Saturday, March 27, 2010

The Gatsby Complex, Part One: The Lost Generation

Hey guys! How you doing? Well, last week was Spring Break, and I spent it doing my real job-grading papers. Anyway during that break time, I watched a lot of sports shows, of course, but I also, started re-reading one of my favorite books of all time. I’ve been at a loss as to what to with my blog for the last few weeks. Football season is over, my fantasy baseball team won’t be up and running for a minute, and I’m about as interested in the draft as JaMarcus Russell is in his attempt resemble a real quarterback. So, I’ve decided to do a series.

Every year, I roll out the literary canon. You know the literature teachers think you should read, but you don’t want to, and most of us didn’t. The first question that every student asks regardless of the work is “Why do we have to read this?” followed by “This happened so long ago, it doesn’t matter today.” As I pondered these questions, I remembered that I too had asked the same questions when I was in their shoes. As I listened to the stories about Tiger Woods, Jesse James, and Ben Roethlisberger, I find that two of the novels that I teach should be placed in the swag bag of every rookie in all the major sports, every aspiring diva, and every future thespian. The first book is F. Scott Fitzgerald’s
The Great Gatsby; I’ll discuss the other at a later date. Pens and paper, boys and girls, it’s time to take notes; there may be a quiz later.

Literary Inspiration

For those who have never read
The Great Gatsby, I’ll give you a few details. It was written by F. Scott Fitzgerald who lived a life similar to Gatsby’s during the 1920’s. He lived the American Dream, married a beautiful socialite, lived hard and died of a heart attack at age 44. The characters in The Great Gatsby are loosely based on people he personally knew, including his wife and himself, as well as, acquaintances they met in their travels throughout the continental United States and Europe. The novel takes place in New York City in the summer of 1922 during the Jazz Age. Prohibition was in full effect; gangsters were everywhere; and hedonism ruled America. The narrator, Nick Carraway moves to New York to become a bonds salesman. During this summer, he becomes drawn into the lives of his cousin Daisy Buchanan, her husband Tom, Daisy’s friend Jordan Baker, Tom’s mistress Myrtle Wilson, and of course Jay Gatsby, the for whom the novel is named. So, you are now thinking to yourself…what does this have to do with sports and/or entertainment? Indulge me a little longer, and you will see.
Writer Gertrude Stein labeled F. Scott Fitzgerald’s generation “The Lost Generation.” According to James M. Keller in his article “Americans in Paris,”
“You are all a lost generation,” Gertrude Stein remarked to Ernest Hemingway, who then turned around and used that sentence as an epigraph to close his 1926 novel The Sun Also Rises. Later, in his posthumously published memoir, A Moveable Feast, Hemingway elaborated that Stein had not invented the locution “Lost Generation” but rather merely adopted it after a garage proprietor had used the words to scold an employee who showed insufficient enthusiasm in repairing the ignition in her Model-T Ford [. . .] the phrase lingered in the language as a descriptor for the brigade of American artists who spent time in Europe during the 1920s, most prominently in Paris. It is particularly applied to writers—Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ezra Pound, John Dos Passos, and their ilk—who, having made it through the World War I years, found the City of Light to be financially affordable, intellectually stimulating, and far enough from home that oats could be sown wildly without long-lasting effect. Some suggested that the appellation “Lost Generation” conveyed the idea that these literary Americans abroad were left to chart their own paths without the compasses of the preceding generation, since the values and expectations that had shaped their upbringings—the rules that governed their lives—had changed fundamentally through the Great War’s horror.
Basically, Stein felt that these young men (and women) had somehow “lost” a central part of themselves. Because of World War I, Stein saw these young men as losing part of the maturation process. Some were asked to be leaders of men when they were teenagers themselves. They saw their friends dying on the battlefield for reasons they may not have truly understood. When they should have been discovering themselves, they were being asked to survive and make adult, life and death decisions without the resources to make these choices. When they came home, they were restless, rootless, and directionless. Many of them partied too hard, drank too hard, and lived life too fast. No one prepared them for life after the War and making themselves a part of society. They gave us great literature, beautiful paintings, and great music. Yet, Hemingway married four times, drank too much, and ultimately committed suicide. Fitzgerald’s hard-living and his wife’s nervous breakdowns, led to financial ruin and an early death. Even Picasso who lived to be 91, married twice, had 4 children by three different women, and had multiple mistresses.

Not that there is a direct comparison, because many of today’s entertainers and athletes never have had to fight a war. Yet, there is a bit of a lost generation to them. They like the “lost generation” of the 20’s are living hedonistically.

