Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Congratulations to the AFC West Champion-Kansas City Chiefs

Happy Holidays, everybody! I can't believe that it has been almost a month since my last post. I totally apologize, and I promise to get my act together in the upcoming year. Anyone who has even accidentally read my blog knows that I am a die-hard Kansas City Chiefs fan. Since 1989, I've been a Chiefs fan for better or worse. For the last couple of years, it has been mostly worse. Since 2006, the Chiefs have lost their legendary owner the late, great Lamar Hunt. They have had two different General Managers exchanging Carl Peterson for Scott Pioli. They enlisted 2 head coaches: Herman Edwards and Todd Haley. They have started five different: Trent Green, Damon Huard, Brody Croyle, Tyler Thigpen, Matt Cassel. They traded Pro Bowler Jared Allen and future Hall of Famer Tony Gonzalez. Their record during that time period a dismal 19-45.

KANSAS CITY, MO - DECEMBER 26: Quarterback Matt Cassel  of the Kansas City Chiefs passes during the game against the Tennessee Titans on December 26, 2010 at Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City, Missouri. (Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images)

During those years, the Chiefs have had many good draft picks that just didn't seem to pan out. First Rounders: 2006-Tamba Hali, 2007-Dwayne Bowe, 2008-Glenn Dorsey and Brandon Albert, 2009-Tyson Jackson, 2010-Eric Berry. Not to mention 2007 2nd and 3rd rounders Turk McBride and DeMarcus "Tank" Tyler who were popular during the Hard Knocks documentary, but whose talents are now elsewhere (Turk in Detroit; Tank in Carolina). The Chiefs picked up Brandon Flowers, Jamaal Charles, Brad Cottam, and Brandon Carr in 2008. In 2009, the Chiefs picked up Alex Magee (who was later traded to Tampa Bay), Donald Washington, Colin Brown, and Mr. Irrelevant Ryan Succop (who many joked was the MVP of 2009). 2010 saw the addition of Dexter McCluster, Javier Arenas (from the Tony Gonzalez trade), Jon Asamoah, and Tony Moeaki.

KANSAS CITY, MO - DECEMBER 26: Receiver Dwayne Bowe  of the Kansas City Chiefs is congratulated by fans as he jumps into the stands after making a 75 yard touchdown catch during the game against the Tennessee Titans on December 26, 2010 at Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City, Missouri. (Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images)

Now, I like many Chiefs fans expected a much improved Chiefs team. After all, last season's record was 4-12. I was hoping for an 8-8 record. I had the Chiefs finishing 2nd behind the Chargers (mostly because I refused to put the Broncos or Raiders ahead of my Chiefs). ESPN had them second in the West. Of the Sports Illustrated panel only one put the Chiefs winning the West. NFL Fan House had the Raiders or Chargers winning, while Sporting News had the Chiefs with a 9-7 record behind the Chargers who they saw as finishing 12-4. Boy, were we all wrong.

Nov 29, 2009; San Diego, CA, USA; San Diego Chargers long snapper David Binn (50) snaps the ball at the line of scrimmage during the game against the Kansas City Chiefs at Qualcomm Stadium. Photo via Newscom

The Chiefs are sitting on a 10-5 record after the Raiders and Chargers went down in flames Sunday afternoon. The Chiefs have 7-0 record at the New Arrowhead heading into Sunday's finale against the Raiders. Last season, the Chiefs had no Pro Bowlers for the first time since 1978. This year Jamaal Charles, Dwayne Bowe, and Brian Waters are going to the Pro Bowl. *Tony Gonzalez is also on his way to #11. I am aware he's not a Chief anymore, but it's my blog...

ATLANTA - DECEMBER 06:  Tony Gonzalez #88 of the Atlanta Falcons warms up before facing the Philadelphia Eagles at Georgia Dome on December 6, 2009 in Atlanta, Georgia.  (Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)

Jamaal Charles is second in the league in rushing yards with 1380. Dwayne Bowe is 8th in the league in receiving yards (1094) and 1st in the league in receiving TDs (15). Meanwhile, Matt Cassel is 19th in yardage, but tied with Aaron Rodgers in 6th place with 27 touchdowns. Not bad for a team that finished last year with a 4-12 record.

KANSAS CITY, MO - OCTOBER 24: Quarterback Matt Cassel  of the Kansas City Chiefs runs toward Dwayne Bowe  after passing for a touchdown during the game against the Jacksonville Jaguars on October 24, 2010 at Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City, Missouri. (Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images)

I don't know how far my boys will go in the playoff, but I'm gonna enjoy this trip for as long as I can. The Chiefs haven't won a playoff game since Joe Montana was quarterback, a streak they definitely want to break. That game was January 16, 1994. The Chiefs beat the Houston Oilers. 1994. I was a sophomore in college, Tony Gonzalez was a senior in high school (so was Tiger Woods), Justin Bieber was born that year, Home Improvement was the number one television show, Forrest Gump was the top movie of the year, and The Sign by Ace of Base was the top song of the year. That was a long, LONG, time ago...


Congratulations to the AFC West Champion Kansas City Chiefs...Good luck in the playoffs boys!!!!

Sep 20, 2009; Kansas City, MO, USA; Kansas City Chiefs fans gesture for a first down during the game against the Oakland Raiders at Arrowhead Stadium. Photo via Newscom

So, until next time, just remember "If you can accept losing, you can't win."~Vince Lombardi

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

My Apologies...

Hey, everybody!!! Sorry, I've been away so long, but I've been moving the past two weeks, and I am finally settled. I know I've missed a lot over the past few weeks, but I will catch up with you this weekend!!! I can't wait for week 16!!!!

