Sunday, December 6, 2009

It’s a Believable Story…Y’all saw Hancock, Right?

Welcome back, everybody! Week Twelve of the fantasy football season has come and gone, and it left my team with about as much love as a Thanksgiving turkey after dinner. So, what’s been happening? We digress for a moment to talk about an athlete not an NFL player getting in trouble. What’s up with Tiger Woods y’all? Who knew he was a playa? I’m sorry, player. Wow, Eldrick… Big ups on the story about the back windows of the vehicles, it is really believable. No, really, we believe you. *wink* Now, I don’t condone Tiger’s actions, but seriously was anyone really shocked? Okay, we were shocked temporarily, because he billed himself as “Mr. Perfect.” After words, it was more, eh… Back to football. The New Orleans Saints laid a smackdown on The Hoodie and the New England Patriots. Tom Brady looked as if he were ready to cry, and The Hoodie looked perplexed…He still looked perplexed two days later. Drew Brees and Darren Sharper and all those people who catch the ball from Drew Brees are showing that the Saints are leaving their “Ain’ts” history behind. Peyton Manning pulled out another victory against the Houston Texans who appear to be writing a book on how to lose the Indianapolis Colts. This makes five comeback victories in a row for Peyton. The Minnesota Vikings had two players cited for speeding off the field this week, Bernard Berrian and Adrian Peterson, clearly they thought they were still on the field as they and Lord Favre walked all over the Chicago Bears last week. Hines Ward questioned Big Ben’s head after the Steelers dropped their third game in a row as the Ravens defeated the Steelers with young Dennis Dixon at the helm. Tennessee made it five wins in a row with Vince Young returning to the pocket. The San Diego Chargers introduced their 50th anniversary team and then proceeded to introduce my Kansas City Chiefs to a world of hurt with a 43-14 victory. Larry Johnson then add insult to injury by running for 107 yards in Cedric Benson’s absence in Cincinnati’s victory against Cleveland. The Bengals have swept the NFC North. Now, who saw that coming? The Sanchize injured himself Thursday night against the Bills, and Rex Ryan called him a knuckle head. Tony Gonzalez and the Falcons pulled out a victory after losing Matt Ryan and Michael Turner. Washington, St. Louis, Carolina, and Jacksonville lost…Nothing to see there.

Now, for my weekly Shawne Merriman statement. Rest up, big man. You don’t really have to play against Cleveland. They will find a way to lose. I need you well rested for December 20th and Christmas Day. Why you ask? I need to see the match against Cincinnati and OchoCinco. Christmas Day, it will be payback against the Titans who injured your knee. (That’s right Mawae, I haven’t forgotten). Now, San Diego fans, get off his back. I had a similar injury in my arm. Spent a week in a sling, and a month in physical therapy. He tried to play last week; he couldn’t. Yes, Eli played with the same injury, and they lost to Denver. I hope he leaves (Kansas City or San Francisco?). Ingrates. Be careful what you complain about, just ask the Chiefs how they would love to have Jared Allen, Scott Fujita, and Tony Gonzalez back. I’d rather have a 50% Merriman than what we have half the time. I saw that game last week. Wasn’t pretty. Sigh…I guess I’ll talk about what happened to my fantasy team last week…

This past week my fantasy teams went 1-3. Whatever…

The Merry Mad Men (7-5) v. the Last Cowboy

My Merry Mad Men took on The Last Cowboy of the Hell Raisers League. I played the following team: QB-Matt Hasselbeck, RBs-LaDainian Tomlinson and Ricky Williams, WR-Donald Driver, Mike Wallace, Reggie Wayne, TE-Tony Gonzalez, K-Nate Keading, DST-San Diego Chargers.

My MadMen fell off considerably last week without Kurt Warner steering the helm. Kurt was hurt (hey that rhymed), so I started Matt Hasselbeck, whose 5 points weren’t much better than the inactive Warner. LDT and Ricky Williams both turn in okay performances. TG had 8 points even without his starting QB. My receivers are killing me with these single digit performances. My Player of the Week is the Chargers D/ST who ran up 23 points against my Kansas City Chiefs. *Sigh* It didn’t help as the Last Cowboy lassoed the MadMen 121-104.

Hecate’s HellHounds (5-7) v. Tim Grim Reapers 2

Well the HellHounds will definitely be cleaning out their lockers this week. The Playoffs are history for this team. This victory was too little, too late. Playoff hopes are gone with the wind. My starting lineup: QB-Drew Brees, RBs-Ryan Grant and Ricky Williams, WRs-Nate Burleson, Mike Wallace, Donald Driver, TE-Tony Gonzalez, K-Olindo Mare, DST-San Diego Chargers. This game showed all the hope that I had for this team when the season began. There was all kinds of points springing up for this team. Even the bench had 66 points. My Player of the Week was, of course, Drew Brees with 44 points. The HellHounds are going down swinging taking out Tim Grim Reapers 2, 133-57.

The Crazy 88’s (6-6) v. Jawbreaker

Turn out the lights; the party’s over for the 88’s who are tied for last place in our division. SMH… I started QB-Donovan McNabb, RBs-Mewelde Moore and LDT, WRs-Donald Driver, Reggie Wayne, Mike Wallace, TE-Tony Gonzalez, K-Dan Carpenter, DST-San Diego Chargers. Blah-blah-blah, They lost. The San Diego Chargers D/ST was my player of the week with 23 points. The Crazy 88’s fall (again) to Jawbreaker 106-89.

Gonzalez menos un Gonzalez (5-7) v. Big Fat Ugly Dudes

Team Gonzalez menos un Gonzalez was on the ropes. Now, we have gone down like Oscar de la Hoya against Manny Paquiao. I lined-up with: QB-Mark “But, I’m a rookie” Sanchez, RB-LDT, and Mike Bell, WR-T. J. Houshmandzadeh, Mike Wallace, and Larry Fitzgerald, TE-Tony Gonzalez, K-Dan Carpenter, DST-San Diego Chargers. The Chargers D/ST was my player of the week with 18 points. The Big Fat Ugly Dudes sat on the GMG and destroyed my playoff hopes with a final score of 81-56.

A brief moment...

I would like to take this moment to congratulate one of my all-time favorite players, Derrick Thomas. Derrick Thomas was the reason I became a Kansas City Chiefs fan. I loved watching him fly around the field and taking down quarterbacks. His 7 sacks in a game is record that stands to this day, and one many think will never be broken. When Derrick Thomas died, Chiefs fans lost more than a player. I actually stopped watching for two years after his death. It just wasn't the same. Thomas spent his entire career in a Kansas City Chiefs uniform. This past August, DT was finally inducted into the NFL Hall of Fame. Today, December 6, 2009, the Kansas City Chiefs will retire his number 58. It feels good to know that no one will ever wear his number 58 as a Chief again. There will never be another that could fill those cleats. Thank you, #58. RIP Derrick Thomas (1967-2000)...

Well, that’s all I’ve got guys. This week is the final week of the fantasy football season. Playoffs begin next week. Good Luck to you guys during week 13. Until next week, kids… I’d like to leave you with this from Herman Edward, “I wish we could have made more of a game of it, but it wasn't. They took us behind the woodshed and whupped us.” Have a good fantasy week, y’all…

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