NFL Week Two Picks: The "Did that just Happen?" Edition

Welcome to Week 2 of the 2011 NFL Season!! I hope last week was a good week for your teams, because it was a craptastic performance for some of my favorites. Honestly, The Chiefs are my team, but there are some teams that I root for from time to time. Take for example the New Orleans Saints who lost to the Pack on opening night, the Atlanta Falcons who were dismantled by the Bears as I watched, and of course, my Chiefs seemed to forget that they won their division last year as they were spanked heartily at Arrowhead Stadium by the Buffalo Bills. Let me say that again, the Buffalo Bills. *Winks, head nod* What's up, Shawne Merriman?

Good news: Tony Gonzalez moved within 5 catches of moving past Terrell "I have no foreseeable job prospects besides my reality show" Owens for 5th place all time in receptions. T.O. currently has 1,078 while T.G. has 1,074. I don't think I need to remind you all that T.G. is a Tight End, right? Good luck, Tony. See you in second place at the end of the year!!! Only on this list. I'm sticking to my pick of the Falcons as Super Bowl Champs.

Second Verse, Same as the First-Picks from a Maniac Maenad Week 11

Welcome to week 11 of the NFL! It has been a week of the same ole, same ole in the National Football League. The NFL has become a veritable Baskin Robbins presenting a flavor of the week from its 32 every week. The Giants, the Patriots, the Steelers...blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...This week's flavor-Eagle mint. Michael Vick showed flashes of the MV of old as he and the Eagles had a record setting game at FedEx Field adding further insult to Donovan McNabb who had just signed a contract extention (why we will never know) with the Washington Redskins. The yearly arguement of who is MVP/greater QB between Peyton Manning and Tom Brady has begun. Manning/Brady Bowl will try to solve that quandry this afternoon.

But now, after his Monday Night Performance, Michael Vick has had his name thrown into the hat. Brandon Marshall showed his true colors on national TV during the Dolphins loss to the Bears. Hey Brandon, I know you've have not had a consistent quarterback this year, and you're a bit frustrated, but you are a grown man not a petulant child-act like it. Hey, at least it gives us a reprieve from Brett Favre. Reggie Bush is making his return this week. Yeah, I don't care either. Ah, well...

Most of us are gearing up for our fantasy playoffs which begin in a couple weeks. Sigh...my teams, sadly, will not...

• Hecates's HellHounds of the League of Champions league: 6-4 (Two game losing streak. Shout out to Carson Palmer and his suckage.)
  
• Kansas City Chiefs of the Dynasty Orginization League: 5-5 (on a three game win streak)
  
• Runtelldat Homeboys of the Big Easy League: 2-8 (The fat lady is practicing Do-Re-Me-Fa-Sos.)
  
• The Cromartie Eight of the Football Fist Pump League: 5-5 (Two game win streak has me at .500.)
  
• Matching Mugshots of the Atypical Sports Show League: 2-8 (See Runtelldat Homeboys.)

Last week was as stinker. I went a sound 6-7, bringing my picks record to 72-55. Seriously, Pittsburgh, Kansas City, New York Giants...what happened? Well, here goes nothing.

Arizona Cardinals @ Kansas City Chiefs: Kansas City (wake up, boys!!!)

Detroit Lions @ Dallas Cowboys: Dallas

Green Bay Packers @ Minnesota Vikings: Green Bay

Baltimore Ravens @ Carolina Panthers: Baltimore

Buffalo Bills @ Cincinnati Bengals: Cincinnati

Cleveland Browns @ Jacksonville Jaguars: Cleveland

Houston Texans @ New York Jets: New York Jets

Oakland Raiders @ Pittsburgh Steelers: Pittsburgh

Washinton Redskins @ Tennessee Titans: Tennessee

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ San Francisco 49ers: Tampa Bay

Atlanta Falcons @ St. Louis Rams: Atlanta

Seattle Seahawks @ New Orleans Saints: New Orleans

Indianapolis Colts @ New England Patriots: Indianapolis

New York Giants @ Philadelphia Eagles: New York Giants

Monday Night Football: Denver Broncos @ San Diego Chargers: San Diego

Until next time: "Never quit. It is the easiest cop-out in the world. Set a goal and don't quit until you attain it. When you do attain it, set another goal, and don't quit until you reach it. Never quit." Coach Paul "Bear" Bryant

Picks from a Maniac Maenad-Week 2

Happy Tony Gonzalez Day!!! It's week two ladies and gentleman! How was your team's week one? Mine? Fantastic!!! My Chiefs, who had not played on Monday Night Football since 2006, beat division rival the San Diego Chargers. Yeah, I was surprised, too. It was a coming out party for Romeo Crennel's defense lead by Tamba Hali, Derrick Johnson, and guess who else showed up, Glenn Dorsey. It was also a welcome to Arrowhead to Dexter "Run DMC" McCluster and Javier Arenas. McCluster who set a team record with a 94 yard punt return. These guys are bringing the faithful back. The offense was as usual offensive, pun intended. Matt Cassell with only 68 yards? Jamaal Charles looked pretty good with 92 yards and a touchdown. TE Tony Moeaki channeled a little TG by scoring a TD. Charlie Weis work harder on the offense and less on clogging your arteries, 'kay?

