Monday, September 7, 2009

Hola, Gonzalez y Gonzalez: Bienvenido a Futbol de NFL 2009

"I amar prestar aen…The world is changed. Han mathon ne nen…I feel it in the water. Han mathon ne chae…I feel it in the Earth. A han noston ned gwilith…I smell it in the air." The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings

Do you know what that is? It is football!!! We are now three days away from the kickoff of the 2009 season!!!!! Is it me or does the off-season seem longer? Well, y'all know I'm a fan of Shawne Merriman's; as such, I am reserving judgment until after all the facts have come forward (although you know who I'm rooting for). Any who...I had my last draft of the season last night...The absolute last, I mean it...I have four teams now...I think that is more than enough.

I don't remember my draft order, because I was hanging with my boys last night (I had to use the draft recap). I know all but two guys in this league personally, but I like them, too, because they are so funny. Most of the guys are my former students (shout out to the Class of 2007!). They, however, have been schooling me in fantasy football for the last three years. Last year, I finished 9 out of 20 and 12 out of 12 against them. We had a such great time bashing each other about our choices, that auto pick got me four times last night (I wasn't the only one), but here is my final line up for my ESPN Team Gonzalez y Gonzalez (you'll see why shortly):

1st round: San Diego Chargers Running Back-LaDanian Tomlinson
2nd round: Arizona Cardinals Wide Receiver-Larry Fitzgerald (Got the best WR in the league, Hecks yeah!)
3rd round: Seattle Seahawks Wide Receiver-T. J. Houshmandzadeh (championship! LOL)
4th round: Atlanta Falcons Tight End-Tony Gonzalez (y'all knew that was coming)
5th round: Chicago Bears Quarterback-Jay Cutler (Yea, I know...Normally, wouldn't have drafted crybaby Cutler, whatever...)
6th round: Tennessee Titans Running back-LenDale White (I hope for my sake that his weight loss plan holds out this season.)
7th round: San Diego Chargers Running Back-Darren Sproles (I wasn't thinking...clearly toward the end of this...)
8th round: San Diego Chargers Defense (Don't judge me!!! I'm weak!!! I'm hoping he channels that anger into beating quarterbacks all over the league [Shawne, sack, but please don't kill, maim, or otherwise damage the already fragile group that is the Kansas City Chiefs quarterbacks corps....That said, you have carte blanche to mangle the rest of the league])
9th round: Indianapolis Colts Wide Receiver-Anthony Gonzalez (He will be Peyton's 3rd choice behind Reggie Wayne and Dallas Clark)
10th round: Cincinnati Bengals Running Back-Cedric Benson (yea, I didn't really pick him [I hate Autopick!])
11th round: Cincinnati Bengals Wide Receiver-Lavernaus Coles (I wasn't even aware he was with the Bengals [Autopick])
12th round: Tampa Bay Buccaneers Running Back-Earnest Graham (autopick)
13th round: New York Jets Quarterback-Mark Sanchez (I need someone to back up crybaby.)
14th round: Green Bay Packers Defense (Gonna have to find a new back up d...Forgot that they are off the same week as the Chargers.)
15th round: Tennessee Titans Wide Receiver-Justin Gage (autopick)
16th round: Dallas Cowboys Kicker-Nick Folk (This, too was an autopick, who I immediately dropped because of my strict no Dallas Cowboy policy...don't laugh I have only had one Cowboy on any of my football teams in the last three years...Not anymore...)

Well, this team is not great. Currently, I'm trying to claim a kicker off waivers. I don't really care about the kicker. I'll probably use a different one every other week. Well, I'm going to take a moment to make my picks for the season...I don't give records, because that involves math, and I'm an English major. I know for a fact that the numbers wouldn't add up. I remind you that I have no inside information, because that would require effort, and well, I'm a bit lazy, too. Don't bet on my picks, because I am notoriously inaccurate. We can all look back in February and laugh at my ignorance.

AFC East: 1-New England Patriots, 2-Miami Dolphins, 3-New York Jets, 4-Buffalo Bills
AFC South: 1-Indianapolis Colts, 2-Jacksonville Jaguars, 3-Tennessee Titans, 4-Houston Texans
AFC North: 1-Pittsburgh Steelers, 2-Baltimore Ravens, 3-Cincinnati Bengals, 4-Cleveland Browns
AFC West: 1-San Diego Chargers, 2-Kansas City Chiefs, 3-Denver Broncos, 4-Oakland Raiders
(This is wishful thinking on my part-honestly the Chiefs, Broncos, and Raiders are interchangeable. It wouldn't surprise me if they were all tied at the end of the year. Let's face it, none of them will even sniff the playoff unless they buy tickets.)

Wildcards: Baltimore, Jacksonville
AFC Championship Game: San Diego v. New England
AFC Champs-San Diego (I got a feeling)

NFC East: 1-New York Giants, 2-Philadelphia Eagles, 3-Dallas Cowboys, 4-Washington Redskins
NFC South: 1-New Orleans Saints, 2-Atlanta Falcons, 3-Carolina Panthers , 4-Tampa Bay Buccaneers
NFC North: 1-Minnesota Vikings, 2-Green Bay Packers, 3-Chicago Bears, 4-Detroit Lions
NFC West: 1-Arizona Cardinals, 2-Seattle Seahawks, 3-San Francisco 49ers, 4-St. Louis Rams
(I really think that any team can make it out of the NFC; it's always a crap shoot. The south is anybody's game actually.)

Wildcards: Philadelphia Eagles, Atlanta Falcons
NFC Championship Game: New York v. Minnesota
NFC Champs-New York Giants

Super Bowl XLIV-New York Giants v. San Diego Chargers (To settle once and for all who got the better deal out of the Manning trade.) DRUM ROLL, PLEASE...................

Super Bowl Champions-San Diego Chargers

That's right...Representing the AFC West (the saddest division in the league), I think that if the Chargers are going to win a Super Bowl it has to be while they still have this core of players intact. Well, that it ladies and gents...Before I sign off let me remind you in the words of the Doug Plank: “Most football teams are temperamental. That's 90% temper and 10% mental.”

Now, let there be Football!!!!!!!!!!

Go, Chiefs!!!!!!!

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