NFL Week 12: Thanksgiving Day Picks

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Here's hoping your day is filled with the blessings of family, friends, and lots and lots of turkey!!! Oh, no I did not forget, FOOTBALL!!! It is one of the many things I'm looking forward to today. You know besides the turkey, ham, pie, cake, yams, pie, peas, dressing, potatoes, gravy, pie, and did I mention pie? It also helps me to avoid those pesky why aren't you married with children questions, because I really hope I can make it through Thanksgiving without having to have a clapback.

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. I start the day refusing any type of food until dinner is served. It's a matter of control, so I can rest my self-control later. See, there is a method to my madness, but onto the matter at hand.

The NFL has seen fit to give us another three game special, so we have to spend as little time as possible discussing religion, politics, and gossip--three courses always served at the table. Don't forget that you have to set your fantasy team today before the games begin if you have any players on today's teams.

So, on with the picks:
Thursday, November 26, 2015
Philadelphia Eagles at Detroit Lions: Detroit-I have absolutely no faith in Philadelphia at this point.

Carolina Panthers at Dallas Cowboys: Carolina-Romo's back, and the Boys always perform well at home on Thanksgiving, but Cam and the Panthers are going to be a tough out. Besides, y'all know I hate the Cowboys. I want Cam to beat them.

Chicago Bears at Green Bay Packers: Green Bay-They are retiring lord Favre's jersey tonight at halftime, and the Bears are, well, the Bears. I expect a tough game with the Pack and Rodgers coming out on top.

Good luck to your teams, and may you and your family have a wonderful Thanksgiving! Until next time, "Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare.  They are consumed in twelve minutes.  Half-times take twelve minutes.  This is not coincidence."~Erma Bombeck

"Is This The End?"-Picks from a Maniac Maenad Week 17-The Ralph Tresvant Edition

Happy New Year, everybody! I'm so glad to be back! Between moving, semester exams, mangled internet service, I just glad that Diana Dishes is back in service! Out with the old and in with the new, we know there may be more pink slips given out on Monday. I'm curious to see who will join Wade Phillips, Mike Singletary, Brad Childress, Josh McDaniels, and John Fox at the print shop copying resumes. FYI: Please stop the rumors about Josh "Lil' Hoodie" McDaniels coming to Kansas City.

Let's see...Brett Farve didn't pass his concussion test, was fined $50,000 for the Jenn Sterger incident, and ended the week by breaking out 90s dances to "Ice, Ice Baby" for his teammates. Yeah, I still don't like Lo. Charlie Weis is going to bail on the Chiefs after one year to take the OC job at the University of Florida. Just when I started likeing Charlie...oh, well...that's off the table. Antonio Gates ended up on IR. The Chiefs won the AFC West title and placed 3 players in the Pro Bowl. The Patriots and Falcons have the most players sending 6 and 7 respectively. Tony Gonzalez is on his way to #11.

Shawne Merriman signed a 2 year deal with the Buffalo Bills. He will take a physical later this week. I really, REALLY hope this works out for Shawne. I really, REALLY want to see him on the field. Not because he's cute (that's only part), but I really love the intensity that he brought to the field. I hope he can regain some of the manic play of his first 3 years. Good luck, Shawne. Oh, btw...leave the dance in San Diego...

I'm really shaking my head that it is possible for a 7-9 team will win a division-Seattle/St. Louis. What is really sad is the fact that this is the nationally televised game for Sunday Night Football who is advertising it like it's the Super Bowl. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say the only people watching this game are Seattle/St. Louis fans. I love football, but I just can't stomach that. I might flip to see the score, but watch? I don't think so. There has got to be a re-run somewhere that's more entertaining.

For the Chiefs today, it's all about Pride!!! As they induct Marty Schottenheimer into the Chiefs Hall of Fame, the Chiefs are going for 8-0 at home this year against their dreaded rivals The Oakland Raiders. They lost to the Raiders earlier this year. I'm going to need the boys to rectify this, and I need Jamaal Charles to take the rushing title. Make it happen Chiefs, make it happen.

