Feb 2, 2010; Miami, FL, USA; New Orleans Saints safety Darren Sharper at Super Bowl XLIV media day at Sun Life Stadium.Content © 2010 Newscom All rights reserved.
Happy Valentine’s Day, everybody. This is usually a sad time for me. Not, because I don’t have a Valentine, I get to spend the day with the most important person in the world to me…Me. Now, some people may say that that is vain, arrogant or egotistical. I say, thank you, because before you can truly love someone else, you need to be able to love yourself, and to paraphrase Terrell Owens, “I love me some me.” No, it’s because this is the signal of the first week without football. I feel the withdrawal symptoms beginning, and I am truly sickened. Oh, sure, there will be the Combine, the Draft, Mini-Camps, Free Agency, and the CBA to look forward to during the off-season. Yet, these things pale in comparison to watching Shawne Merriman sack JaMarcus Russell twice in the same game, or Darren Sharper intercepting Mark Sanchez twice once for a 99 yd touchdown return, or Tony Gonzalez capturing one of his six touchdowns (wait, a minute TG only 6?).
Well, the Super Bowl Champions have been “Laissez le bon temps roulez” all over the nation and French Quarter for the last week. I want to say congratulations, New Orleans! If there was a team other than my beloved Chiefs who deserves to finally raise the Lombardi trophy, it is the long beleaguered New Orleans Saints. While the Saints were celebrating, everybody else was stomping a mud hole in poor Peyton Manning and then walking the thing dry…You would have thought Peyton was Mark McGuire. I mean seriously, folks. You crowned him, and now, you stripping the crown like he declared himself the greatest quarterback ever, which for the record is Joe Montana, no matter what some other clowns, including a rather large brother who writes for Fox, say.
Earlier today, I recalled a weekly event from my childhood. Every Sunday morning, I would turn on the radio and listen to American Top 40 with Casey Kasem. During each episode, he would have a segment called the Long Distance Dedication in which some schmoe would write a depressing letter about a depressing event to dedicate a depressing song to someone who may or may not be dead. Remember? Good times, Good times. . .
Dear Casey, I know that you usually only request one song for your Long Distance Dedication, but I have a few issues to clear up, so I’m hoping you will grant my dedications.
The first is to the NFL. I have been a football fan since 19-, well let’s just say a long time. I use to be a big baseball fan, too. Then, baseball went on strike on my 20th birthday. I kept watching, but I was always a little resentful. So, I would like to dedicate Aaron Neville’s “Don’t Take away my Heaven” Please, NFL owners and NFLPA don’t have a lockout or a strike. It sucks enough that we are only allotted 22 weeks (okay, 21 cause no one really counts the Pro Bowl) of real football a year don’t make it longer.
I am a torn-apart Kansas City Chiefs fan. Vegas has already given them 100-1 odds of making it to the Super Bowl. They finished with a 4-12 record this year. They hired Romeo Crennell and Charlie Weis as coordinators to try to help them over the hump. I would even settle for a second place finish which would at least show improvement, because all they managed to do was play themselves out of the Ndamukong Suh sweepstakes. Sigh…So, I would like to dedicate Mariah Carey’s “I Still Believe” to my Kansas City Chiefs, because I still believe they can win (not really, but I’m trying to do better). I should dedicate “What a Fool Believes” to myself.
As I have described above, I am a Chiefs fan. That said, I have strayed often to players on teams with winning records for one or more of the following reasons talented, good-looking, talented and good-looking. Some of these players are Tony Gonzalez of the Atlanta Falcons (former Chief shouldn’t count as cheating), Darren Sharper of the New Orleans Saints (it’s the interceptions and those damn dimples), and Shawne Merriman of the San Diego Chargers (There are too many reasons to list here as to why I like Shawne Merriman. No, I don’t care that you don’t like him. Cute, ferocious, cute, mean-streak, cute, dimples, and did I mention that he is cute.). So, I would like to dedicate Joan Jett’s “I hate myself for loving you,” because I really should stop straying from my team and that NBC blatantly ripped it off for their Sunday Night Football theme. Seriously, Chiefs if you want a “Do Right Woman” y’all need to do right.
Lastly, a few others to a few players:
To Peyton Manning, Aaron Neville’s “Everybody plays the Fool.” It’ll be alright, Peyton. You are already the top pick for next year. To Drew Brees, Joey Scarbury’s “The Greatest American Hero.” Let’s repeat to show everyone that it wasn’t a fluke. To Brett Favre, Gloria Estefan’s “Go Away,” because I think I speak pretty much for everybody on this one. To the Indianapolis Colt’s Aaliyah’s “Try Again.” To the Cowboys, Broncos and Raiders, Ugly Kidd Joe’s “Everything about You,” because after all of these years I still hate you. And to all football fans, I dedicate Nu Shooz’s “I Can’t Wait,” because there are only 208 days until Thursday September 10, 2010-the first day of the 2010 season.
That’s all until next week guys. In the words of the great Vince Lombardi, “Football is like life - it requires perseverance, self-denial, hard work, sacrifice, dedication and respect for authority.” See y’all next week!
*Well, the good times have to end some time...