MORTON GROVE, IL - JANUARY 23: A U-Haul truck departs from a U-Haul store January 23, 2003 in Morton Grove, Illinois. Reno, Nevada-based U-Haul Co. is discussing debt restructuring. (Photo by Tim Boyle/Getty Images)

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Date Woo Girls-Picks from a Maniac Maenad Week 12

Welcome dinner has been served, the sales have been shopped, and we are officially at the start of the Christmas season, which means sadly the NFL season is winding down. Teams are beginning to look at what they can salvage of their season or who they can pick up during the draft. Thanksgiving started off with a spark in the early game between the Patriots and the Lions, but Tom Brady quickly doused the Lions hopes putting a 45-24 smackdown on the Lions. That was the appetizer, for dinner, the NFL offered up the New Orleans Saints and the Dallas Cowboys. The Saints were initially smacking around the Cowboys, until the Cowboys had a lift in spirit in the 3rd quarter. Alas, however, it was not meant to be of Jerry and his boys. After a Roy Williams turnover, Drew Brees remembered, "Hey, I'm Drew Brees." Thus, concludes the season for the Cowboys falling at the hands of the Saints 30-27. The dessert that most of us were too stuff to enjoy found the bumbling Bengals taking on the New York Jets. Earlier in the week, Bengals WR Terrell Owens called Darrelle Revis an "average" cornerback. Then, TO proceeded to be stranded on Revis Island as the Jets spanked the Bengals 26-10. Surprisingly, I went 3 for 3 on Thanksgiving...Not really, we all expected the winners to win.

New York Jets Darrelle Revis plays defense on Cincinnati Bengals Terrell Owens in the second quarter in week 12 of the NFL season at New Meadowlands Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey on November 25, 2010. The Jets defeated the Bengals 26-10.  UPI /John Angelillo Photo via Newscom

In other news, earlier today one of my favorites Shawne Merriman's career as a Buffalo Bill came to an end without his ever playing one single down. Was I surprised? No, not really, but I'm a little saddened. I really wanted to see him make the most of this opportunity. So, Shawne take the next few weeks and evaluate things. If a good team offers you the minimum next year, take it. Participate in all of the off season programs without question. Limit your time in Hollywood, limit your time in front of the camera, and get yourself healed. Hopefully, you can get a full year next season, if we have football next season. BTW, go to Dr. Andrews...I'm just saying...Good luck!!!!

TORONTO, ON - NOVEMBER 07: Shawne Merriman of the Buffalo Bills stands on the field prior to play against the Chicago Bears at Rogers Centre on November 7, 2010 in Toronto, Canada. Merriman was claimed this week after being waived by the San Diego Chargers. (Photo by Rick Stewart/Getty Images)

Speaking of Shawne, his former team the Chargers are taking on Peyton and the Colts this Sunday night. Have developed quite a rivalry over the last few years. As you know, this game use to mean a lot to me. Now, not so much. I'll still be watching because the games are always exciting, but mostly because I need Philip Rivers and the Charger D to perform well, and for Peyton to actually get the ball to Garcon this week.

FOXBORO, MA - NOVERMBER 21: Peyton Manning  of the Indianapolis Colts throws against the New England Patriots at Gillette Stadium on November 21, 2010 in Foxboro, Massachusetts. (Photo by Jim Rogash/Getty Images) San Diego Chargers quarterback Philip Rivers (17) passes in the first half against the Tennessee Titans during their NFL football game in San Diego, California October 31, 2010.   REUTERS/Mike Blake (UNITED STATES - Tags: SPORT FOOTBALL)

Little Hoodie, Josh McDaniels took his hero worship of Bill Belichick to a whole new level today. It wasn't enough to take on Belichick's wardrobe, oh no...He has to follow Bill to spygate land. Really, Joshie? Now, I don't feel so bad that Todd Haley was rude to you after your win over the Chiefs. Denver was caught videotaping the 49ers practices. The 49ers...really...the 49ers? Not, the Pats, not the Colts, the 49ers...are you looking for tips on how to lose? And you used the same dude, who was caught with Belichick. Bravo, little Hoodie, Bravo. Mr. Goddell would like your $50,000 check now.

DENVER - NOVEMBER 14: Head coach Todd Haley of the Kansas City Chiefs has some unwelcome words with head coach Josh McDaniels of the Denver Broncos as he refuses to shake his hand after the Broncos 49-29 win at INVESCO Field at Mile High on November 14, 2010 in Denver, Colorado. The Denver Broncos defeated the Kansas City Chiefs 49-29. (Photo by Justin Edmonds/Getty Images)

Then, there are the Will, not the Hollywood Will Smiths who whipped Willow and her hair into our lives...

OSLO, NORWAY - DECEMBER 11: Hosts Jade Pinkett Smith (2nd L) and Will Smith with children Jaden Smith (L) and Willow  Smith (R) onstage during the Nobel Peace Prize Concert at Oslo Spektrum on December 11, 2009 in Oslo, Norway.   (Photo by Sandy Young/Getty Images for Nobel Peace Prize)

No, no, I'm talking the Will Smiths of New Orleans Saints fame who posed happily and wished every one a Happy Thanksgiving during the game on Thursday. Well, early this morning, they had a rather heated arguement outside of Lafayette night club, and Will Smith apparently dragged his wife Racquel Joseph Smith by her hair down the street. Uhm, are 6'3" and weight 282 pounds, and you felt the need to drag your wife down the street? Dude, really? You go full Fred Flinstone on your wife? C'mon, man...You are both over 25, you are married, and you have 2 kids, why in the name of all things sane are you still clubbing? At 2 am? Both of you need to take a long look in the mirror...and by the way...grow up...

Feb 2, 2010; Miami, FL, USA; New Orleans Saints defensive end Will Smith at Super Bowl XLIV media day at Sun Life Stadium.

Now, I don't really know Will Smith's wife, nor do I want to...I do hope she is okay. Gentleman, there has been an influx of woo girl relationships in the NFL. You know the girls. They wear too much makeup, they are too loud, they drink too much, they wear their clothes too tight (or very little), they dance too closely to both men and women, and of course they "woo." These party girls are not going to be content to be a Mrs. They want the money and the name, but a quiet home life, not so much (see Kendra Wilkinson-Baskett). As a matter of fact, your money just increases their ability to woo at better clubs and parties. There are the professional woo girls, the Kardashians, Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan, Kendra, Tila Tequila, and then, there are the around the way woo girls, the ghetto fabulous clique, and the "sorority" woo girls, your typical girls gone wild girl. If you want a good time, hang out with the woo girls, if you want a wife...avoid at all costs. I'm just saying...and saving you a trip to a lawyer's office or bail bondsman.