As for fantasy football, I was thisclose to playing for the Championship in one of my leagues, until Adrian Peterson's knee knocked me back to 4th. Injuries, inconsistency, injuries, bad luck, and injuries doomed my teams this year. So, here is the final carnage...

• The Kansas City Chiefs finished with a 6-7 record and 14th out of 20 teams. Team MVP was Drew Brees with 325.36 fantasy points.
• The Cromartie Eight finished with a 7-6 record and 7th out of 12 teams. Team MVP was Philip Rivers with 260 fantasy points.
• Hecate's HellHounds finished with a 10-4 record and 4th out of 12 teams. Team MVP was Philip Rivers with 270.98 fantasy points.
• The Runtelldat Homeboys finished with a 3-10 record and 10th out of 12 teams. Team MVP was Joe Flacco with 218 fantasy points.
• Matching Mugshots finished with a 3-10 record and 8th out of 10 teams. Team MVP was Philip Rivers with 327 fantasy points.

Good news...None of my teams finished last!!! Bad news...three had losing records. Memo to self...no more than 3 teams next year.

Time for the picks:

Dolphins vs. Patriots-Patriots

Buccaneers vs. Saints-Saints

Bills vs. Jets-Jets

Bengals vs. Ravens-Ravens

Panthers vs. Falcons-Falcons

Steelers vs. Browns-Steelers

Vikings vs. Lions-Vikings

Raiders vs. Chiefs-Chiefs, Chiefs, Chiefs, Chiefs, Chiefs!!!

Cowboys vs. Eagles-Eagles

Cardinals vs. 49ers-Cardinals

Giants vs. Redskins-Giants

Jaguars vs. Texans-Texans

Chargers vs. Broncos-Chargers

Bears vs. Packers-Packers

Titans vs. Colts-Colts

Rams vs. Seahawks-Who Cares...okay...Rams

Okay, guys that's it...Until next week, "If you aren't fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm."-Vince Lombardi

Happy Thanksgiving!!!-Here's the Turkey!!

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!!! Ah, Thanksgiving...the day we sit down with our families, show our thanks for the years blessings, eat until our pants pop, while watching NFL games. Yes...that is my idea of a good day.

Of course, the star of the Thanksgiving meal is...The turkey...We may have turkey at other times of the year, but there is something extra special about that Thanksgiving bird...But, there is that other kind of turkey. You remember that turkey...LaMont and Rollo used to always comment on that particular turkey. This year, there have been a number of Turkeys in the NFL, here are my 10 turkeys in no particular order...

Randy Moss-This guy has played for three...count 'em Three different teams this year. It seems everywhere he goes chaos falls, even if it's not his fault. He's like Eugene from Hey Arnold!, a jinx. Plus he dissed the craft services guy...don't insult people who make your food, Randy...

Wade Phillips-The portly former Cowboys coach who was marching America's team to oblivion. (heh-heh-heh). Well, instead of marching the sidelines this Thanksgiving, Wade will be able to watch his replacement Jason Garrett, as Wade drowns his sorrows in gravy.

Brad Childress-I will admit, I've never been fond of Brad, mostly because of his creeper style voice. He quickly lost control of his team. Traveling to Mississippi to wrangle Brett Favre again, then making snide comments about Brett, trading for then releasing Randy Moss in the span of 3 weeks, and losing his team before finally losing his job.

Vince Young-Professed that he had grown up and that he was going to be responsible now. Well, that all ended Sunday. First, he screwed up his hand, then he tossed his jersey and pads into the stands, and he capped it off by storming out of the lockerroom without speaking to his coach. He's sorry now as he has been put on IR and locked out of the facility...

Terrell Owens-This guy has never met a microphone he didn't love. He has insulted Donovan McNabb, Derrelle Revis, and Ben Roethlisberger in the span on two weeks. In addition to a reality show, he and teammate/BFF/fellow Narcissus Chad Ochocinco have the T.Ocho Show, which I'm thankful for not being to see. Meanwhile, he may be having a good year, but the only way the Bengals are going to the Super Bowl is if they buy tickets.

