It’s the Twilight of the Fantasy Season. Who do you chose: Team Peyton or Team Drew?

Welcome Back, Ladies and Gents. It’s crunch time in the fantasy world. While the NFL Playoff season doesn’t begin until January, fantasy players only have three weeks to get their affairs in order. So what’s up in the NFL world? Rex Ryan cried in front of his football team. The guru Bill Belichick is being crucified (I laugh only because I don’t like him) for his fourth and two play against Peyton Manning and the Colts, who *gasp* won again. Kyle Orton is hurt, Michael Turner is hurt, Troy Polomalu is hurt; so is Albert Haynesworth, Brian Westbrook, Cedric Benson, and Jerious Norwood. There are some Fantasy owners doing a Nancy Kerrigan “Why?” cry right about now. Include me in that list. Former Chief Larry Johnson became a Cincinnati Bengal. Dick Jauron was *gasp* fired (can’t say I was shocked or cared). Speaking of the Bills, Titans owner’s Bud Adams was fined $250,000 for repeatedly reminding the Bills fans that his last place Titans were Number One. The Ravens beat the Browns on a Monday Night Football game that only Ravens and Browns fans watched. I assumed they won. I didn’t watch the game; if I wanted to watch paint dry, I would actually, well paint. The Broncos lost Kyle Orton, then their dignity as they lost to the Washington Redskins. My Chiefs finally won game number two (then, Dwayne Bowe was suspended for 4 games for diuretics), but my game of the week was Dallas at Green Bay. Now, I don’t like either of these teams, and I was terribly upset that I was all but forced to watch it. It was so amusing watching America’s Team lose to a team that was beaten the week before by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. I’m a hater…I admit… Oh, yeah, Peyton, Drew, and Favre won. I know, I, too, was shocked by that news.

Then, surprise, surprise. Ms. Alcoholic Beverage filed a lawsuit against Shawne Merriman, had a Britney meltdown and then accused him of practically every crime she and her brain (I assume) could imagine, including questioning black people for supporting him because he doesn’t date black girls. Excuse me, I don’t care who or what he dates for that matter and long as he performs on the field. It’s not like I’ll ever date him. We support him because your account sounds like a bad episode of some CW drama. Hey, Mr. Rock, come get your girl. She was due to crawl back under you about two years ago. I am so sick of these “women.” Seriously, I understand that there have been girls who have been assaulted by athletes. I am heartedly sympathetic to these girls. It is girls like her (and I refuse to use that sham of a name) who make it difficult for the real victims to come forward. I’m not completely taking Merriman off the hook, after all, he did take her home, but I truly hope he takes a play from Big Ben and countersues. Gentlemen, do us all stop put a C and an L before it. Remember, Class before…well you fill in the blank.

The week before my fantasy teams went 4-0. This past week: 1-3. To quote the quote master, Jim Mora, himself, "You just never know. You think you know, but you don't. And you never will." This has been an up and down year with more downs than ups. Here’s the whole mess…

The Merry Mad Men (6-4) v. bucs

My Merry Mad Men took on The Rebels of the Hell Raisers League. I came to play with the following team: QB-Kurt Warner, RBs-LaDainian Tomlinson and Ricky Williams, WR-Donald Driver, Mike Wallace, Reggie Wayne, TE-Tony Gonzalez, K-Nate Keading, DST-San Diego Chargers.

Good news: my MadMen are still number one in the division. Bad news: 4 losses, Yikes! LDT finally showed some fire and turned in a 21 point performance. Congratulations to the Tomlinsons who are expecting their first baby. God Bless! Kurt Warner was once again my Player of the Week again pulling in 25 points by himself, but the MadMen went down swinging losing to the bucs 111-105.

Hecate’s HellHounds (4-6) v. Den Destroyers

The HellHounds are dropping faster than Lamar Odom’s IQ. Playoff hopes are just about gone. My starting lineup: QB-Drew Brees, RBs-Ryan Grant and Ricky Williams, WRs-Deverey Henderson, Mike Wallace, Donald Driver, TE-Tony Gonzalez, K-Olindo Mare, DST-San Diego Chargers. Drew was my player of the week with 16 points. Drew, really? Help a sister out! My Hell pups survived the hurricane 92-52.

The Crazy 88’s (6-4) v. G Dogs

The 88’s are tied for last place in our division. SMH… I started QB-Donovan McNabb, RBs-Julius Jones and Fred Jackson, WRs-Donald Driver, Reggie Wayne, Mike Wallace, TE-Tony Gonzalez, K-Dan Carpenter, DST-San Diego Chargers. Donovan McNabb and the Eagles lost to the San Diego Chargers, but his 28 points made him my Player of the Week. The Crazy 88’s was my only winner of the week beating the G Dogs 97-43.