Well, the fantasy teams were 2 for 5 last week. All but one are pretty much done tom turkeys.
  • Hecates's HellHounds of the League of Champions league: 7-4 (Finally, back on the winning side.)
  • Kansas City Chiefs of the Dynasty Orginization League: 5-6 (three game win streak over)
  • Runtelldat Homeboys of the Big Easy League: 2-9 (Miss Franklin, we were wondering if you are feeling well enough to sing a dirge for the Runtelldat Homeboys.)
  • The Cromartie Eight of the Football Fist Pump League: 5-6 (Back below the median)
  • Matching Mugshots of the Atypical Sports Show League: 3-8 (See Runtelldat Homeboys, win changes nothing.)
Last week, I had one of my best pick weeks going 10-5 bringing my record to 82-60.

Tennessee Titans @ Houston Texans: Houston

Carolina Panthers @ Cleveland Browns: Cleveland

Green Bay Packers @ Atlanta Falcons: Atlanta

Jacksonville Jaguars @ New York Giants: New York Giants

Minnesota Vikings @ Washington Redskins: Washington

Pittsburgh Steelers @ Buffalo Bills: Pittsburgh

Kansas City Chiefs @ Seattle Seahawks: Kansas City

Philadelphia Eagles @ Chicago Bears: Philadelphia

Miami Dolphins @ Oakland Raiders: Miami

St. Louis Rams @ Denver Broncos: St. Louis

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Baltimore Ravens: Baltimore

San Diego Chargers @ Indianapolis Colts: San Diego

In the "Man, I can't believe this is the Monday Night Football Game"-San Francisco 49ers @ Arizona Cardinals: Arizona

So, until next week,"Dear NFL, don't have a lockout...It will suck for all of the fans. Keep in mind what it did for Baseball. Do you really want to mess with a good thing?" XOXO, Diana

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving!!!-Here's the Turkey!!

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!!! Ah, Thanksgiving...the day we sit down with our families, show our thanks for the years blessings, eat until our pants pop, while watching NFL games. Yes...that is my idea of a good day.

Of course, the star of the Thanksgiving meal is...The turkey...We may have turkey at other times of the year, but there is something extra special about that Thanksgiving bird...But, there is that other kind of turkey. You remember that turkey...LaMont and Rollo used to always comment on that particular turkey. This year, there have been a number of Turkeys in the NFL, here are my 10 turkeys in no particular order...

SONOMA, CA - NOVEMBER 22: With less than one week before Thanksgiving, hundreds of turkeys stand in a barn at the Willie Bird Turkey Farm November 22, 2010 in Sonoma, California. An estimated forty six million turkeys are cooked and eaten during Thanksgiving meals in the United States. (Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)

Randy Moss-This guy has played for three...count 'em Three different teams this year. It seems everywhere he goes chaos falls, even if it's not his fault. He's like Eugene from Hey Arnold!, a jinx. Plus he dissed the craft services guy...don't insult people who make your food, Randy...

FOXBORO, MA - DECEMBER 27: Randy Moss #81 of the New England Patriots is congratulated by team mate Tom Brady #12 after catching his third touchdown pass of the day against the Jacksonville Jaguars in the fourth quarter at Gillette Stadium on December 27, 2009 in Foxboro, Massachusetts. (Photo by Jim Rogash/Getty Images) MINNEAPOLIS - OCTOBER 17: Wide receiver Randy Moss  the Minnesota Vikings looks on prior to the start of the game against the Dallas Cowboys at Mall of America Field on October 17, 2010 in Minneapolis, Minnesota. (Photo by Jeff Gross/Getty Images) MIAMI - NOVEMBER 14: Wide receiver Randy Moss  of the Tennessee Titans makes a catch against the Miami Dolphins at Sun Life Stadium on November 14, 2010 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Marc Serota/Getty Images)

Wade Phillips-The portly former Cowboys coach who was marching America's team to oblivion. (heh-heh-heh). Well, instead of marching the sidelines this Thanksgiving, Wade will be able to watch his replacement Jason Garrett, as Wade drowns his sorrows in gravy.

HOUSTON - SEPTEMBER 26: Head coach Wade Phillips of the Dallas Cowboys looks on from the sideline during a football game against the Houston Texans at Reliant Stadium on September 26, 2010 in Houston, Texas. (Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images)

Brad Childress-I will admit, I've never been fond of Brad, mostly because of his creeper style voice. He quickly lost control of his team. Traveling to Mississippi to wrangle Brett Favre again, then making snide comments about Brett, trading for then releasing Randy Moss in the span of 3 weeks, and losing his team before finally losing his job.

EDEN PRAIRIE, MN - OCTOBER 7: Minnesota Vikings head coach Brad Childress answers questions from the media during a press conference at Winter Park on October 7, 2010 in Eden Prairie, Minnesota. (Photo by Adam Bettcher/Getty Images)

Vince Young-Professed that he had grown up and that he was going to be responsible now. Well, that all ended Sunday. First, he screwed up his hand, then he tossed his jersey and pads into the stands, and he capped it off by storming out of the lockerroom without speaking to his coach. He's sorry now as he has been put on IR and locked out of the facility...

Tennessee Titans Quarterback Vince Young (10) looks on as his Tennessee Titans fall to the Miami Dolphins at Sun Life Stadium, in Miami Florida.November 14, 2010. The Miami Dolphins beat the Tennessee Titans 29-19.   .                          UPI/Susan Knowles... Photo via Newscom

Terrell Owens-This guy has never met a microphone he didn't love. He has insulted Donovan McNabb, Derrelle Revis, and Ben Roethlisberger in the span on two weeks. In addition to a reality show, he and teammate/BFF/fellow Narcissus Chad Ochocinco have the T.Ocho Show, which I'm thankful for not being to see. Meanwhile, he may be having a good year, but the only way the Bengals are going to the Super Bowl is if they buy tickets.