Mike Shanahan-I wanted to put Ben Roethlisberger, because I just don't like him...no other reason. (Thank you, Richard Seymour...it was a cheap shot, but I'm looking the other way...this time.) Mike Shanahan, however, has helped to make the Redskins even more ridiculous. From the Haynesworth debacle to benching Donovan McNabb (then giving him an extension) to the mustard colored unis, and let's not forget that ridiculous tan.

The Carolina Panthers-Y'all, remember they were in the Super Bowl just 7 years ago. NFC South Champs just two years ago...They suffer from injuries to their running backs, can't keep a quarterback, and poor Steve Smith...

The Cincinnati Bengals-Went from last year's cardiac cats to the Bungles of old. Carson is falling apart, Marvin is falling apart, T. O. is T. O., and Chad OchoCinco is on some other planet. This team is going no where fast.

Mike Singletary-Last year, we gave you the benefit of the doubt. Many of us, including me, figured the 49ers were poised to take the NFC West. Boy were we wrong. The 49ers are now tied for last with Arizona and behind St. Louis. BEHIND ST. LOUIS...if I were you dude, I'd be firing up that resume right about now.

Brett Favre-Where do we start with Lord Lorenzo. First, he had to be brought to Minnesota in spetacular fashion after having a slumber party with three of his teammates who flew down to "beg" him to come back. Then, there was the sexting fiasco with Jenn Sterger, and the possible flashing via cell phone. He has had numerous injuries which have affected his effectiveness this year. Now, he has assisted in costing yet another coach his job (see Eric Mangini who also has the dubious honor of having a kid named after Brett). Plus, he has spent the last few weeks "leaning toward retirement." Yes, Brett, you are my Turkey of the year.

Well, there is the turkey, now here is the gravy...My picks for the day...

New England @ Detroit: New England...I wish I could chose the Lions, but alas, no...

New Orleans @ Dallas: New Orleans...

Cincinnati @ New York Jets: New York Jets

Until next time, "God bless us all, and make us able, To eat all the food that's on this table!" Y'all have a great Thanksgiving!!!

"What in the Wide, Wide World of Sports is a Going on Here?"-Picks from a Maniac Maenad Week 9

It's week 9 in the NFL, and if we thought things were wacky last week, this week, this week right here, was pure insanity. Brett Favre lost a few gray hairs in his chinny-chin-chin and replaced them with 8 stitches after a hit by Patriots defensive tackle Myron Pryor, who was fined $7,500 dollars for that love tap. Favre took a bigger hit when it was learned that the Vikings were gonna cut ties with Randy Moss after just 4 weeks. First, Moss allegedly went all types of crazy bashing a local mom and pop restaurant for having the audacity to give him a free lunch. Second, he allegedly tells ownership that they should fire coach Brad Childress (I agree, but yeah, I wouldn't have gone there as a player.) Third, he allegedly gave up on the play that later cost Brett Favre part of his chin. Then, he went all "I love the New England Patriots" after telling reporters that he would only answer his own questions from now own. He was subsequently released. Hey Randy, if I were you, I would eat at any restaurants anytime soon. Food servers don't forget. I'm always nice to people that handle my food. You guys rock! Randy was later picked up by the Tennessee Titans. Good luck with that Jeff Fisher.

Randy Moss wasn't the only star to find himself on waivers this week. He was joined by former San Diego Chargers Linebacker Shawne Merriman who had to be released by the San Diego Chargers when he was deemed healthy enough to come off of the minor injury designated IR. He waves goodbye to sunny San Diego for the crispy, cold winds of Buffalo who claimed him off waivers ahead of Miami and Tampa Bay. Shawne, the Bills may be 0-7, but they have some hella good wings in Buffalo! Good luck!!!

Then, there was the scandal that was the benching of Donovan McNabb. I love, Donovan, and I know that his may or may not be a future Hall of Famer, but to be pulled for Rex "I throw to the other team" Grossman, that is...just...crazy as hell. What in blue blazes, come on Shanahan, is that tan leaking into your brain? You say it was because Donovan was "out of shape," but you toss salt in the wound by working out JaMarcus "I've never met a meal I didn't love" Russell. Have you SEEN JaMarcus Russell?