Serbians Prepare To Go To The Polls

This hedonism is glorified every week on any number of reality shows, the newspapers, and police blotters. They party like there is no tomorrow. The biggest difference is that these young men and women have money. They have money and no moral compass. They are asked to lead grown men on the grid iron, the hardwood, around the bases and on the ice, barely out of high school. They are asked to play mini-adults for our entertainment on the movie screen. They are asked to over sexualize themselves in the videos we watch. They are given a Fort Knox bank account with little preparation into how to maintain it. They spend small fortunes on clothes, alcohol, drugs, and women, not unlike the men of the lost generation. At ages far too young, they are asked to support their families and friends. They become overwhelmed. They have an emptiness that they throw money at, but money can’t fulfill it, girls can’t fulfill, drugs and alcohol can’t fulfill it. They begin to think they are untouchable, invincible. Then, they crash and burn. Be it financially ruined (John Daly/Antoine Walker/Lenny Dykstra), jailed (Travis Henry/Ryan Leaf/Plaxico Burress), publically humiliated (Tiger Woods/Roger Clemens/Barry Bonds) or dead (Heath Ledger, Chris Henry, Steve McNair). There have been those who came back from the brink to be successful and rebuild their lives. For every success, however, you had those who were so desperately lost that they couldn’t find their way no matter how hard they tried (Corey Haim/Michael Jackson). They could not fill that emptiness inside. They often don’t consider the consequences of their actions until it’s too late. Like the 1920’s, the party is going to eventually come to an end. The reality then, the stock market crash of 1929, followed by the Great Depression, and WWII. Let’s hope it doesn’t take something equally devastating to save this generation.

Next time, The Tom Buchanans…

“He wanted to recover something, some idea of himself perhaps, [. . .] His life had been confused and disordered since then, but if he could once return to a certain starting place and go over it all slowly, he could find out what that thing was.” F. Scott Fitzgerald

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Hello, My Name is Diana...

Red Byron

KANSAS CITY, MO - OCTOBER 25: Shawne Merriman #56 of the San Diego Chargers watches the warm ups before the game against the Kansas City Chiefs on October 25, 2009 at Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City, Missouri. (Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images)Content © 2010 Getty Images All rights reserved.

Welcome back, boys and girls…It has been a very long month since the Super Bowl has passed, and I was having a hard time trying to figure what I was going to do with my blog now that football season was over. After all, I started this blog to chronicle my season as a fantasy football player and to declare my fandom and to defend and fawn over my favorite players. Now, I felt like I was at a loss…So while I will still focus primarily on football (*cue Whitney Circa 1987* “My greatest love of all”), I going to touch on other topics as well, so buckle up folks…

One topic that I have been exploring is addiction. I started researching it for a short story that I was contemplating, but the more I read, the more I realized that I, too, am an addict. I am addicted to football. The first step they say is to admit, but bear with me. Here are a few of the signs that made me come to the conclusion that I am an NFL addict.

Signs that you are a football abuser:

1. You neglect your responsibilities to watch football. I have passed on my household chores, paperwork, an occasional relative to watch my games.

2. You are using the NFL under dangerous conditions or taking high risks to watch. I’m not proud, but I was once on the internet while driving trying to check the score to a Chiefs game, which is not necessary, because they are often losing, but I just had to know how badly. I once almost got a ticket speeding to get back home to catch the kick off of a Chiefs/Chargers game. I’m not proud.

3. Your addiction is getting you in legal trouble. See my answer to sign #2.

4. Your addiction is causing problems in your relationships. I have had full blown arguments with family in explaining why their team sucks. I have yelled at people to leave me alone while I’m watching the game. I totally ignore people who want to have asinine conversations with me during the game. I scared my nephew when I was yelling during the game, because the Chiefs scored. I apologized, because he didn’t understand why his aunt had suddenly lost her mind.

Signs that you are a football addict:

1. You’ve built up an NFL tolerance. I love football so much that there have been times that I watched Oakland Raiders games just to have a game on. I am ashamed to admit that I watched a Detroit Lions game that wasn’t on Thanksgiving. There have been Sundays that I have watched games from Noon-10:30 pm and then watched the entire NFL Gameday replay show to watch highlights of the games that I’ve just watched…

2. You try other sports to try to avoid or relieve your withdrawal. I grew up watching all types of sports. I loved baseball (go Braves!), basketball (go Celtics, Cavs!), and I even watched pro wrestling (Go Steiner Bros. and Lex Luger!). Yet, none of these sports could make my pulse pound like a great football game. Okay, baseball did twice, okay, so did basketball, but none could sustain my addiction.

