Saturday, September 11, 2010

Picks from a Maniac Maenad-Week 1

Happy First Football Sunday of the Season! It's been a busy week in the NFL. In their first game in defense of their Super Bowl championship, the New Orleans Sainst open the season with a win against the against a petulant Brett Favre (congratulations on the Baptism of your grandchild Paw-Paw Brett.). Vernon Davis became the highest paid TE in the league. Tom Brady had a car accident. His car was totaled, but his hair came out perfect. Reggie Bush all but washed his hands of the Heisman Trophy, while Tony Dungy thought he should give it back.

NEW ORLEANS - SEPTEMBER 09: Harry Connick Jr. leads a float out onto the field which carried the Vince Lombardi Super Bowl Trophy which was won last year by the New Orleans Saints prior to the Saints playing against the Minnesota Vikings at Louisiana Superdome on September 9, 2010 in New Orleans, Louisiana. Also on the float is Saints team owner Tom Benson, his wife Gayle and his daughter, Executive Vice President Rita Benson Leblanc. (Photo by Chris Graythen/Getty Images)

Shawne Merriman has an achilles injury which may keep him out of the Monday Night Game against the Chiefs. Antonio "I forget how many kids I have" Cromartie declared that the Jets are "The Miami Heat of football," while Ray Lewis debuted his Old Spice Swagger commercial (just wow on that commercial), and told the Jets that their coach was writing a check that they were going to have to cash, to which Bart Scott added, "I heard that (Lewis) said something but I could care less what he said,” said Scott. “That’s what he does. Whatever. That’s just part of the show. I could care less.”

ST. LOUIS - SEPTEMBER 2: Ray Lewis  of the Baltimore Ravens yells to his teammates against the St. Louis Rams during an NFL preseason game at the Edward Jones Dome on September 2, 2010 in St. Louis, Missouri. The Rams beat the Ravens 27-21. (Photo by Dilip Vishwanat/Getty Images)

Commentators criticized the players for showin solidarity during the opening game. Prognosticators around the league started dropping their predictions for teams going to the Super Bowl. Did I miss any thing? Oh, yeah, Darnell Dockett tweeted that only ex-NFL players should be making predictions. Darnell, you shouldn't be tweeting half-naked pictures of yourself, and since you told me I shouldn't, I'm going to do it anyway.

I haven't made picks in two years, when I use to have a sad little blog on MySpace (My how times have changed). Sooooooo, here goes nothing...

Oakland at Tennessee. Vince Young is back at the reins as the Titans starting quarterback, while Jason Campbell is steering the hooptie known as the Oakland Raiders. I'm taking Tennessee.

Carolina at New York. The Christening of new Meadowlands stadium. Eli and his scar taking on the Steve Smith, his scar, and his quarterback Matt Moore. Taking Eli and the G-Men.

Indianapolis at Houston. Peyton and the boys are headed to the Lone Star state to take on Matt Shaub and the Texans. The Texans can't seem to win againts the Colts, even when they have a 17 point lead in the 4th quarter. I don't see that changing today, taking the Colts.

Denver at Jacksonville. The little hoodie and the Broncs head down to Jacksonville so a sell out crowd can pout that Tim Tebow is not on their sideline. Kyle Orton is still pondering why the coach is the only one that realizes that he is the starting quarterback. David Garrard is wondering where did it all go so wrong, and Maurice Jones-Drew keeps running and running and running. Although it sickens me to say it, Denver over Jacksonville.

Atlanta at Pittsburgh. Matt Ryan, Tony Gonzalez, and the Falcons make the trek up to Heinz field to take on the Ben Roethlisberger-less Steelers under the direction of Dennis Dixon. With his first catch, Tony Gonzalez will become the first Tight End to join the 1000 catch club. Troy Polamalu and his hair are back on the field today once again making that D very potent, but I'm taking the Falcons.

Miami at Buffalo. Boy, I'm glad I won't be watching this game. Dolphins win. That's all I got.

Detroit at Chicago. The Bears have got a lot to prove this year. They added Julius Peppers, and they still have that petulant crybaby Jay Culter, who for someone who hasn't won a dang thing thinks he's God's gift to football. Lovie...good luck. Today is the debut of Ndamukong Suh (please slam Cutler for me!), and Matt Stafford begins his sophomore year as the starting QB. Taking the Bears.

Cincinnati at New England. Ochocinco and TO take their bromance to Foxborough to take on Tom Brady, his new contract, Randy Moss, his petulant ego, and the New England Patriots. Even though Cincinnati has one of the best Defenses in the league, I'm still going with the Patriots.

Cleveland at Tampa Bay. See Dolphins/Bills. Tampa Bay.

San Francisco at Seattle. Mike Singletary has whipped the 49ers into a team that is beginning to resemble the glory days in San Francisco. The NFL West is ripe for the picking with Kurt Warner retiring to become the next dancer on DWTS. Seattle debuts their new head coach Pete "I didn't do it" Carroll and their old, fragile quarterback Matt Hasselbeck. 49ers...

Green Bay at Philadelphia. Aaron "Yes, I am that Quarterback" Rodgers and the Pack are headed to Philly to take on Kevin Kolb, DeSean "I should quit Twitter" Jackson, and the new-fangled Eagles. Aaron and the Pack.

Arizona at St. Louis. The Cards debut their new quarterback Derek Anderson against the Rams and their new quarterback Sam Bradford. *flipping a coin* Cardinals.

Dallas at Washington. Tony Romo and Cowboys are headed to the most hostile territory for a Cowboy-FedEx Field to take on Donovan McNabb, Mike "The Tan" Shanahan and the Redskins. Hoping Albert Haynesworth is going to put on his big boy pants and show rather than tell everybody how "good" he is. I trying not to throw up as I pick the Cowboys.


Baltimore at New York. The trash talking has been back and forth all week for this game. Rex and his boys get to play in their brand new stadium, and Ray Lewis intends to shut their mouths. I'm taking the Ravens.

Baltimore Ravens #33 Eric Smith break through the Jets' defensive line during a pre-season game between the Baltimore Ravens and the New York Jets at M & T Bank Stadium in Baltimore on Monday, August 24, 2009. UPI/Greg Whitesell Photo via Newscom

San Diego Chargers at Kansas City Chiefs. My boys are debuting New Arrowhead on Monday Night Football for the first time since 2004. The Chargers are a bit in disarray, but they still have Philip Rivers tossing the ball. I'm dancing out on thin limb here and picking...The Kansas City Chiefs.

KANSAS CITY, MO - OCTOBER 25:  Running back Jamaal Charles #25 of the Kansas City Chiefs is tackled by Tim Dobbins # 51 and Shawne Merriman #56 of the San Diego Chargers during the game on October 25, 2009 at Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City, Missouri.  (Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images)

That's it. Until next week, "The truth is you don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed."-Eminem

I don't know about you, but I'm ready for some football!!!!!!!!!!

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