Two of the biggest games of the week feature teams that no one, and I mean, NO ONE would have seen at the top of their divisions. The resurgent Tampa Bay Buccaneers (5-2) are traveling to Atlanta take on division rivals the Falcons (5-2). Many, including me, picked the Falcons to be at the top, but to be tied with Tampa Bay? I don't think many saw that one coming. Then, the Kansas City Chiefs (5-2) are traveling to the Black Hole to take on the Oakland Raiders (4-4). Even I didn't see my Chiefs on top of the AFC West, nor did I see Oakland right behind them. Exactly what is going on in San Diego and Denver (what's going wrong lil hoodie?)?

This just in: Anthony Gonzalez of the Indianapolis Colts has been put on IR. In other news, water is wet, and the sky is blue.

Last week, I went 4-1 with my fantasy teams. I was so happy...I almost cried...almost...

• Hecates's HellHounds of the League of Champions league: 6-2 (Two wins in a row)
  
• Kansas City Chiefs of the Dynasty Orginization League: 3-5 (finally picked up another win)
  
• Runtelldat Homeboys of the Big Easy League: 2-6 (The fat lady is warming up.)
  
• The Cromartie Eight of the Football Fist Pump League: 3-5 (They fall down go boom.)
  
• Matching Mugshots of the Atypical Sports Show League: 2-6 (Shockingly, they won.)

I went 8-5 last week which brings my record to 57-44. So, here are my week eight picks:

Chicago Bears @ Buffalo Bills: Chicago

San Diego Chargers @ Houston Texans: San Diego

New Orleans Saints @ Carolina Panthers: New Orleans

Arizona Cardinals @ Minnesota Vikings: Arizona

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Atlanta Falcons: Atlanta

New York Jets @ Detroit Lions: New York Jets

Miami Dolphins @ Baltimore Ravens: Baltimore

New England Patriots @ Cleveland Browns: New England

New York Giants @ Seattle Seahawks: New York Giants

Kansas City Chiefs @ Oakland Raiders: Kansas City

Indianapolis Colts @ Philadelphia Eagles: Indianapolis

Dallas Cowboys @ Green Bay Packers: Green Bay

Monday Night Football: Pittsburgh Steelers @ Cincinnati Bengals: Pittsburgh

Until next week, "What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?"~Ursula K. Le Guin

Picks from a Maniac Maenad-Week 6

It's week six, y'all, and what a week it's been. Controversy abounds. Parity is running rampant. My Chiefs are no longer unbeaten. Five weeks into the seasons, and most of us are looking at are pre-season predictions and wondering how did we get it so wrong. The Cowboys and Chargers are floundering in the basements of their divisions. I mean, even as a Chiefs fan, I never imagined they would be on top of the AFC West this late in the season (no, I don't have delusions that they will win the West, but my team is looking far better than they did last year. No comment, on Cassel).

Coaches Wade Phillips and Mike Singletary both received votes of confidence from their perspective owners. (I don't really see either of them standing at the end of the year unless they have an honest to God, walk on water miracle). Then, Wade Phillips felt the need to "diss" Tony Dungy who felt that Tony Romo may not be a good enought leader. "Oh no, you did-ent." (Wow, that was a horrible allusion). Uhm, Wade, Tony actually made an NFL team, while you did not. Tony has a Super Bowl ring, and the only ring you've seen is the one Jerry Jones flashes from the last decade and the one in your bathtub.

Shawne Merriman was put on IR with a minor injury designation which pretty much ends his career with the Chargers (Dear Kansas City, New Orleans, Atlanta: I'm going to need one of you to grab him for my sake, 'kay). Tom Brady was dissed by Justin Bieber for having hair like-wait for it-Justin Bieber. This from a kid, who is not a female, who just released a line of nail polish. Tom, let me introduce you to the scissors. Brett Favre is still in trouble with the league for his alleged improprities with Jenn Sterger, has elbow tendonitis, and was hit in the crotch with football this week. Karma. I also like how nobody stops to check on him. Where's the love guys?

Aaron Rodgers has a concussion, Clay Matthews is hurt, Ryan Grant is out for the year, and Nick Barnett had surgery and is out for the year. Why am I hearing the M.A.S.H. theme song, when I think about the Packers? Ben Roethlisberger, Santonio Holmes, and Brian Cushing are back, to which I shrug. Breaking News: Anthony Gonzalez and Bob Sanders are at press time still injured.