NEW YORK - FEBRUARY 17: Terrell Owens walks the runway at the A*Muse fashion show at Amnesia NYC on February 17, 2010 in New York City. (Photo by Andy Kropa/Getty Images)

Mike Shanahan-I wanted to put Ben Roethlisberger, because I just don't like other reason. (Thank you, Richard was a cheap shot, but I'm looking the other way...this time.) Mike Shanahan, however, has helped to make the Redskins even more ridiculous. From the Haynesworth debacle to benching Donovan McNabb (then giving him an extension) to the mustard colored unis, and let's not forget that ridiculous tan.

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 21: Coach Mike Shanahan of the Washington Redskins watches his team against the Tennessee Titans at LP Field on November 21, 2010 in Nashville, Tennessee. The Redskins won 19-16 in overtime. (Photo by Grant Halverson/Getty Images)

The Carolina Panthers-Y'all, remember they were in the Super Bowl just 7 years ago. NFC South Champs just two years ago...They suffer from injuries to their running backs, can't keep a quarterback, and poor Steve Smith...

GREEN BAY, WI - NOVEMBER 30:  (L-R) Keydrick Vincent #68, Ryan Kalil #67, Travelle Wharton #70, Jordan Gross #69, Muhsin Muhammad #87 and Steve Smith #89 of the Carolina Panthers break the offensive huddle against the Green Bay Packers at Lambeau Field on November 30, 2008 in Green Bay, Wisconsin. The Panthers won 35-31.  (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)

The Cincinnati Bengals-Went from last year's cardiac cats to the Bungles of old. Carson is falling apart, Marvin is falling apart, T. O. is T. O., and Chad OchoCinco is on some other planet. This team is going no where fast.

BALTIMORE - NOVEMBER 11:  Quarterback Carson Palmer #9 of the Cincinnati Bengals runs the offense as the receiver corps waits the play against the Baltimore Ravens at M&T Bank Staduim on November 11, 2007 in Baltimore, Maryland. Cincinnati defeated Baltimore 21-7.  (Photo by Doug Pensinger/Getty Images)

Mike Singletary-Last year, we gave you the benefit of the doubt. Many of us, including me, figured the 49ers were poised to take the NFC West. Boy were we wrong. The 49ers are now tied for last with Arizona and behind St. Louis. BEHIND ST. LOUIS...if I were you dude, I'd be firing up that resume right about now.

San Francisco 49ers' head coach Mike Singletary argues with the referee during their NFL football game against the Denver Broncos at Wembley Stadium in London October 31, 2010.  REUTERS/Eddie Keogh   (BRITAIN - Tags: SPORT FOOTBALL)

Brett Favre-Where do we start with Lord Lorenzo. First, he had to be brought to Minnesota in spetacular fashion after having a slumber party with three of his teammates who flew down to "beg" him to come back. Then, there was the sexting fiasco with Jenn Sterger, and the possible flashing via cell phone. He has had numerous injuries which have affected his effectiveness this year. Now, he has assisted in costing yet another coach his job (see Eric Mangini who also has the dubious honor of having a kid named after Brett). Plus, he has spent the last few weeks "leaning toward retirement." Yes, Brett, you are my Turkey of the year.

MINNEAPOLIS - NOVEMBER 21: Quarterback Brett Favre  of the Minnesota Vikings looks for an open receiver while playing the Green Bay Packers at the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome on November 21, 2010 in Minneapolis, Minnesota. (Photo by Matthew Stockman/Getty Images)

Well, there is the turkey, now here is the gravy...My picks for the day...

New England @ Detroit: New England...I wish I could chose the Lions, but alas, no...

New Orleans @ Dallas: New Orleans...

Cincinnati @ New York Jets: New York Jets

Until next time, "God bless us all, and make us able, To eat all the food that's on this table!" Y'all have a great Thanksgiving!!!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Second Verse, Same as the First-Picks from a Maniac Maenad Week 11

Welcome to week 11 of the NFL! It has been a week of the same ole, same ole in the National Football League. The NFL has become a veritable Baskin Robbins presenting a flavor of the week from its 32 every week. The Giants, the Patriots, the Steelers...blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...This week's flavor-Eagle mint. Michael Vick showed flashes of the MV of old as he and the Eagles had a record setting game at FedEx Field adding further insult to Donovan McNabb who had just signed a contract extention (why we will never know) with the Washington Redskins. The yearly arguement of who is MVP/greater QB between Peyton Manning and Tom Brady has begun. Manning/Brady Bowl will try to solve that quandry this afternoon.

INDIANAPOLIS - NOVEMBER 15:  Quarterback Peyton Manning #18 of the Indianapolis Colts greets Tom Brady #12 of the New England Patriots after the game at Lucas Oil Stadium on November 15, 2009 in Indianapolis, Indiana.  The Colts won the game 35-34.  (Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images)

But now, after his Monday Night Performance, Michael Vick has had his name thrown into the hat. Brandon Marshall showed his true colors on national TV during the Dolphins loss to the Bears. Hey Brandon, I know you've have not had a consistent quarterback this year, and you're a bit frustrated, but you are a grown man not a petulant child-act like it. Hey, at least it gives us a reprieve from Brett Favre. Reggie Bush is making his return this week. Yeah, I don't care either. Ah, well...

Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Michael Vick throws against the Washington Redskins in the first half of their NFL football game in Landover, Maryland November 15, 2010.  REUTERS/Jason Reed (UNITED STATES - Tags: SPORT FOOTBALL)

Most of us are gearing up for our fantasy playoffs which begin in a couple weeks. teams, sadly, will not...
  • Hecates's HellHounds of the League of Champions league: 6-4 (Two game losing streak. Shout out to Carson Palmer and his suckage.)
  • Kansas City Chiefs of the Dynasty Orginization League: 5-5 (on a three game win streak)
  • Runtelldat Homeboys of the Big Easy League: 2-8 (The fat lady is practicing Do-Re-Me-Fa-Sos.)
  • The Cromartie Eight of the Football Fist Pump League: 5-5 (Two game win streak has me at .500.)
  • Matching Mugshots of the Atypical Sports Show League: 2-8 (See Runtelldat Homeboys.)
Last week was as stinker. I went a sound 6-7, bringing my picks record to 72-55. Seriously, Pittsburgh, Kansas City, New York Giants...what happened? Well, here goes nothing.