Gonzalez menos un Gonzalez (4-6) v. The Beast Unleashed

Whatever…I’ve practically had it with this team. I lined-up with: QB-Jay “I hate myself for drafting you” Cutler, RB-LDT, and Cedric Benson, WR-T. J. Houshmandzadeh, Mike Wallace, and Larry Fitzgerald, TE-Tony Gonzalez, K-Dan Carpenter, DST-San Diego Chargers. My player of the week was LDT. The Beast Unleashed opened up a can of whoop a** on Gonzalez menos un Gonzalez 105-79. That’s all I’ve got to say about that.

Well, that’s all I’ve got guys. Until next week, kids… I end with Jim Mora’s most famous rant, "Playoffs?! Don't talk about playoffs! Are you kidding me? Playoffs? I'm just hoping we can win another game!" Have a good fantasy week, y’all…

All this and Merriman's Mohawk...

I thought I had posted this yesterday. I'm crazy sometimes, but this is the third of my four draft posts. On Monday, my home league annouced its draft day. I will give you a little info on that montley crew when I post that draft at the end of the month. Monday evening was my third and last draft with NFL.Com. My home league is with ESPN.Com. This was the draft of the American Fantasy League of NFL.COM.

Like the first league, AFL is comprised of twelve teams, and we draft in the order in which we joined the league. I picked in the 1st round, while a worse than yesterday. Order is reversed on even rounds. Meet my fellow teams: 1-4th and goal, 2-Green Machine, 3-Greenfield Assassins, 4-JAWBREAKER, 5-Norfolk Blues, 6-Devil's Rejects, 7-G-Dogs, 8-TBaggers, 9-Black Sheep, 10-The Crazy 88s, 11-hotshot67, 12-bigboimike26. This is the American Fanstasy League. Our league is divided into 3 divisions: East, Central, West. This time I am in the West Division with Black Sheep, Green Machine, and Jawbreaker. They seem like nice guys, and I actually chatted during the the Draft. Once again, I am the only female in this league.

The Crazy 88's are named after two of my favorite things: Tony Gonzalez #88 of the Atlanta Falcons, formerly of the Kansas City Chiefs and the mad group of bodyguards surrounding O-Ren Ishii (Lucy Liu) in the Kill Bill: Vol. I. I hope my team doesn't meet the same fate as those bodyguards.

The draft began at 6:15, and I missed the first part because I was also watching NFL Total Access. I was momentarily transfixed by Shawne Merriman and his blue mohawk. He actually manages to pull it off, nice 5 o'clock shadow, dimples, okay stop....

By now you know the rules, so I'm not going to waste time going over it again. The draft lasted longer than any of the other drafts, but I managed to get probably the most handsome team in the draft. That's not what I was shooting for, it just happened to work out that way, and I am not complaining. :)

1st round-Running Back LaDanian Tomlison
2nd round-Wide Receiver Reggie Wayne
3rd round-Quarterback Donovan McNabb
4th round-Tight End Tony Gonzalez
5th round-Defense San Diego Chargers
6th round-Running Back Larry Johnson
7th round-Wide Receiver Donald Driver
8th round-Wide Receiver Torry Holt
9th round-Wide Receiver Ted Ginn, Jr.
10th round-Quarterback Jake Delhomme
11th round-Running Back Jerious Norwood
12th round-Kicker Rob Bironas
13th round-Tight End Jeremy Shockey
14th round-Defense Indianapolis Colts

Donovan McNabb is new to the team. He is still a good quarterback, and as long as he isn't injured (keeping my fingers crossed), he should work out fine. I'll be honest the only thing I know about Ted Ginn, Jr is that his is about twelve, went to Ohio State, and nothing. He's a reserve anyway. Jeremy Shockey use to be a pro bowl tight end until his mouth wrote him a one way ticket from the Giants to the Saints. Hopefully, he can return to Pro Bowl form and take TG's place for one week. I have a new kicker, Rob Bironas. He's a pretty reliable kicker for the Tennesee Titans. I don't really care about kickers.

Well, draft time is over. I am pretty satisfied with my teams, because they mostly consist of the same players. LOL. This is a first for me. To have LT, Merriman, and Gonzalez on all 3 of my teams is well, almost shocking. (cue devious laugh)

I am going to keep tabs on my players from now until the season starts. Training Camps open this week for most of my teams. Can you feel it football fans? It's almost here! Let's Go!!

“Most football teams are temperamental. That's 90% temper and 10% mental.” --Doug Plank
Preach on brother Plank!

And So It Begins...

Welcome to the first of my three draft posts. My first league draft is with the Hell Raisers league of NFL.COM. For those of you who have never played fantasy football, this is how the draft works.