I am coming to the realization that maybe I should be spending my Sundays doing something more beneficial than playing fantasy football, because my teams stink like a day old basket of gym socks after a game. Despite big names that appear on my fantasy roster, my teams are still well, turrible.

• Hecates's HellHounds of the League of Champions league: 4-1 (The Diamond standard)
  
• Kansas City Chiefs of the Dynasty Orginization League: 2-3 (An embarrasment to the real Chiefs)
  
• Runtelldat Homeboys of the Big Easy League: 2-3 (15 minutes of fame are just about up)
  
• The Cromartie Eight of the Football Fist Pump League: 1-4 (About to be put up for adoption)
  
• Matching Mugshots of the Atypical Sports Show League: 0-5 (Should be jailed until next year like their namesake. I should have never changed my team name.)

Last week, I went an anemic 5-9, which makes my record to date: 34-27. I'm still above .500.
Taking a deep breath and diving in...

Atlanta vs. Philadelphia: Atlanta

Kansas City vs. Houston: *holding my breath* Kansas City (I'm just being a good fan, I don't believe that either)

New Orleans vs. Tampa Bay: Tampa Bay has been a hard out these last few weeks, and they always bring their A game against the Saints. I'm still taking New Orleans.

Miami vs. Green Bay: Green Bay has a lot of injuries and burned me last week, but I'm sticking with my pick. Green Bay

San Diego vs. St. Louis: San Diego lost to the Raiders last week. The Raiders!!! St. Louis.

Baltimore vs. New England: Baltimore

Detroit vs. New York Giants: New York Giants. Eli, you better not.

Cleveland vs. Pittsburgh: Pittsburgh

Seattle vs. Chicago: Chicago

New York Jets vs. Denver: New York Jets

Oakland vs. San Francisco: San Francisco better win this game.

Dallas vs. Minnesota: It is a must win for both teams. *flipping a coin* *2 outta 3* Dallas

Indianapolis vs. Washington: Indy

Monday Night Football: Tennessee vs. Jacksonville. Tennessee

That's all folks. Until next week, "One cannot too soon forget his errors and misdemeanors; for to dwell upon them is to add to the offense." ~Henry David Thoreau

Picks from a Maniac Maenad-Week 5

Hey, guys! Welcome to week 5! I apologize for my absence last week during my Chiefs bye...My real job, as you guys know, often takes a lot of time and prep, end of excuse. Anyway I'M BACK!!!! No more bye weeks!!! So, what's happening this week...I'm still having trouble believing that my Chiefs are 3-0 and the last undefeated. Guess who they get next...Peyton...sigh...The biggest news of the week was that Randy Moss, his beard, and the Pats' seventh-round draft pick in 2012 were traded from the Patriots to the Vikings for a third-round 2011 draft pick. Fans are looking forward to the Monday Night game. Will Darrelle Revis be able to strand Moss on Revis Island? Meanwhile, Brett Favre was hoping this trade would divert attention from his naughty little problem. Allegedly, Favre sent salacious texts and pictures of a part of his anatomy that I would rather not think about to a former Jets employee/Playboy model/Versus girl Jenn Sterger. Sigh, now really, Paw-Paw. That's just...creepy...ewww...uber-creepy...ewww...

In other news, the suspendeds are coming, the suspendeds are coming...Ben Roethlisberger is returning after serving his suspension for being a "naughty boy." I still hate him. Brian Cushing is returning after his PEDs suspension. Santonio Holmes finally shows up in a Jets uniform. Hopefully, all of these "bad boys" have learned their lesson and will never, EVER, commit these infractions again...*side-eye*

In injury news, my fantasy football curse has struck again. It appears that just merely appearing on my roster will get you hurt. It's like the kiss of death. So far, it has effected the Green Bay Packers the worse having taken out both Ryan Grant and Nick Barnett. They join Ray Rice, Pierre Thomas, Ryan Mathews, (apparently, Running Backs are the worse), Shawne Merriman and multiple others on the Chargers DEF/ST, Clinton Portis, Ahmad Bradshaw, Austin Collie, Matt Stafford, and Pierre Garcon. I will not be held responsible for Anthony Gonzalez...That dude is apparently made of glass and porcelain.