3. You have lost control of your football. During football season, there were times when I was checking blogs, newspapers, stat sheets, and my fantasy teams hourly. [BTW, if it’s your first time to the blog, I had 4 this year, down from the 5 I had the previous season.] The only time I didn’t was during work hours. But, I checked during my breaks. *shrug* I say that I’m not going to read the San Diego Union-Tribune today or the Kansas City Star, but there I am every morning checking, even in the off season, to see what moves my team has made (nice job picking up Thomas Jones, KC).

4. You life revolves around football. Well, yeah…I make sure I tape NFL Live daily. I watch NFL Total Access and have subscriptions to Sporting News, ESPN The Magazine, Sports Illustrated. I’m looking for a new place and the first question usually is “Am I allowed to get DirecTV or Dish Network here, because cable is not going to cut it?” I write a blog about my love of football. I have pictures of Joe Montana, Derrick Thomas, Jerry Rice, and Tony Gonzalez over my desk. The first PowerPoint that I ever made was about…You guessed it, football. My pens rest in a KC Chiefs mug, I have a KC Chiefs scarf that covers my computer monitor when it’s off, and I have a cute custom-made card holder with Tony Gonzalez and Shawne Merriman in matching Pro-Bowl uniforms (it was a gift from a student).

5. You’ve abandoned activities you used to enjoy. I have never been a big socializer. So, that abandoning that was not a problem. I have avoided going on family outings and trips because they have interfered with my games. I cancel weekend activities if they conflict with the Playoff and/or Super Bowl.

6. You continue watching football, despite knowing it is hurting you. Yeah, well, yeah…Blood Pressure pounding, heart racing, obnoxious amounts of food that is bad for you. Of course, football is bad for you, but yeah, I keep pulling a chair up in front of it every single time.

I have had brief stints of football sobriety. After Derrick Thomas died, I just didn’t want to watch. I thought I would get myself cleaned up as far as my addiction was concerned. I realized that there was more to life than football. That period lasted from 2000-2003, and I stopped watching football cold turkey. I gave it up. I didn’t watch SportsCenter, didn’t read about it in the paper, and I admit it was pretty good. I got a lot of work done. I found other hobbies. One afternoon, I was flipping through the channels, and there was a Kansas City Chiefs highlight playing. It was Tony Gonzalez leaping into the endzone backwards for a touchdown. I was mesmerized, captivated, and I slipped off the wagon.

NFL Football: Raiders vs. Chiefs NOV 30

November 30, 2008: TE #88 Tony Gonzalez of the Kansas City Chiefs in action vs. the Oakland Raiders. Photo via NewscomContent © 2010 Newscom All rights reserved.

Sigh, now I suffer, along with the rest of the NFL addicts, who use any tidbit of info we can gather just to be able to talk about football. We have a kind of support group on Twitter. We talk about what we miss, and how we hope our teams will improve, or make fun of other teams bad decisions. But mostly, we wait. It won’t be long until the Draft, Mini-Camps, Training Camps, or preseason games. But, we are all anxiously waiting for that day in the fall when the clarion call of Hank Williams exclaims “Are you ready for some football?!!” Yes, Hank, we are…so until next time just remember what Heywood Hale Brown said, Football is, after all, a wonderful way to get rid of your aggressions without going to jail for it.” See ya, next time!!!


Where You Been?

Hey, guys! Sorry, I've been away soooo long...I feel like I haven't been here in a month...oh, right...I haven't...

Yeah, well, my bad. But, I'll be back to this week on Diana Dishes...I'm gonna take a look at a variety of topics...Like to hear about them...Well, tune in this week...I'm gonna try to make up for that month in a week.

SEE YA!!!

"Love reckons hours for months, and days for years; and every little absence is an age."~John Dryden

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Bien, Les Bons Temps Doivent la Fin Quelque Temps*

NFL: Super Bowl XLIV-New Orleans Saints Media DayFeb 2, 2010; Miami, FL, USA; New Orleans Saints safety Darren Sharper at Super Bowl XLIV media day at Sun Life Stadium.Content © 2010 Newscom All rights reserved.

