .541 winning percentage, but much like Herman Edwards, Mora is mostly remembered for the soundbites that he provided after a Saints or a Colts lost. This is one of my particular favorites.

Last week was one of my worse weeks ever when it comes to making predictions. The only teams that seem to have their game plans in order are Denver (The last unbeaten team in the AFC), Minnesota, and Philly. Denver won the Super Bowl (Peyton had very little to do with that), so it is expected of them, but Minnesota and Philadelphia? WHAT?!

New England is no longer undefeated after that nightmarish game against...Buffalo? What the what, New England. The Colts lost in England to...wait for it...the Jaguars. Yes, those Jaguars and not the fancy car. The Falcons embarrassed the Panthers while Oakland and the Saints slipped past San Diego and Baltimore. The biggest embarrassment came later that evening on national television when the Pittsburgh Steelers took my Kansas City Chiefs to the woodshed. I have never been so glad that Fear the Walking Dead was on at the same time. There was less carnage on that show than at the game...RIP Chris Manawa, not that I'm really going to miss your annoying character...

Thank goodness, the Chiefs have had the week off so maybe they can figure out that it was not just the rain that led to that 43-14 debacle. think people picked them as  a playoff team, and Tony G actually picked them to win this game. I mean, so did I, but man...stop embarrassing us on national tv. We all have to go back to work and defend that on Monday to laughing co-workers, especially Steelers fans.

My fantasy teams both lost last week and will probably lose this week because Lucille Swings is batting without Cam Newton (although Andy Dalton is a decent replacement) and no kicker, because I've dropped all the people I am willing to drop during the bye week, and I'm not taking a chance that someone will grab Cairo Santos before I can get him back. Lockte and Loaded is a nightmare, and I will soon refer to them as the team who shall not be named. Fantasy players the byes for this week are Kansas City, Jacksonville, Seattle, and New Orleans.

Last week, my picks were a garbage dump with a 5-10 finish. My record for the season is now at 34-29. I hope I will do far, far better this week. Who knows...

Sunday, October 9, 2016
San Diego Chargers vs. Oakland Raiders: Oakland
New England Patriots vs. Cleveland Browns:  New England
Philadelphia Eagles vs. Detroit Lions:  Philadelphia
Chicago Bears vs. Indianapolis Colts:  Indianapolis
Tennessee Titans vs. Miami Dolphins:  Tennessee
Houston Texans vs. Minnesota Vikings:  Minnesota
New York Jets vs. Pittsburgh Steelers:  Pittsburgh
Washington Redskins vs. Baltimore Ravens:  Washington
Atlanta Falcons vs. Denver Broncos:  Denver
Cincinnati Bengals vs. Dallas Cowboys:  Dallas
Buffalo Bills vs. Los Angeles Rams:  Los Angeles
New York Giants vs. Green Bay Packers:  Green Bay

Monday, October 10, 2016
Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. Carolina Panthers:  Tampa Bay

Thursday, October 13, 2016
Denver Broncos vs. San Diego Chargers:  Denver

Until next week, “All I could have said was I don’t know, a sentence that was becoming a kind of witness to our own ignorance or incompetence. Or both.” 
― Jeff VanderMeer

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