Arizona Cardinals @ Kansas City Chiefs: Kansas City (wake up, boys!!!)

Detroit Lions @ Dallas Cowboys: Dallas

Green Bay Packers @ Minnesota Vikings: Green Bay

Baltimore Ravens @ Carolina Panthers: Baltimore

Buffalo Bills @ Cincinnati Bengals: Cincinnati

Cleveland Browns @ Jacksonville Jaguars: Cleveland

Houston Texans @ New York Jets: New York Jets

Oakland Raiders @ Pittsburgh Steelers: Pittsburgh

Washinton Redskins @ Tennessee Titans: Tennessee

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ San Francisco 49ers: Tampa Bay

Atlanta Falcons @ St. Louis Rams: Atlanta

Seattle Seahawks @ New Orleans Saints: New Orleans

Indianapolis Colts @ New England Patriots: Indianapolis

New York Giants @ Philadelphia Eagles: New York Giants

Monday Night Football: Denver Broncos @ San Diego Chargers: San Diego

Until next time: "Never quit. It is the easiest cop-out in the world. Set a goal and don't quit until you attain it. When you do attain it, set another goal, and don't quit until you reach it. Never quit." Coach Paul "Bear" Bryant

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Hey Ma! I'm on TV!-Picks from a Maniac Maenad Week 10

Welcome back, everybody! It's week 10 of the NFL season, and the NFL Week is already off and running. Did you guys watch the pre-game extravaganza before the Thursday night game? Yeah, me either. I was also not that fond of Joe Theismann, Matt Millen, and Bob Papa trio in the booth. Yikes, and here I thought it was torture listening to Joe Buck every Sunday. Any hoo, the Atlanta Falcons and the Baltimore Ravens eventually took the field with the Falcons winning 26-21. I was rooting for neither although I had fantasy players on both sides. (Dear Matt Ryan, could you help a sister out and more than occasionally throw a TD TG's way? Y'all are killing me!!!)

ATLANTA - OCTOBER 18: Quarterback Matt Ryan #2 of the Atlanta Falcons speaks to teammate Tony Gonzalez #88 after their 21-14 victory in the game against the Chicago Bears at the Georgia Dome on October 18, 2009 in Atlanta, Georgia. (Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)

As I was drifting in and out of that game Thursday (I still haven't gotten use to this time), I thought I would have a little fun this week. NFL players love to have their time on TV. Case in point, Tony Gonzalez's appearance on One Tree Hill. No, I didn't see it, mostly because I hate One Tree Hill. I started looking at the different teams in the NFL, and because I'm apparently bored, I started putting TV titles to some of this years NFL stories.

Everybody Hates Brad-Apparently, Hell has a new location called Minneapolis, and Brad Childress has been labeled Lucifer. Watch the hilarity ensue as players insult the caters! Anonymous players declare they will win in spite of the coach. The Quarterback gets busted sexting and tries to convince the public and his wife that those naughty pictures are his, as his wide receiving corps rotates injuries from migraines to hips.

NEW ORLEANS - SEPTEMBER 09: Head coach Brad Childress of the Minnesota Vikings reacts late in the second half the New Orleans Saints at Louisiana Superdome on September 9, 2010 in New Orleans, Louisiana. (Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)

The Walking Dead: A new series that revolves around the plight of survivors in three cities as they try to avoid the walking dead. The series originally starred Wade Phillips, Mike Singletary, and Chan Gailey as the leader of the survivors in their respective cities of Dallas, San Francisco, and Buffalo, but after poor ratings, one of the executive producers Jerry Jones, fired Phillips and replaced him with upstart Jason Garrett who will try to lead the Dallas survivors victory. Guest star Shawne Merriman has already succumbed by merely stepping on the practice field.

IRVING, TX - FEBRUARY 08:   Wade Phillips shakes hands with Jerry Jones after being named the new Dallas Cowboys Coach during a press conference on February 8, 2007 in Irving, Texas.   (Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)

Haley and Mangini's Believe it or Not: Todd Haley and his fearless sidekicks Charlie Weis and Romeo Crennel take you to places throughout the country to reveal unbelievable feats like maintaining a lead in the AFC West, constantly going for it on fourth down, driving the collective blood pressures of their fans to astronomical highs and lows in the same quarter. I'm not allowed to watch or listen anymore, due to high superstitions, and the fact that every time I watch/listen something bad happens. Meanwhile, Eric Mangini and his Browns continue to spank teams they have no business beating.

CLEVELAND - DECEMBER 27:  Head coach Eric Mangini of the Cleveland Browns watches his team against the Oakland Raiders at Cleveland Browns Stadium on December 27, 2009 in Cleveland, Ohio.  (Photo by Matt Sullivan/Getty Images) KANSAS CITY, MO - SEPTEMBER 02: Head coach Todd Haley of the Kansas City Chiefs looks on from the sidelines during the game against the Green Bay Packers on September 2, 2010 at Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City, Missouri. (Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images)

The Amazing Race: The NFC South edition watch each week as one of these teams overcome roadblocks and detour on their way to the pit stop at the top of the NFC South. Currently, the Atlanta Falcons are coming in first every week, but the New Orleans Saints and Tampa Bay Buccaneers are having stronger showings every week. Will the Super Bowl Champs return to form with the return of Reggie Bush, Pierre Thomas, and Darren Sharper? Will Drew Brees knee hold up? Will the parvenu Tampa Bay Buccaneers and their fired up coach Raheem Morris bounce back from their week 9 loss at the "Matt" to the Falcons? Who will win?