Happy Valentine’s Day, everybody. This is usually a sad time for me. Not, because I don’t have a Valentine, I get to spend the day with the most important person in the world to me…Me. Now, some people may say that that is vain, arrogant or egotistical. I say, thank you, because before you can truly love someone else, you need to be able to love yourself, and to paraphrase Terrell Owens, “I love me some me.” No, it’s because this is the signal of the first week without football. I feel the withdrawal symptoms beginning, and I am truly sickened. Oh, sure, there will be the Combine, the Draft, Mini-Camps, Free Agency, and the CBA to look forward to during the off-season. Yet, these things pale in comparison to watching Shawne Merriman sack JaMarcus Russell twice in the same game, or Darren Sharper intercepting Mark Sanchez twice once for a 99 yd touchdown return, or Tony Gonzalez capturing one of his six touchdowns (wait, a minute TG only 6?).

Well, the Super Bowl Champions have been “Laissez le bon temps roulez” all over the nation and French Quarter for the last week. I want to say congratulations, New Orleans! If there was a team other than my beloved Chiefs who deserves to finally raise the Lombardi trophy, it is the long beleaguered New Orleans Saints. While the Saints were celebrating, everybody else was stomping a mud hole in poor Peyton Manning and then walking the thing dry…You would have thought Peyton was Mark McGuire. I mean seriously, folks. You crowned him, and now, you stripping the crown like he declared himself the greatest quarterback ever, which for the record is Joe Montana, no matter what some other clowns, including a rather large brother who writes for Fox, say.

Earlier today, I recalled a weekly event from my childhood. Every Sunday morning, I would turn on the radio and listen to American Top 40 with Casey Kasem. During each episode, he would have a segment called the Long Distance Dedication in which some schmoe would write a depressing letter about a depressing event to dedicate a depressing song to someone who may or may not be dead. Remember? Good times, Good times. . .

Dear Casey, I know that you usually only request one song for your Long Distance Dedication, but I have a few issues to clear up, so I’m hoping you will grant my dedications.

The first is to the NFL. I have been a football fan since 19-, well let’s just say a long time. I use to be a big baseball fan, too. Then, baseball went on strike on my 20th birthday. I kept watching, but I was always a little resentful. So, I would like to dedicate Aaron Neville’s “Don’t Take away my Heaven” Please, NFL owners and NFLPA don’t have a lockout or a strike. It sucks enough that we are only allotted 22 weeks (okay, 21 cause no one really counts the Pro Bowl) of real football a year don’t make it longer.

I am a torn-apart Kansas City Chiefs fan. Vegas has already given them 100-1 odds of making it to the Super Bowl. They finished with a 4-12 record this year. They hired Romeo Crennell and Charlie Weis as coordinators to try to help them over the hump. I would even settle for a second place finish which would at least show improvement, because all they managed to do was play themselves out of the Ndamukong Suh sweepstakes. Sigh…So, I would like to dedicate Mariah Carey’s “I Still Believe” to my Kansas City Chiefs, because I still believe they can win (not really, but I’m trying to do better). I should dedicate “What a Fool Believes” to myself.

As I have described above, I am a Chiefs fan. That said, I have strayed often to players on teams with winning records for one or more of the following reasons talented, good-looking, talented and good-looking. Some of these players are Tony Gonzalez of the Atlanta Falcons (former Chief shouldn’t count as cheating), Darren Sharper of the New Orleans Saints (it’s the interceptions and those damn dimples), and Shawne Merriman of the San Diego Chargers (There are too many reasons to list here as to why I like Shawne Merriman. No, I don’t care that you don’t like him. Cute, ferocious, cute, mean-streak, cute, dimples, and did I mention that he is cute.). So, I would like to dedicate Joan Jett’s “I hate myself for loving you,” because I really should stop straying from my team and that NBC blatantly ripped it off for their Sunday Night Football theme. Seriously, Chiefs if you want a “Do Right Woman” y’all need to do right.

Lastly, a few others to a few players:
To Peyton Manning, Aaron Neville’s “Everybody plays the Fool.” It’ll be alright, Peyton. You are already the top pick for next year. To Drew Brees, Joey Scarbury’s “The Greatest American Hero.” Let’s repeat to show everyone that it wasn’t a fluke. To Brett Favre, Gloria Estefan’s “Go Away,” because I think I speak pretty much for everybody on this one. To the Indianapolis Colt’s Aaliyah’s “Try Again.” To the Cowboys, Broncos and Raiders, Ugly Kidd Joe’s “Everything about You,” because after all of these years I still hate you. And to all football fans, I dedicate Nu Shooz’s “I Can’t Wait,” because there are only 208 days until Thursday September 10, 2010-the first day of the 2010 season.

That’s all until next week guys. In the words of the great Vince Lombardi, “Football is like life - it requires perseverance, self-denial, hard work, sacrifice, dedication and respect for authority.” See y’all next week!

