Saturday, November 27, 2010

Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Date Woo Girls-Picks from a Maniac Maenad Week 12

Welcome dinner has been served, the sales have been shopped, and we are officially at the start of the Christmas season, which means sadly the NFL season is winding down. Teams are beginning to look at what they can salvage of their season or who they can pick up during the draft. Thanksgiving started off with a spark in the early game between the Patriots and the Lions, but Tom Brady quickly doused the Lions hopes putting a 45-24 smackdown on the Lions. That was the appetizer, for dinner, the NFL offered up the New Orleans Saints and the Dallas Cowboys. The Saints were initially smacking around the Cowboys, until the Cowboys had a lift in spirit in the 3rd quarter. Alas, however, it was not meant to be of Jerry and his boys. After a Roy Williams turnover, Drew Brees remembered, "Hey, I'm Drew Brees." Thus, concludes the season for the Cowboys falling at the hands of the Saints 30-27. The dessert that most of us were too stuff to enjoy found the bumbling Bengals taking on the New York Jets. Earlier in the week, Bengals WR Terrell Owens called Darrelle Revis an "average" cornerback. Then, TO proceeded to be stranded on Revis Island as the Jets spanked the Bengals 26-10. Surprisingly, I went 3 for 3 on Thanksgiving...Not really, we all expected the winners to win.

New York Jets Darrelle Revis plays defense on Cincinnati Bengals Terrell Owens in the second quarter in week 12 of the NFL season at New Meadowlands Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey on November 25, 2010. The Jets defeated the Bengals 26-10.  UPI /John Angelillo Photo via Newscom

In other news, earlier today one of my favorites Shawne Merriman's career as a Buffalo Bill came to an end without his ever playing one single down. Was I surprised? No, not really, but I'm a little saddened. I really wanted to see him make the most of this opportunity. So, Shawne take the next few weeks and evaluate things. If a good team offers you the minimum next year, take it. Participate in all of the off season programs without question. Limit your time in Hollywood, limit your time in front of the camera, and get yourself healed. Hopefully, you can get a full year next season, if we have football next season. BTW, go to Dr. Andrews...I'm just saying...Good luck!!!!

TORONTO, ON - NOVEMBER 07: Shawne Merriman of the Buffalo Bills stands on the field prior to play against the Chicago Bears at Rogers Centre on November 7, 2010 in Toronto, Canada. Merriman was claimed this week after being waived by the San Diego Chargers. (Photo by Rick Stewart/Getty Images)

Speaking of Shawne, his former team the Chargers are taking on Peyton and the Colts this Sunday night. Have developed quite a rivalry over the last few years. As you know, this game use to mean a lot to me. Now, not so much. I'll still be watching because the games are always exciting, but mostly because I need Philip Rivers and the Charger D to perform well, and for Peyton to actually get the ball to Garcon this week.

FOXBORO, MA - NOVERMBER 21: Peyton Manning  of the Indianapolis Colts throws against the New England Patriots at Gillette Stadium on November 21, 2010 in Foxboro, Massachusetts. (Photo by Jim Rogash/Getty Images) San Diego Chargers quarterback Philip Rivers (17) passes in the first half against the Tennessee Titans during their NFL football game in San Diego, California October 31, 2010.   REUTERS/Mike Blake (UNITED STATES - Tags: SPORT FOOTBALL)

Little Hoodie, Josh McDaniels took his hero worship of Bill Belichick to a whole new level today. It wasn't enough to take on Belichick's wardrobe, oh no...He has to follow Bill to spygate land. Really, Joshie? Now, I don't feel so bad that Todd Haley was rude to you after your win over the Chiefs. Denver was caught videotaping the 49ers practices. The 49ers...really...the 49ers? Not, the Pats, not the Colts, the 49ers...are you looking for tips on how to lose? And you used the same dude, who was caught with Belichick. Bravo, little Hoodie, Bravo. Mr. Goddell would like your $50,000 check now.