Atlanta Falcons quarterback Matt Ryan directs play against the Baltimore Ravens during the first quarter of their NFL football game in Atlanta, Georgia November 11, 2010.  REUTERS/Tami Chappell  (UNITED STATES - Tags: SPORT FOOTBALL) ATLANTA - NOVEMBER 07: Quarterback Josh Freeman  of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers looks to pass against the Atlanta Falcons at Georgia Dome on November 7, 2010 in Atlanta, Georgia. (Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images) NEW ORLEANS - OCTOBER 31: Drew Brees  of the New Orleans Saints looks for a receiver during the game against the Pittsburgh Steelers at the Louisiana Superdome on October 31, 2010 in New Orleans, Louisiana. (Photo by Matthew Sharpe/Getty Images)

Psych: Every week Jim Caldwell pretends that he is the head coach of the Indianapolis Colts. He raises his play card to his mouth and talks into a headset that isn't actually plugged in while Peyton Manning continues to be, well Peyton Manning, the man who finds a way to win with anybody in a blue and white uniform.

Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning (18) talks on the sideline with head coach Jim Caldwell (2nd R) during a time out in the second half of their NFL football game against the Washington Redskins in Landover, Maryland, October 17, 2010.  REUTERS/Jonathan Ernst (UNITED STATES - Tags: SPORT FOOTBALL)

Rescue Me: Starring Steve Smith, Donovan McNabb, Marvin Lewis, and the Carolina Panthers. It really needs no explanation.

CHARLOTTE, NC - OCTOBER 24: Steve Smith  of the Carolina Panthers against the San Francisco 49ers during their game at Bank of America Stadium on October 24, 2010 in Charlotte, North Carolina. (Photo by Streeter Lecka/Getty Images) Washington Redskins' quarterback Donovan McNabb is seen on the sidelines against the Green Bay Packers at FedEx Field in Landover, Maryland on October 10, 2010. The Redskins went on to defeat the Packers 16-13. UPI/Kevin Dietsch Photo via Newscom CHARLOTTE, NC - SEPTEMBER 26: Head coach Marvin Lewis of the Cincinnati Bengals watches on before the start of their game against the Carolina Panthers at Bank of America Stadium on September 26, 2010 in Charlotte, North Carolina. (Photo by Streeter Lecka/Getty Images)

$#*! My Coach Says: Each week the New York Jets players try to find a way to one up the outrageous antics of their coach Rex Ryan. From heckling a reporter to calling each other out on Twitter, this team constantly tries to find ways to out"wit" their feisty coach. This week finds Rex playing his twin brother Rob during a press conference.

ORCHARD PARK, NY - OCTOBER 03: Rex Ryan, head coach of the New York Jets stands on the sidelines against the Buffalo Bills at Ralph Wilson Stadium on October 3, 2010 in Orchard Park, New York. The Jets won 38-14. (Photo by Rick Stewart/Getty Images)

Well, I think it is time for me to throw in the towel on two of my fantasy teams.
  • Hecates's HellHounds of the League of Champions league: 6-3 (Slipped again.)
  • Kansas City Chiefs of the Dynasty Orginization League: 4-5 (on a two game win streak which will come to an end because I forgot about the game on Thursday)
  • Runtelldat Homeboys of the Big Easy League: 2-7 (The fat lady is practicing her scales.)
  • The Cromartie Eight of the Football Fist Pump League: 4-5 (Trying to make it to .500.)
  • Matching Mugshots of the Atypical Sports Show League: 2-7 (There are no words.)
Well, last week I didn't fair too badly. I went a sound 9-4, bringing my picks record to 66-48.
Let's see how this week goes.

Detroit Lions at Buffalo Bills: Buffalo

Minnesota Vikings vs. Chicago Bears: Chicago

NY Jets at Cleveland Browns: New York Jets

Tennessee Titans at Miami Dolphins: Tennessee

Cincinnati Bengals at Indianapolis Colts: Indianapolis

Houston Texans at Jacksonville Jaguars: Houston

Carolina Panthers at Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Tampa Bay

Kansas City Chiefs at Denver Broncos: Kansas City

Seattle Seahawks at Arizona Cardinals: Arizona

Dallas Cowboys at NY Giants: New York Giants

St. Louis Rams at San Francisco 49ers: St. Louis Rams

New England Patriots at Pittsburgh Steelers: Pittsburgh

Monday Night Football: Philadelphia Eagles at Washington Redskins: Philadelphia

Until next week, “If you’ll not settle for anything less than your best, you will be amazed at what you can accomplish in your lives.” -Vince Lombardi

Saturday, November 6, 2010

"What in the Wide, Wide World of Sports is a Going on Here?"-Picks from a Maniac Maenad Week 9

It's week 9 in the NFL, and if we thought things were wacky last week, this week, this week right here, was pure insanity. Brett Favre lost a few gray hairs in his chinny-chin-chin and replaced them with 8 stitches after a hit by Patriots defensive tackle Myron Pryor, who was fined $7,500 dollars for that love tap. Favre took a bigger hit when it was learned that the Vikings were gonna cut ties with Randy Moss after just 4 weeks. First, Moss allegedly went all types of crazy bashing a local mom and pop restaurant for having the audacity to give him a free lunch. Second, he allegedly tells ownership that they should fire coach Brad Childress (I agree, but yeah, I wouldn't have gone there as a player.) Third, he allegedly gave up on the play that later cost Brett Favre part of his chin. Then, he went all "I love the New England Patriots" after telling reporters that he would only answer his own questions from now own. He was subsequently released. Hey Randy, if I were you, I would eat at any restaurants anytime soon. Food servers don't forget. I'm always nice to people that handle my food. You guys rock! Randy was later picked up by the Tennessee Titans. Good luck with that Jeff Fisher.

Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre and wide receiver Randy Moss slap hands after a completion against the New England Patriots in the third quarter of their NFL football game in Foxborough, Massachusetts October 31, 2010.    REUTERS/Adam Hunger   (UNITED STATES - Tags: SPORT FOOTBALL)

Randy Moss wasn't the only star to find himself on waivers this week. He was joined by former San Diego Chargers Linebacker Shawne Merriman who had to be released by the San Diego Chargers when he was deemed healthy enough to come off of the minor injury designated IR. He waves goodbye to sunny San Diego for the crispy, cold winds of Buffalo who claimed him off waivers ahead of Miami and Tampa Bay. Shawne, the Bills may be 0-7, but they have some hella good wings in Buffalo! Good luck!!!

