Sunday, December 20, 2009

I put all of my Rotten Eggs in One Basket. The Beast Unleashed just blew up the Basket.

Welcome back, and hey howdy, y’all. Week Fourteen of the Fantasy Football season has ended, and the Fantasy Playoffs are officially underway. First and foremost, I would like to send my condolences to the family of Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry who passed away last Thursday at the age of 26. He seemed to be finally getting his life back on track, and it’s sad that his life had to end so tragically. My prayers are especially with those three young children who have to grow up without a father. RIP Chris Henry…may you find the peace that eluded you in life.
Let’s take a look back on the NFL week that was…They New Orleans Saints pulled out a victory against the Atlanta Falcons.
The Dallas Cowboys were spanked in Jerryworld by the San Diego Chargers (I loved every minute of it.) Then, last night in New Orleans, the Cowboys ended the Saints undefeated streak and eliminated the Falcons in one fell swoop. One more reason, I hate the Cowboys. Peyton and the Colts beat “Little Hoodie” and the Broncos, before becoming the first team to 14-0 this year against the Jacksonville Jaguars. Lord Favre and the Vikings rolled over the Cincinnati Bengals, as the Vikes try to secure that #2 seed in the NFC. Kansas City tried to give Buffalo a game, before losing 16-10. Then, the Chiefs received news that they would be blacked out for the first time in 19 years. 19 years…What were you doing 19 years ago? (I was in the eleventh grade, and future HOF tight end Tony Gonzalez was in the ninth grade.) The year was 1990. The #1 movie-Home Alone, and the #1 song-“Nothing compare 2 U” by Sinead O'Connor Back to the action…Tampa Bay, Detroit, St. Louis, and Oakland were all blown out, a surprise to absolutely no one. Mike Holmgren and Mike Shanahan are both working on deals that would land them in Cleveland and Washington, respectively. Randy Moss was accused of quitting on the Patriots, but was defended by the Hoodie and Tom Brady (who appeared at the post game press conference looking like a member of Hans Gruber’s crew). Kurt Warner and Arizona limped their way through a loss to San Francisco. Mike Tomlin referenced Jim Mora’s famous playoff speech when asked if the Steelers were going to go to the playoffs. Philadelphia and New York played a classic as the Eagles defeated the Giants. Prior to Chris Henry’s death, the news about the Bengals and Chargers was the little dust up between Cincy’s Chad Ochocinco and San Diego’s Shawne Merriman. Earlier in the week, Chad stated that he wanted to “beat Shawne’s head in.” I love following both these guys on Twitter. The initial brouhaha was hilarious. Sadly, Chad, I’m afraid the Bengals are going to lose this battle, and the Chargers are going to take that #2. Well, the fantasy playoffs are on…for some of my teams.

The Merry Mad Men (8-6) v. Ben Gal

The Merry MadMen finished first in their division and are guaranteed at least a fourth place finish in the Hell Raisers League. My Merry Mad Men finished the season against Ben Gal. I lined up the following team: QB-Kurt Warner, RBs-LaDainian Tomlinson and Ricky Williams, WR-Donald Driver, Santonio Holmes, Reggie Wayne, TE-Tony Gonzalez, K-Nate Keading, DST-San Diego Chargers.

The MadMen hardly played. It was like we took a Colts break. I only had two players in double digits LaDainian Tomlinson and Ricky Williams. My Player of the Week was Ricky Williams, who even with a poor game brought in 14 points. The Merry Madmen ended the regular season with a loss to Ben Gal (thanks for nothing Kurt Warner) 58-67.

Hecate’s HellHounds (6-8) v. crazyeights

The HellHounds were supposed to be my best team. With Drew Brees how could we lose right? Wrong. The Hell Hounds finished the season with a 6-8 record, tied for second place in the division, and eliminated from the playoffs. I guess, the HellHounds and the Falcons have something else in common. Tony Gonzalez and no playoff hopes. Sorry T. G. maybe next year. SMH…Oh, well… The team finally ran out of gas at the finish last with this starting lineup: QB-Drew Brees, RBs-Ryan Grant and Ricky Williams, WRs-Nate Burleson, Santonio Holmes, Donald Driver, TE-Tony Gonzalez, K-Olindo Mare, DST-San Diego Chargers. My Player of the Week was, of course, Drew Brees with 29 points. Ryan Grant had a great showing as well with 25 points. The HellHounds went down swinging as we took the crazyeights 94-61.

The Crazy 88’s (6-7-1) v. Black Sheep

The Crazy 88’s was the team that I accidentally signed up for earlier this year. Like their name sakes (Tony Gonzalez and the O-Ren Ishii gang), they were taken out of the game early and easily eliminated from the playoffs. We finished last place in our division. The team that beat us is currently in the playoffs, so I don’t feel that bad about it. Before we hooked up the U-Hauls, I started QB-Donovan McNabb, RBs-Julius Jones and LDT, WRs-Donald Driver, Reggie Wayne, Mike Wallace, TE-Tony Gonzalez, K-Dan Carpenter, DST-San Diego Chargers. Donovan McNabb was my Player of the Week with 23 points. Blah-blah-blah, They lost to Black Sheep by a score (ironically) of 88-55.

Gonzalez menos un Gonzalez (6-7) v. The Beast Unleashed

Team Gonzalez menos un Gonzalez began its playoff run last week. Yeah, I know, but they were the best of our sucky division. I finished the season in first. I went up against the Beast Unleashed. Clearly, Taylor knew what he was talking about when he named his team. This was my line-up: QB-Jay Cutler, RB-LDT and Cedric Benson, WR-T. J. Houshmandzadeh, Mike Wallace, and Larry Fitzgerald, TE-Tony Gonzalez, K-Dan Carpenter, DST-San Diego Chargers. This is who Taylor lined up: Donovan McNabb (19 pts), Chris Johnson (35 pts), Thomas Jones (21 pts), Ray Rice (25 pts), Andre Johnson (31 pts), Fred Davis (17 pts), Vincent Jackson (12 pts), Ryan Longwell (14 pts), and the Eagles D/ST (16 pts). This is a two week playoff game…Normally, that would be great except no player on his team had single digits. Jay Cutler was my Player of the Week with 12 points. The Beast Unleashed ripped GMUG apart 190-48. I don’t see that changing much this week.

Well, that’s all I’ve got guys. We wave goodbye to The Crazy 88’s and Hecate’s HellHounds. Good Luck to you guys during the playoffs. Until next week, kids… I’d like to leave you with this from Coach Joe Paterno, “Losing a game is heartbreaking. Losing your sense of excellence or worth is a tragedy.” Good luck guys, and see you next week.

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