Well, y'all despite the big names that appear on my fantasy roster, a quarter of the way through the season, my teams are still not fairing well.

• Hecates's HellHounds of the League of Champions league: 3-1
• Kansas City Chiefs of the Dynasty Orginization League: 2-2
• Runtelldat Homeboys of the Big Easy League: 2-2
  
• The Cromartie Eight of the Football Fist Pump League: 1-3
• Matching Mugshots of the Atypical Sports Show League: 0-4

Hecate's HellHounds are performing very well, while Matching Mugshots are the 49ers of my fantasy teams. SMH...Sigh...I think I might need to retire as a fantasy manager. This is just sad...

Before my hiatus, I was 18-13. I went 11-5 in week 3, bringing my current record to 29-18. Not bad, a heck of a lot better than my fantasy record.

Green Bay Packers at Washington Redskins: Green Bay

Jacksonville Jaguars at Buffalo Bills: Jacksonville

Kansas City Chiefs at Indianapolis Colt: Kansas City. I've got to stand behind my boys.

Atlanta Falcons at Cleveland Brown: Atlanta

Denver Broncos at Baltimore Raven: Baltimore

Chicago Bears at Carolina Panther: Chicago

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Cincinnati Bengals: Cincinnati

St. Louis Rams at Detroit Lions: St. Louis

New York Giants at Houston Texans: Houston

New Orleans Saints at Arizona Cardinals: New Orleans

Tennessee Titans at Dallas Cowboys: Dallas

San Diego Chargers at Oakland Raiders: San Diego

Philadelphia Eagles at San Francisco 49ers: San Francisco

Monday Night Football-Minnesota Vikings at New York Jets: New York Jets

Those are my picks guys. Same time, same place next week. Until next time, "One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best." - Alan Shearer

Picks from a Maniac Maenad-Week 3

It's week three everybody, and parity is running rampant in the NFL. Once again, up is down and down is up. Who would have thought that going into week 3 the Chiefs, Dolphins, Texans, and Buccaneers would be sitting atop their divisions with 2-0 records? Who could have foreseen that Dallas, Minnesota, and San Francisco floundering in the basement with the same 0-2 record as the Lions, Bills, and Browns? It's craziness!!! Sheer Craziness!!!

The Jets upset the New England Patriots on Sunday (yeah, I said it. How many people besides Jets fans thought they were going to win last Sunday?), and then Braylon Edwards proceeded to get a DWI. Sigh...I'll talk about that later, but seriously, the Jets need to reign in their players. With Miami currently at the top and New England always in the hunt, there is too much foolishness going on in that locker room. From top to bottom, get it together Jets, you have too much talent to become the Raiders.

Michael Vick showed that he still has a lot of Michael Vick left in him. Then, lost the starting job to Kevin Kolb, then gained the job back within the span of two days. I can see that Andy Reid has been reading the Brett Favre book How to Waffle and Try not to Appear like a Moron. Speaking of "Paw-Paw" Favre, what is going on in Minnesota? Favre looked like a grandfather last week on the sidelines of that game (he seriously looked like he was wishing for a Barcalounger and a remote control).

Tennessee pulled Vince Young, again for Kerry Collins after the Pittsburgh and Troy Polomalu ran rough shot over the Titans. Young will be behind center today, but he looked bad last Sunday. I'm not talking about my Chiefs. Washington fell apart as the Texans took over the AFC South. Tampa Bay and Josh Freeman are showing much improvement and are tied with the Saints in the South. San Diego took apart the Jacksonville Jaguars on a week I had them on the bench. Saints are still playing like the champs.

I am having a hard time in fantasy. My record thus far is a pathetic 2-10...My five teams have been stinking to high heaven...I have great players who are not doing great things. Hecate's Hellhounds rolled last week on the legs of Adrian Peterson and the arm of Philip Rivers. The Runtelldat Homeboys barely cleared the hurdle with Miles Austin leading the team. The Cromartie Eight, Kansas City Chiefs (unlike the real Chiefs), and Matching Mugshots are still swimming in a flooded basement.