HOLLYWOOD - JULY 15: NFL player Shawn Merriman arrives to the 4th Annul Matt Leinart Foundation Celebrity Bowl at Lucky Strike Bowling Alley on July 15, 2010 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images)

Then, there was the scandal that was the benching of Donovan McNabb. I love, Donovan, and I know that his may or may not be a future Hall of Famer, but to be pulled for Rex "I throw to the other team" Grossman, that is...just...crazy as hell. What in blue blazes, come on Shanahan, is that tan leaking into your brain? You say it was because Donovan was "out of shape," but you toss salt in the wound by working out JaMarcus "I've never met a meal I didn't love" Russell. Have you SEEN JaMarcus Russell?

Head Coach Mike Shanahan talks to the team as quarterback Donovan McNabb (RC) looks on after practice at Redskins Park in Ashburn, Virginia, on August 5, 2010.  UPI/Roger L. Wollenberg Photo via Newscom

Two of the biggest games of the week feature teams that no one, and I mean, NO ONE would have seen at the top of their divisions. The resurgent Tampa Bay Buccaneers (5-2) are traveling to Atlanta take on division rivals the Falcons (5-2). Many, including me, picked the Falcons to be at the top, but to be tied with Tampa Bay? I don't think many saw that one coming. Then, the Kansas City Chiefs (5-2) are traveling to the Black Hole to take on the Oakland Raiders (4-4). Even I didn't see my Chiefs on top of the AFC West, nor did I see Oakland right behind them. Exactly what is going on in San Diego and Denver (what's going wrong lil hoodie?)?

Nov 15, 2009; Oakland, CA, USA; Kansas City Chiefs center Rudy Niswanger (64) snaps the ball at the line of scrimmage against Oakland Raiders defensive tackle Tommy Kelly (93) at the Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum. The Chiefs defeated the Raiders 16-10. Photo via Newscom ATLANTA - DECEMBER 14:  Center Todd McClure #62 of the Atlanta Falcons lines up against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers  at the Georgia Dome on December 14, 2008 in Atlanta, Georgia.  (Photo by Al Messerschmidt/Getty Images)

This just in: Anthony Gonzalez of the Indianapolis Colts has been put on IR. In other news, water is wet, and the sky is blue.

Last week, I went 4-1 with my fantasy teams. I was so happy...I almost cried...almost...
  • Hecates's HellHounds of the League of Champions league: 6-2 (Two wins in a row)
  • Kansas City Chiefs of the Dynasty Orginization League: 3-5 (finally picked up another win)
  • Runtelldat Homeboys of the Big Easy League: 2-6 (The fat lady is warming up.)
  • The Cromartie Eight of the Football Fist Pump League: 3-5 (They fall down go boom.)
  • Matching Mugshots of the Atypical Sports Show League: 2-6 (Shockingly, they won.)
I went 8-5 last week which brings my record to 57-44. So, here are my week eight picks:

Chicago Bears @ Buffalo Bills: Chicago

San Diego Chargers @ Houston Texans: San Diego

New Orleans Saints @ Carolina Panthers: New Orleans

Arizona Cardinals @ Minnesota Vikings: Arizona

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Atlanta Falcons: Atlanta

New York Jets @ Detroit Lions: New York Jets

Miami Dolphins @ Baltimore Ravens: Baltimore

New England Patriots @ Cleveland Browns: New England

New York Giants @ Seattle Seahawks: New York Giants

Kansas City Chiefs @ Oakland Raiders: Kansas City

Indianapolis Colts @ Philadelphia Eagles: Indianapolis

Dallas Cowboys @ Green Bay Packers: Green Bay

Monday Night Football: Pittsburgh Steelers @ Cincinnati Bengals: Pittsburgh

Until next week, "What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?"~Ursula K. Le Guin

Predictions that Went Horribly, Horribly Wrong

What's up, everybody!!! I don't know about everybody else, but I'm just about ready to put that bird in the oven, mash those potatoes, and throw that gravy in the boat, and celebrate Thanksgiving-the day we are thankful for all we have received through the year and celebrate with gluttony and football. But, before we get to the turkey, it is the time of the year when DianaDishes likes to look back and recall the predictions we made at the beginning of the football season. Trust me, my predictions are about as competent as the person who thought it was a good idea to give Sarah Palin a reality show...Clearly, not that smart.

Let's start in the AFC East. These were my picks back in September:
  1. New York Jets
  2. New England Patriots
  3. Miami Dolphins
  4. Buffalo Bills
I didn't do to bad a job picking the East. Currently, the Patriots (6-1) are in first followed by the Jets (5-2), the Dolphins (3-4), and the Bills (0-7). I didn't think the Bills would be that bad...bad, but not that bad. Even though the Patriots are rolling right now, it is not entirely inconceivable that the Jets can come back and take the East.

New York Jets guard Brandon Moore (65) congratulates wide receiver Braylon Edwards on his 32-yard touchdown pass reception against the Denver Broncos during the second quarter at Invesco Field at Mile High on October 17, 2010 in Denver. The Jets lead the AFC East division.    UPI/Gary C. Caskey Photo via Newscom

AFC South
  1. Indianapolis Colts
  2. Tennessee Titans
  3. Houston Texans
  4. Jacksonville Jaguars
I have to brag a little with the AFC South...Totally, nailed the South, and truly I feel that it will end this way. The Colts (5-2) are in 1st followed by the Titans (5-3), the Texans (4-3), and the Jaguars (4-4). This race will come down to the wire, but I don't think I'm stepping out on a limb to say that Peyton and the Colts will take the South.

INDIANAPOLIS - NOVEMBER 01: Peyton Manning  of Indianapolis Colts gives instructions to his team in the hudlle during the NFL game against the Houston Texans at Lucas Oil Stadium on November 1, 2010 in Indianapolis, Indiana. (Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images)

AFC North
  1. Baltimore Ravens
  2. Cincinnati Bengals
  3. Pittsburgh Steelers
  4. Cleveland Browns
Well, I got two of these right anyway. I figured Baltimore (5-2) would be in first, but I didn't think Pittsburgh (5-2) would be tied at 1st with them. I figured that Cleveland (2-5) would be in last place, but I really, REALLY didn't expect the Bengals (2-5) to be tied in last place with them or that T. O. and Ocho would have a show together...The Bengals and that show are more than an atrocity...Sorry, Marvin Lewis. I'm still holding with Baltimore, but the North will have two teams in the playoffs.