DENVER - NOVEMBER 14: Head coach Todd Haley of the Kansas City Chiefs has some unwelcome words with head coach Josh McDaniels of the Denver Broncos as he refuses to shake his hand after the Broncos 49-29 win at INVESCO Field at Mile High on November 14, 2010 in Denver, Colorado. The Denver Broncos defeated the Kansas City Chiefs 49-29. (Photo by Justin Edmonds/Getty Images)

Then, there are the Will, not the Hollywood Will Smiths who whipped Willow and her hair into our lives...

OSLO, NORWAY - DECEMBER 11: Hosts Jade Pinkett Smith (2nd L) and Will Smith with children Jaden Smith (L) and Willow  Smith (R) onstage during the Nobel Peace Prize Concert at Oslo Spektrum on December 11, 2009 in Oslo, Norway.   (Photo by Sandy Young/Getty Images for Nobel Peace Prize)

No, no, I'm talking the Will Smiths of New Orleans Saints fame who posed happily and wished every one a Happy Thanksgiving during the game on Thursday. Well, early this morning, they had a rather heated arguement outside of Lafayette night club, and Will Smith apparently dragged his wife Racquel Joseph Smith by her hair down the street. Uhm, are 6'3" and weight 282 pounds, and you felt the need to drag your wife down the street? Dude, really? You go full Fred Flinstone on your wife? C'mon, man...You are both over 25, you are married, and you have 2 kids, why in the name of all things sane are you still clubbing? At 2 am? Both of you need to take a long look in the mirror...and by the way...grow up...

Feb 2, 2010; Miami, FL, USA; New Orleans Saints defensive end Will Smith at Super Bowl XLIV media day at Sun Life Stadium.

Now, I don't really know Will Smith's wife, nor do I want to...I do hope she is okay. Gentleman, there has been an influx of woo girl relationships in the NFL. You know the girls. They wear too much makeup, they are too loud, they drink too much, they wear their clothes too tight (or very little), they dance too closely to both men and women, and of course they "woo." These party girls are not going to be content to be a Mrs. They want the money and the name, but a quiet home life, not so much (see Kendra Wilkinson-Baskett). As a matter of fact, your money just increases their ability to woo at better clubs and parties. There are the professional woo girls, the Kardashians, Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan, Kendra, Tila Tequila, and then, there are the around the way woo girls, the ghetto fabulous clique, and the "sorority" woo girls, your typical girls gone wild girl. If you want a good time, hang out with the woo girls, if you want a wife...avoid at all costs. I'm just saying...and saving you a trip to a lawyer's office or bail bondsman.

Well, the fantasy teams were 2 for 5 last week. All but one are pretty much done tom turkeys.
  • Hecates's HellHounds of the League of Champions league: 7-4 (Finally, back on the winning side.)
  • Kansas City Chiefs of the Dynasty Orginization League: 5-6 (three game win streak over)
  • Runtelldat Homeboys of the Big Easy League: 2-9 (Miss Franklin, we were wondering if you are feeling well enough to sing a dirge for the Runtelldat Homeboys.)
  • The Cromartie Eight of the Football Fist Pump League: 5-6 (Back below the median)
  • Matching Mugshots of the Atypical Sports Show League: 3-8 (See Runtelldat Homeboys, win changes nothing.)
Last week, I had one of my best pick weeks going 10-5 bringing my record to 82-60.

Tennessee Titans @ Houston Texans: Houston

Carolina Panthers @ Cleveland Browns: Cleveland

Green Bay Packers @ Atlanta Falcons: Atlanta

Jacksonville Jaguars @ New York Giants: New York Giants

Minnesota Vikings @ Washington Redskins: Washington

Pittsburgh Steelers @ Buffalo Bills: Pittsburgh

Kansas City Chiefs @ Seattle Seahawks: Kansas City

Philadelphia Eagles @ Chicago Bears: Philadelphia

Miami Dolphins @ Oakland Raiders: Miami

St. Louis Rams @ Denver Broncos: St. Louis

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Baltimore Ravens: Baltimore

San Diego Chargers @ Indianapolis Colts: San Diego

In the "Man, I can't believe this is the Monday Night Football Game"-San Francisco 49ers @ Arizona Cardinals: Arizona

So, until next week,"Dear NFL, don't have a lockout...It will suck for all of the fans. Keep in mind what it did for Baseball. Do you really want to mess with a good thing?" XOXO, Diana

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