The league is comprised of twelve teams. We draft in the order in which we joined the league. I will pick 9th in the 1st round, which sucks. Order is reversed on even rounds. Meet my fellow teams: 1-Eaglescrazy, 2-New Jersey Girl, 3-BenGal, 4-maniacs, 5-THE REBELS, 6-steelerdan, 7-bucs, 8-Last Cowboy, 9-The Merry MadMen, 10-Ballbusterzzzz, 11-Murder, 12-NK Stallions. This is the league of the Hell Raisers. Our league is divided into 3 divisions: East, Central, West. I am in the central division with BenGal, Last Cowboy, and New Jersey Girl.

Draft will begin promptly at 10:45 am eastern time. There are fourteen rounds. Each team will have 90 seconds between picks. If you run out of time, computer picks for you. Each team will, therefore, choose 14 players. Only 9 of these players may be active during a game day, 5 are reserve players. Every team needs 1 Quarterback, 2 Running backs, 3 Wide Receivers, 1 Tight End, 1Kicker, 1 Defense. Keep in mind. You don’t want too many of your players to have the same bye week, which means if you are a homer, you will lose. (Each team in the NFL gets one week off during the season called a bye, so your players on that team will not be playing.) I have who I want in mind. I hope to at least walk away with one of my chosen. Wish me luck!

1st round-San Diego Chargers Running back-LaDanian Tomlinson. I am hoping LT is close to MVP form. He was injured, but not bad last year. He says that he is back and out to prove his critics wrong.
2nd round-Indianapolis Colts Wide Receiver-Reggie Wayne. He is the clear #1 in Indy, now that Marvin Harrison is gone. Throw him the ball Peyton!
3rd round-Arizona Cardinals Quarterback-Kurt Warner. I hope he brings back some of that Super Bowl magic from last year. He throws to two of the best wide receivers in the game Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin. Hope he stays healthy, and they catch the ball.
4th round-Atlanta Falcons Tight End-Tony Gonzalez. It hurts just calling him a Falcon. My favorite player since 1997, I rely heavily on Tony's solid hands. I just hope that he does not spend the year on the line blocking.
5th round-Pittsburgh Steelers Wide Receiver-Santonio Holmes. I hope Santonio plays this season like the he did during the Super Bowl.
6th round-Kansas City Chiefs Running Back-Larry Johnson. My first Chiefs player chosen. Larry has had problems over the last two years. In 2007, he broke his foot and missed the end of the season. In 2008, off the field issues literally kept him off the field for 5 games. Let's hope those are resolved, because I like the idea of having a two headed monster like LT and LJ running for me. I want them to party like 2006.
7th round-San Diego Chargers Defense-My favorite linebacker Shawne Merriman and his buddy Shaun Phillips with a dash of rookie Larry English. I'm soooo ready to see them back in shape. Last year, they treated me bad-ad-ead, wrong my dear. But, the two headed monster is back. I think Norv and Ron will start Merriman slowly, but look out JaMarcus, Joe, whoever throws in Miami, Big Ben, Kyle, Matt, Eli, Donovan, whoever throws in Cleveland, Tony, Carson, Kerry, and Jason. Sacks are their business, and business should be good...
8th round-Green Bay Packers Wide Receiver-Donald Driver. Reliable hands. Donald Driver is one of the best wide receivers that no one talks about.
9th round-San Francisco 49ers Wide Receiver-Issac Bruce. Bruce is dependable. But, I don't see him actually starting unless it's a bye week for my other players. He just doesn't have a reliable quarterback.
10th round-Kansas City Chiefs Quarterback-Matt Cassel. I would not draft Matt as a starter. KC's O-line is rather thin. If he can stay up right, he can make a reliable back up.
11th round-San Diego Chargers Kicker-Nate Kaeding. Nate is my starting kicker. He is a pretty reliable kicker. Kickers, however, do not make or break a team. I actually won a game last year without a kicker.
12th round-Atlanta Falcons Running Back Jerious Norwood. Jerious will not get the most carries in ATL; those will go to Michael Turner, but he is a good back up.
13th round-Miami Dolphins Defense. Jason Taylor is back. Joey Porter is back. They are pretty quiet now. They will suffice as a back up.
14th round-Denver Broncos Tight End-Tony Scheffler. He is only there for Gonzalez's bye week. I normally don't draft Broncos, but he was all that was left really.

Okay, this is not a great team, but it is pretty good. I have won a championship with less. I don’t carry an extra kicker. There really isn’t a point. You can always pick up a spare later. I did get a lot of the players I wanted. I hope the one’s I did get pan out. Draft number 2 tomorrow.