BALTIMORE, MD - OCTOBER 10: Ray Lewis  of the Baltimore Ravens rouses the crowd before a play against the Denver Broncos at M&T Bank Stadium on October 10, 2010 in Baltimore, Maryland. Players wore pink in recognition of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. The Ravens defeated the Broncos 31-17. (Photo by Larry French/Getty Images)

AFC West
  1. San Diego Chargers
  2. Kansas City Chiefs
  3. Denver Broncos
  4. Oakland Raiders
The AFC West has been the biggest surprise of the year, especially for me. I am a die-hard Kansas City Chiefs fan, and I expected improvement adding the rookies Eric Berry, Javier Arenas, and Dexter McCluster, as well as, coordinators Charlie Weis and Romeo Crennel. Seriously though, how many of you would have had the Chiefs (5-2) in first place, the Raiders (4-4) in second, followed by San Diego (3-5) and Denver (2-6). Yeah, me either. I'm not ruling out San Diego making their annual comeback, but I'm riding or dying with my Chiefs. GO CHIEFS!!!

KANSAS CITY, MO - OCTOBER 24: Jamaal Charles  of the Kansas City Chiefs in action during the game against the Jacksonville Jaguars on October 24, 2010 at Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City, Missouri. (Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images) KANSAS CITY, MO - OCTOBER 24: Safety Eric Berry  of the Kansas City Chiefs carries the ball after making an interception during the game against the Jacksonville Jaguars on October 24, 2010 at Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City, Missouri. (Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images) TAMPA, FL - AUGUST 21: Defensive back Javier Arenas  of the Kansas City Chiefs takes the opening kickoff against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers during a preseason game at Raymond James Stadium on August 21, 2010 in Tampa, Florida. (Photo by J. Meric/Getty Images)

The NFC...The NFC is the ugly stepsister to the AFC, and this year has been as wide open as ever.

NFC East
  1. Dallas Cowboys
  2. New York Giants
  3. Washington Redskins
  4. Philadelphia Eagles
See, I should have know that I couldn't trust the Dallas Cowboys. I go and pick the enemy, and they fail...wait a minute, did I jinx them...Bwah-ha-ha-haaaaaa. Anyway, I should have gone with Brother Eli, because the Giants (5-2) are looking down on the Eagles (4-3), the Redskins (4-4), and the Cowboys (1-6). Let's say that again, the Cowboys are 1-6. I am without words. So, I'll say Eli and the Giants will be the one's still standing at the end.

New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning calls offensive signals against the Dallas Cowboys in the first half of their NFL football game in Arlington, Texas October 25, 2010. REUTERS/Mike Stone (UNITED STATES - Tags: SPORT FOOTBALL)

NFC South
  1. Atlanta Falcons
  2. New Orleans Saints
  3. Carolina Panthers
  4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
I chose the Atlanta Falcons, because I didn't, I couldn't, I wouldn't take the Saints to repeat. I thought the Bucs were going to show much improvement, but I didn't expect this. The Falcons (5-2) and the Bucs (5-2) are in first, followed by the Saints (5-3) and the Panthers (1-6). I still think the Falcons will take the South. Yeah, Raheem, I said it.

ATLANTA - OCTOBER 03: Quarterback Matt Ryan  and Tony Gonzalez  of the Atlanta Falcons celebrate after their 16-14 win over the San Francisco 49ers at Georgia Dome on October 3, 2010 in Georgia. (Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)

NFC North
  1. Green Bay Packers
  2. Minnesota Vikings
  3. Chicago Bears
  4. Detroit Lions
Yeah, I thought Minnesota would fall off a bit, but to fall to a tie with the Lions, I didn't see that coming. The Packers (5-3) are in first followed by the Bears (4-3), the Vikings (2-5), and the Lions (2-5). Even with their multiple injuries, I still see the Pack winning the North.

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ - OCTOBER 31: Aaron Rodgers  of the Green Bay Packers throws a pass against the New York Jets on October 31, 2010 at the New Meadowlands Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey.The Packers defeated the Jets 9-0. (Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images)

NFC West
  1. San Francisco 49ers
  2. Arizona Cardinals
  3. Seattle Seahawks
  4. St. Louis Rams
Apparently, I sipped the Mike Singletary Kool-Aid, because I really thought the 49ers were on their way to the top...yeah, not so much. The Seahawks (4-3) have rebound and are now in 1st followed by the Sam Bradford led Rams (4-4), the Cardinals (3-4), and the 49ers (1-6) are in last. I'm going to take a chance and say that the Rams will win the West. Why not?

DETROIT - OCTOBER 10: Sam Bradford  of the St. Louis Rams looks to the sidelines during the fourth quarter of the game against the Detroit Lions at Ford Field on October 10, 2010 in Detroit, Michigan. The Lions defeated the Rams 44-6. (Photo by Leon Halip/Getty Images)

Here were my playoff picks:
AFC Wildcards-New England Patriots, Tennessee Titans
NFC Wildcards-New Orleans Saints, New York Giants

AFC Champions-Baltimore Ravens...I said it...I mean it...It will probably be wrong...but I'm telling you. I feel like this is going to be the Ravens year.

NFC Champions-Green Bay Packers...After much soul searching, I chose Green Bay. I don't know why. I just did. (Saints are making me re-think this right about now.)

Super Bowl XLV Champions-Baltimore Ravens

I think the Giants will win the East, so I'm picking Chicago to be the other wildcard. I'm switching my AFC wildcard to Pittsburgh. I'm going to stick with my AFC Champs and NFC Champs. I am also sticking with Baltimore ultimately winning (watch Pittsburgh or New England mess it up).

I didn't jump ship too badly this time. Maybe my new predictions will turn out better, or maybe there is a short in my crystal ball. Anyway, until next time, "Mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life."~Sophia Loren