Sunday, January 10, 2010

Big Girls Don't Cry

Happy New Year, Everybody! I’m finally back. I went through this I’m absolutely doing nothing during my Christmas vacation. So, I kinda neglected my blog for the last two weeks. Sorry…*blush* So what’s been going on since I’ve been away on vacation. My Chiefs finally beat the Denver Broncos in Denver after Josh “Little Hoodie” McDaniels effectively blew his team up after starting the year 6-0. I’m sorry, I was wishing, hoping, and praying for that to happen. Who sits two of your best players on the bench because they aren’t your best friends? Wow…Little Hoods. Who knew that my lowly Chiefs would have contributed to the demise of the playoff hopes of the Denver Broncos? Muha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaa. Uh-uhm, anyway, the Chiefs began their spring cleaning early and hired Charlie Weis as their new offensive coordinator. I’m not the biggest Charlie Weis fan, and I admit that I made more than one hula hoop joke about his waist-line, but if he can bring respectability back to my Chiefs, I’m willing to eat a little well–seasoned crow. Todd Haley…Jury is still out…Cassell…same for you. I’m watching, waiting, hoping, and praying for you guys. Okay, homerism over. Indianapolis became the one seed in the AFC after creating a ton of controversy by resting their starters, especially when doing so ended their run at an undefeated season. I would have loved to have seen Peyton Manning get that record, it was misery watching his face during that Jets game. That said, he will have to let his 4th MVP trophy and hopefully a Super Bowl Ring easy that agony. The San Diego Chargers are the number two seed (Yay!), and they have been resting their big boys as well, such Vincent Jackson and my personal fave, Shawne Merriman. They are the quietest team with an 11 game win streak. The New England Patriots, Cincinnati Bengals, Baltimore Ravens, and New York Jets rounded out the AFC Playoff picture. So, I had three of the division winners correct (missed with Cincy, had them 3rd). I also picked Baltimore but missed with the Jets. I’m still going with Chargers taking it all. [I started this article on Saturday morning long before the Jets spanked the Bengals, and the Cowboys killed the Eagles. As I am finishing, Baltimore is beating the Patriots, yikes.]
The NFC picture was a little more jumbled. This conference is such a hot mess. You never really know from one year to the next who is gonna come out on top. The New Orleans Saints and Drew Brees have the one seed although they looked awful crappy in their last three games-all loses. Brett Favre and the Vikings finally got their lines on the same page and took the number 2 seed by humiliating the New York Giants. What’s up with the Giants? The Dallas Cowboys (gag), Arizona Cardinals, Philadelphia Eagles, and Green Bay Packers are vying to represent the NFC. As I said earlier, the Cowboys defeated the Eagles last night for the third time this season (Why, Philly, why?). The Pack and the Cards are playing later this afternoon. Like the AFC, I had three of the Division Winners correct. I missed with the New York Giants, and I had Dallas as third. I had the Eagles as a wildcard (correct), but missed with the Atlanta Falcons (Sorry, TG. The upside Falcons had their first back-to-back winning seasons; the downside, you missed the playoffs and ended the year with 999 career receptions and missed the Pro Bowl for the first time in 10 years. Sorry, man…I piled it on a lot. My, bad). I totally missed out with the Giants in the Super Bowl. I will not pick the Cowboys…I hate them. Much to my chagrin, I am going with Minnesota. I will now unclench my teeth before they break.
The Fantasy Football season is over, unless you play the playoff championship with I’m not really interested. I’m a little depressed with the finishes of my teams. I really didn’t want to rehash the craptastic season that I had, but any way here it goes.

The Merry Mad Men

My Merry Mad Men finished the season with an 8-7 record. They finished #1 in the Central Division of the HellRaisers league. The MadMen were one of two of my teams that made the playoffs. We lost in the first round because in my infinite wisdom I thought it was a good idea to replace Tony Gonzalez with Vernon Davis. Well, it wasn’t, and I lost by three points, 98-95 to Ballbusterzzzz who ended up losing in the Championship game to the Bucs. We finished the season 5th in the HellRaisers power rankings. My team MVP was Kurt Warner who brought in a 267 fantasy points to my team.

Hecate’s HellHounds

Hecate’s HellHounds could not survive elimination even with Drew Brees at the helm. They finished the fantasy season with a 6-8 record which was enough for a second place finish in the Central Division of the Heavy Metal Football league. That said, the HellHounds still managed a 5th place finish in the power rankings, even though they did not make it to the playoffs. Satans Children defeated the DoomCrew to win our league Championship. My team MVP was Drew Brees who brought in a massive 348 points to my team (although for naught).

The Crazy 88’s

Like Hecate’s HellHounds, the Crazy 88’s were eliminated from playoff competition as well they should have been. I never really meant to field this team, but hey, I tried to do the best I could with them, which as it turns out was just not enough. The 88’s finished dead last in the West Division of the American Fantasy League with a record of 6-7-1, and last in the power rankings. We had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad season. The Black Sheep defeated the Devil’s rejects to take the league championship. My team MVP was Donovan McNabb and his 261 fantasy points.

Gonzalez menos un Gonzalez

Team Gonzalez menos un Gonzalez was the most unpredictable of all of my fantasy teams. My team even with a 6-7 record finished first in Division 4 of the Natchez League 2009. Thus, surprising everyone, including me, we made the playoffs. The playoffs last two games per round in the ESPN playoffs and to no one’s surprise, the number one team The Beast Unleashed destroyed us 303-106. This defeat qualified GMUG to play the consolation game for third place, which we won 142-70. GMUG finished the season 3rd in the league Woo-Hoo!!!! My team MVP was, surprisingly, Jay Cutler with 216 points.

My fantasy football season, sadly, has come to an end. It has been a rollercoaster ride with more dips than high points. Even though fantasy is over, I’m not going anywhere football season is now year round, and it won’t be long before fantasy rolls around again. Besides, I’ll be giving you my take on the playoffs. So until next week, The reason women don't play football is because eleven of them would never wear the same outfit in public.”~Phyllis Diller. See y’all next week!

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