*Well, the good times have to end some time...

Sunday, February 7, 2010

All This and Dwight Freeney’s ankle-thingy…

Happy Super Bowl Sunday, guys! I took a bit of a sabbatical last week to do my real job as a teacher. Last weekend was Prom weekend at my school. To say prom is a big deal is an understatement at our school…It is like Super Bowl weekend for Juniors and Seniors. Too bad, no one told me in college that being a prom sponsor would call for such talents as coaching, counseling, cattle wrangling, chasing, construction, catering, party planning, and the ability to make questionable decisions at hours long past a decent bed time. Sorry, I digressed…

We are down now to the final two… The AFC Champion Indianapolis Colts versus The NFC Champion New Orleans Saints. It has been over 15 years since the NFL has had two number ones in the Super Bowl, but clearly that is not the most important thing happening in Miami this week. Let’s take a look back. . .Dwight Freeney rolled his ankle during the AFC Championship game, and this third degree sprain may prevent him from playing in the Super Bowl…Chad Ocho Cinco, in his quest to be the most talked about football player that ever lived, launched the OCNN, which debuted at media day. Peyton accidentally called Darren Sharper (Hey dimples!) “Jamie” during an interview, to which, Darren countered by calling Peyton, “Eli.” Zinger…In breaking News, Dwight Freeney’s ankle has been up graded to a 3rd degree sprain, and he might not play…Shawne Merriman and Tony Gonzalez were in Miami for interviews, parties, and what not...The Pro Bowl was the highest rated all star game in years, even though the Super Bowl teams players were not allowed to play, and it was up against the Grammys, which is like the Pro Bowl for singers with the more talented singers opting out of the event…A Kansas City Chief finally won an award, Brian Waters will be named the Walter Payton man of the Year award winner…This just in, Dwight Freeney’s ankle is still a 3rd degree sprain, and he might not play…Michael Irvin was sued by a woman who claimed he assaulted her last year; he countersued…Warren Sapp was arrested for domestic abuse…


Now, for a PSA…Girls, if you ever find yourself in the Super Bowl city, have your own damn room. I’m not justifying what Warren Sapp did, but honey, why the hell didn’t you go to your own room, if you were tired? I have not, nor will I ever, ask for the room key of a man who is not A) my boyfriend, B) my fiancé, or C) my husband. Period, end of discussion. It never ends well, and if dude asks you to leave, then just leave. Why are you arguing? You didn’t pay for the room. Now, to you Warren, why offer her the room? We know you didn’t do it out of the “kindness of your heart,” and we know that you probably got a better offer. If you wanted her to leave, call security…You don’t go to jail, and she leaves. Done and done. When will they ever learn…SMH…Oh, we interrupt this PSA to tell you about Dwight Freeney’s, sigh, I think you got the picture.


Well, we have been hearing the stories all week, New Orleans favorite son, Peyton Manning playing against his father’s former team the Saints. Drew Brees, adopted son, has become one of the faces of New Orleans. Then, there is Darren Sharper…I just wanted to say his name *blush.* We have already covered the title topic, and at last check, Freeny was going to play, even though he hasn’t practiced all week. *shrug* Let’s take a look at the two teams…


The Indianapolis Colts
: Peyton Manning-He is ranked 2nd in passing yards (4500), tied for second in passing touchdowns (33), and he was only sacked 10 times this year…Plus, he’s Peyton Manning, you know 6’ 5” 230 pounds, laser rocket arm…Team wise: The Colts were ranked 4th in total offense, 3rd in passing, 9th in rushing. On Defense: The Colts were ranked 5th in total defense, 7th in passing, and 4th in rushing. Not bad.

The New Orleans Saints:
Drew Brees-He is ranked 6th in passing yards (4388), first in passing touchdowns (34), and Drew Brees has been sacked 9 times for loss of 61 yards in 2009. Now let's look at the team. On offense: The Saints were ranked 7th in total offense, 7th in passing, 7th in rushing (Well, they are consistent, but I'm not liking all of those 7s...). On defense: The Saints were ranked 9th in total defense, 10th in passing, 7th in rushing.Numbers don’t mean anything to me (I’m an English major, remember)…Colts were 14-2 and the Saints were 13-3. Blah-Blah-Blah…So, here’s my pick…*Fresh Prince voice* Drums Please…Laissez le bontemps roulez, New Orleans! I’m picking the Saints.

That’s it, Y’all!! Even if the Saints don’t win, it’s Mardi Gras season…They are gonna party in the French Quarter regardless. Until next week… “Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.” Oscar Wilde