In other news, Bob Sanders is out (shocking I know) and Anthony Gonzalez is out (I see he is following the Bob Sanders model for football careers). Here is a stat on Bob Sanders. He has played 48 of the 97 games since he has been drafted. Bob Sanders is Football's answer to Mike Hampton...Big money for 2 or 3 games a year. Sheesh. Kevin Kolb is out after suffering a concussion in a game that saw way too many injuries. The Eagles/Packers saw Kolb out, Stewart Bradley has a concussion, Leonard Weaver has a torn ACL, and Ryan Grant messed up his ankle (He and Weaver are out for the year.). Dear NFL, as much as I would like an 18 game season, this game (plus Connor Barwin of the Texans disturbing injury) was reason enough not to have one. I actually would like my favorite players to be able to have healthy lives after football.

Michael Vick showed glimpses of the old Michael Vick, Tom Brady and the Pats ran rough-shot over Cincinnati, but two of the biggest stories of the week were Reggie Bush and Inez Sainz. Reggie gave back the Heisman trophy this week, without admitting anything. Reggie, I'm aware that many college athletes take money, just as I'm aware that some take steroids, are binge drinkers, and cheat in the classroom, too. That said, it doesn't make it right. Sure players should probably receive some of the revenue from the sale of their jerseys or their likeness; however, they know what they are signing up for. They promise just like other scholarship students to maintain integrity. Sorry, Reggie, you got caught. Just like the cheater in the classroom or the speeder on the highway, everybody does it, but you got caught. Too bad, so sad. On average, one year at USC costs over $50,000. That's more than some adults make working every single day. That's not enough? You want them to pay for your parents, too? You want them to pay for custom suits and fancy cars, too? Sorry, that's for after college, just like all of the other students. Until the rules change, follow them or don't get caught. Don't feel too bad for Reggie. He has a Super Bowl ring, a gambit of girlfriends, and millions of dollars, while USC lost 30 football scholarships over three years and vacated 14 victories in which Bush played from December 2004 through the 2005 season. Reggie cost 30 other kids the opportunity to shine at USC.

This is all I have to say about the Inez Sainz vs. the Jets story. Really? On both cases. You are grown men working in a professional capacity. You are professionals and your office is the field and the locker room as the way the rules are written now. Act like it. How would you feel if that reporter had been your sister, wife or other female relative? Even if she were wearing a bikini and stripper heels, she was granted a press credential. You have to treat her as a member of the press, period. You are not 12 year old boys with no self-control. You are grown men. Act like it. Ms. Sainz, I'm aware that you have a "provocative style" that you don't want to change. I'm not saying that you deserved whatever was said or done to you (still unclear to this day). You have a responsibility to act like a grown up, too. You are not a 20-something newbie. You are a 32 year old woman. Act like it. When you are in the studio, do whatever you bosses will allow you to do, but when you are in the field dress appropriately. Act like a professional. If you don't know how, see Pam Oliver or Suzy Kolber, I'm sure they can help you out. If both parties had acted like professionals we wouldn't have had a story. Period.

I don't even want to talk about how my fantasy teams went 0-5 last week. Turrible, just Turrible. *Throws hands in the air.* Giving up my manager card...

I did a better job with my picks last week going 10-5. Thanks San Francisco, Indy, Atlanta, Denver, and Dallas for messing up what could have been a good week. So here we go!

Pittsburgh vs. Tennessee- Tennessee
Baltimore vs. Cincinnati- Baltimore
Philadelphia vs. Detroit-Philadelphia
Arizona vs. Atlanta-I'm picking Falcons as they celebrate Tony Gonzalez day

Miami vs. Minnesota-Lorenzo and the Vikings
Kansas City vs. Cleveland-Romeo Crennel and his defense roll into town to take on the team that fired him. Taking my Chiefs!!!!
Tampa Bay vs. Carolina-Carolina
Buffalo vs. Green Bay-Aaron and the Packers
Chicago vs. Dallas-Dallas to rebound
Seattle vs. Denver-Seattle
St. Louis vs. Oakland-(can we call this a draw?) St. Louis, just because I hate Oakland
Jacksonville vs. San Diego- Merriman v. Jones-Drew II, San Diego to rebound.

I'm a little mean, so I hope Merriman returns the favor...

New England vs. New York Jets-New England, because I think Brady and Belichick are already licking their chops.
Houston vs. Washington-Houston
New York Giants v. Indianapolis Colts-I'm taking big brother Peyton to win this game
MNF-San Francisco vs. New Orleans-New Orleans, even though I would love to see the 49ers win the night they retire Jerry Rice's jersey.

That's it guys. Until next week... "That was a disgraceful performance. We threw that game away. We gave them the game. It was pitiful, absolutely pitiful"~Jim Mora. Thanks, coach.