I was 8-8 last week, mostly because I was a buster rolling behind Dallas, Minnesota and New England. My record pick record is still slightly above .500 at 18-13. Let's see how I will fair this week.

Cincinnati v. Carolina-Cincinnati
Buffalo v. New England-New England
San Francisco v. Kansas City-My ex-husband vs. my current. My upset of the day *closing my eyes* Kansas City Chiefs
Tennessee v. New York Giants-New York Giants
Cleveland v. Baltimore-Baltimore
Pittsburgh v. Tampa Bay-Pittsburgh
Atlanta v. New Orleans-I have 4 fantasy players in this game: Tony Gonzalez, Drew Brees, Pierre Thomas and Jason Snelling. New Orleans
Detroit v. Minnesota-Minnesota, although Detroit looked really good last week.
Dallas v. Houston-Houston. I can't even look at Dallas.
Philadelphia v. Jacksonville-Even with the foolishness in Philly, I'm taking the Eagles
Washington v. St. Louis. Washington
Indianapolis v. Denver-Indianapolis
Oakland v. Arizona-Arizona
San Diego v. Seattle-San Diego
New York Jets v. Miami-New York Jets

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL: Green Bay v. Chicago. Chicago is much improved with that new Mike Martz's offense. I still don't trust Cutler. I'm going with Aaron Rodgers and the Packers.

Well, that's all I've got folks. Until next week "It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up." Vince Lombardi

Another Prediction from a Busybody, Know-it-All Football Fan

Happy Divisional Playoff Weekend football fans! It just seems like yesterday that we had the kickoff of football season. Now, we are just six games away from the Super Bowl. So, the AP has been giving out their annual awards so if you haven’t heard by now here is a quick re-cap: Offensive Player of the Year-Chris Johnson, RB, Tennessee Titans. Chris Johnson had a monster year for the Titans clocking 2,509 yards from scrimmage, not to mention running for over 2,000 yards. I don’t think I’ve run 2,000 yards in my life much less in a 16 game season. Defensive Player of the Year-Charles Woodson, CB, Green Bay Packers. Okay, I’m a homer, I was rooting for Darren Sharper, and most of the country thought that it should have gone to Darrelle Revis of the Jets who shut down every receiver that came within yard of his orbit. That said, no one can argue with Woodson’s year. He tied for the league lead with 9 interceptions three returned for touchdowns, not to mention he was instrumental in the Packers becoming the second rank defense in the league. League MVP went to Peyton Manning, of course. As I said last week, this is Peyton Manning’s record fourth MVP award. It’s pretty hard to argue with Manning winning the MVP, he didn’t slip up during the year, like Drew Brees or Brett Favre. Manning’s team didn’t lose because of him *cough, Curtis Painter.* I actually thought that Philip Rivers should have been higher than Brees. Comeback Player of the Year was Tom Brady, uh-huh, about right. Defensive Rookie of the Year was Brian Cushing, LB, Houston Texans. Cushing had a great rookie season for the Texans. Cushing had 133 total tackles, 4 sacks, 4 interceptions, and 2 forced fumbles. I’d say he deserved the award. Offensive Rookie of the Year went to Minnesota Vikings, WR, Percy Harvin. In between suffering from migraine headaches that often kept him from practice, Percy Harvin managed to only have 60 receptions racking up 790 yards and 6 TDs. He rushed for another 135 yards. Did I mention he returned 42 kickoffs for 1, 156 yards averaging 27.5 yards per return with two kickoffs for TDs, one of which was 101 yards? The Coach of the year title went to Cincinnati Bengals Head Coach Marvin Lewis. Yay, Marvin. Marvin had a tremendous turnaround with the Bengals this year, and he managed to keep his team together after the tragic deaths of Vicki Zimmer, DC Mike Zimmer’s wife, and WR Chris Henry. Congratulations to all of the winners…

Quick side note my Kansas City Chiefs have hired two of the biggest names (not to mention waistlines) to join Coach Todd “Dead Man Walking” Haley. Romeo Crennel was added this week as the defensive coordinator, joining Charlie Weis as Scott Pioli continues to build the New England Patriots: Midwest Edition. How long before Haley starts sporting the cut-off hoodie…Stay tuned…The Second Round of the Playoffs begin this weekend. Let’s take a look at the games…

The Arizona Cardinals v. The New Orleans Saints. Last weekend the Cardinals managed to survive a shootout in the desert with the Green Bay Packers. The 51-45 game was an instant NFL Classic (the NFL Network even said so). Kurt “Hey, I’m still younger the Brett Favre” Warner continues to be a geriatric wonder on the field, and now he and his Cardinals are trying to perform yet another miracle and make their way to a second Super Bowl in as many years. Meanwhile, in New Orleans, Drew Brees and the “Who Dat?” Boys seem to have fallen out of favor with a lot of the NFL Prognosticators. They took the foot off the gas at the end of the season dropping three in a row. Although they weren’t pulling players to just rest, they were resting injured players who needed the recovery time. History, however, shows that no team who has lost their last three games has gone to one, much less won a Super Bowl. That said, I take the New Orleans Saints for the win.

The Baltimore Ravens v. The Indianapolis Colts. Four-time MVP Peyton Manning and his Colts are hosting Ray Lewis and the Ravens. Ray Rice delivered the first nail to the coffin of Tom Brady and the Patriots, and then the defense buried the Patriots hopes of a return to the Super Bowl. Most commentators maintain that the pressure is on the Colts who chose to rest players down the stretch instead of playing their starters. It’s another case of rust vs. momentum. If it comes down to a quarterback battle between Peyton and Joe Flacco, I have to put my money on Peyton, especially since Flacco has a bad hip and only was 4-10 for 34 yards against the Patriots. While I like and have a healthy fear of the Ravens and their defense, I have to put my money on the Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts.

The Dallas Cowboys v. the Minnesota Vikings. In the I hate one entire team and the other team’s quarterback bowl, the Cowboys who have been on a roll against the Eagles (twice), Redskins, and Saints head to Minnesota to take on Lorenzo and the Purple People eaters. For those who are not in the know, I hate the Cowboys, and since I am not really a member of the Media, I don’t have to pretend I don’t have a bias. They have won…blah-blah-blah…Tony Romo finally won in December, whoop-te-doo. Minnesota ended their season on high note taking out Eli Manning and the Giants. Although I don’t like him much, I’m hoping old Lorenzo marches Adrian Peterson, Percy Harvin, Visanthe “I couldn’t have one easy name” Shiancoe, and Sidney Rice down the throats of the Cowboys. Then, to borrow a quote from Mike Tomlin, I hope that Jared Allen and the Williams boys “Unleash Hell” on the Cowboys and Tony Romo. You would literally have to pay me to pick the Cowboys. Lord Lorenzo and the Vikings over Da Boys.

The New York Jets v. the San Diego Chargers. The New York Jets and their coach Rex Ryan have been spreading smack like nobody’s business the last few weeks having taken out the Bengals (twice) and the Colts. Coach went so far as saying they should be a favorite in the Super Bowl. Slow down, Rexy boy, take it down a notch. They are taking the band on the road again headed to quarterback Mark Sanchez’s old stomping grounds to take on Philip Rivers and the San Diego Chargers. It is no secret that the writer of this blog has an unhealthy fan crush on San Diego Chargers OLB Shawne Merriman, even though that writer maintains that she (who shall remain nameless) is a Kansas City Chiefs fan. The only thing that has come out of the San Diego Chargers camp is a viral video that I’m sure RB LaDainian Tomlinson wishes he had never made (“I read the defense, read the defense, catch that pass, hit that hole”). The Chargers were on an 11 game win streak going into the playoff. Darrelle Revis has stranded many a receiver on Revis Island, but he hasn’t seen receivers the size of Vincent Jackson, Malcolm Floyd, and TE Antonio Gates. Good luck with that. As if you didn’t already know, I’m picking the San Diego Chargers.

That’s it. Those are my predictions sure to go wrong. I'm about to take LT's advice and read the defense of Saints. See you next week for the Conference Championship games. In the words of Mark Twain, "I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said 'I don't know'." See you next week!!!