Vick Vent

If I haven't said it before, I love football. Love it, Love it, LOOOVVE IT! But often, I am not a fan of, well, the fans of football. I am a Kansas City Chiefs and San Francisco 49ers fan. Many people would say that I am not a "true fan." I play fantasy football and weekly root for Tony Gonzalez, Shawne Merriman, Peyton Manning, LT, basically you get my drift.

So this week, while watching the weekly Favre watch updates on my favorite shows (NFL Total Access, Sportscenter, the usual), they managed to momentarily stop fawning over Favre to follow, I mean, literally follow, another "superstar" Michael Vick. From the Levenworth to Hampton, VA, they had the over 1100 miles covered. I would not have been surprised if they had surveillance at the local gas stations. "The dirty bird just left the Circle K; I repeat, The dirty bird just left the Circle K." Well, I guess "superstar" is the wrong word considering the man has not stepped foot on a playing field in two years. Now, he's out of jail and waiting to find out his NFL fate. Personally, I never really liked Michael Vick. Whether it was the "water bottle" incident at the airport or flipping the bird to the fans who paid money to boo him, I just never really took to the guy. Besides, I hadn't really cared about the Falcons since Deion left town. (SIDEBAR: I will be watching the Falcons this year thanks to Mr. Tony Gonzalez.)

Anyway, I digress. Back to Vick, as I was saying, I never really liked the guy. Then, there was the dog fighting business, and I really, REALLY did not like the guy. I thought he got exactly what he deserved. To find out the manner in which he was killing and fighting dogs was a disgusting and despicable act. That said, when did this country start equating the life of a dog with that of a human being? I guess I have never understood the whole "my dog is a part of the family bit." Maybe it was because all of my puppies and kittens met tragic deaths. (I lived in the country. Country road, kitties, cars, you get the idea). Maybe it was the adult onset allergies that bring about hives and sneezes. I don't really know. I just don't get it.

I saw a rescue video on MSNBC a few weeks ago. A yacht was sinking, and the rescuer was trying to save this woman's life. Keep in mind the everyone involved was at risk. He reaches for the woman, and she hands him-her dog. Her dog. Yeah, dude was surprised, too. He had to inform her that they take the humans first, and if able the animals. Really, lady?!?

Last Christmas, several of my students collected donations of toys, candy, school supplies, and toiletries for underpriviledged children, you know, children that have no clothes, shoes, home, food. We wrapped indivual boxes for the children and raised the money to mail the packages overseas. The local newspaper thought it would be a good idea to write a story about what these students were doing. I thought how cool that these high schoolers were taking time to give back to others who were less fortunate than themselves. I thought others would feel the same. Wrong!! You should have read some of the Negative Comments. That's right, negative comments, because we could have spent that money here at the Humane Society. I did not stutter. The HUMANE SOCIETY deserved the money more according to several of the comments. Really!?! My students were bashed because we did not donate to the Humane society. Ponder that for a moment.

Back to Vick, as I said, I don't like Vick, but the guy has been punished. Let it go. Let it go. There are people who have murdered people that have served less time. I watched a documentary just last week where a woman served 57 days for murdering her boyfriend. Leonard Little recieved 90 days for killing a woman while he was driving drunk (Little was caught a few years later for DUI again; I guess that 90 days taught him., and Donte Stallworth may get off or a reduced charge in his DUI "accident." By the way, Donte's defense-it was the victim's fault for jaywalking. Both of them are still allowed to play; I don't have time to list all of the others who have committed other acts against their wives, children, and fans. Where are your picket signs? Why weren't the people protesting the Cleveland Browns practices? Why aren't people threatening to boycott the Browns games for reasons other than the fact that they stink and give their players staph infections?

Is a human life not worth more?

I personally don't believe he should play this year. Not for the reasons you may think. Vick has managed to throw away a life that many of us would love to have and would do anything to protect, probably because he wanted to keep his street cred. He lost two years of his life in prison. One of his children is 19 months old, does this child even know him? He went from $130 million dollar contract and all kinds of Nike spokesman dollars to a $10.00 an hour construction job. He should try to get his life together and reflect upon those guys he called friends (who, by the way, spent much less time in jail than he did) rather than thinking about football. After that, if a team wants him, give the dude a uniform. After all, it's not the National Choir Boy League; it's the National Football league. It's a game that celebrates violence (which is why I watch it rather than tennis). You can't tell me that it would not be punishment for an NFL "star" to ride the pine hoping to get into game.

Last time I checked, this is America, and everyone deserves a second chance. Hopefully, Vick can get his life straight. Learn from your mistakes, and avoid Pookie and Jo-Jo, those losers are trying to pull you down, too. Remember, if you lie down with dogs, you get fleas. Bad analogy, my bad. I apologize. And for everyone else, save this stuff for murderers and child molesters, the real scum of the earth. I believe that a society is measured on how it treats its animals, and I am thoroughly disgusted by people who treat animals cruelly. I just have a difficult time equating an animal with a human life. If you think he should be banned, be prepared to ban the ones who have broken all laws, beaten a child or wife, or killed a person. Those are more egregious if you ask me. That's my dish.