NFL Week 8: The Returned

Happy Halloween, everybody! Sorry about the air silence last week. It was the mom's birthday week, and I really wanted just to watch American Horror Story (which I am totally losing interest in) and The Walking Dead (I just can't believe that he is dead. I refuse to until I see more evidence). Since I've been gone, New England, Cincinnati, Denver, Green Bay, and Carolina have managed to stay undefeated.  Every one is bracing for Sunday's showdown between Peyton and Aaron (I'll be biting my nails waiting for confirmation about a certain pizza boy's fate, and I am not talking about Peyton Manning). Y'all know I'm rooting for Aaron in this showdown.

My Chiefs finally won another game!!! Yet, I'm not ready to do a dance just yet, because...they just frustrate the daylights out of me. This team is good on paper (notice I didn't say great), but they should be better than 2-5, and it is annoying that they are tied for last place in the AFC West and that the town in northern California is higher than my Chiefs. Hate that team, man. This week the Chiefs travel to London for a "home" against the Detroit Lions. First, I want to apologize to our British brethren who will suffer through this travesty of a football game live, as well as the fans who are traveling from the US and other countries to watch these mediocre teams battle for mediocre supremacy. The Chiefs are really testing my fandom.

Oh, Congratulations to Tony Gonzalez who was honored by the Chiefs last week, and who was inducted in the University of California's Hall of Fame this weekend. Congratulations #88! (or should that be #44) Now, you guys knew, this post would not be complete without a TG update. Also, get well soon to Jamaal Charles, who is recovering from knee surgery.

Fantasy fans: Remember, this is a bye week for Buffalo, Jacksonville, Philadelphia, and Washington. I finished week six with a 9-5 record which brings my total thus far to 55-36.

Sunday, November 1, 2015
Detroit Lions vs. Kansas City Chiefs: Kansas City (I don't believe this for one minute)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. Atlanta Falcons: Atlanta
Minnesota Vikings vs. Chicago Bears: Chicago
Arizona Cardinals vs. Cleveland Browns: Arizona
San Francisco 49ers vs. St. Louis Rams: St. Louis
New York Giants vs. New Orleans Saints: New Orleans
Cincinnati Bengals vs. Pittsburgh Steelers: Cincinnati
San Diego Chargers vs. Baltimore Ravens: Baltimore
Tennessee Titans vs. Houston Texans: Houston
New York Jets vs. Oakland Raiders: New York
Seattle Seahawks vs. Dallas Cowboys: Seattle
Green Bay Packers vs. Denver Broncos: Green Bay

Monday, November 2, 2015
Indianapolis Colts vs. Carolina Panthers: Carolina

Thursday, November 5, 2015
Cleveland Browns vs. Cincinnati Bengals: Cincinnati


Until next week, “I think that we're all mentally ill. Those of us outside the asylums only hide it a little better - and maybe not all that much better after all.” ― Stephen King

Enjoy your Halloween!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dead Viewing: S6, Episode 2 "JSS"

NFL Week 6: The Tracks of My Tears

Welcome back, everybody. The tears are still metaphorically flowing over here at Diana Dishes. Why? Well, if you haven't, heard Jamaal Charles who is easily the best player on the Chiefs has torn his ACL has been lost for the remainder of the season. Sigh...my favorite team just can't win for losing, because it's not bad enough that we lost J. Charles, the Chiefs lost the game in the final 30 seconds. At this point, I find it difficult to see the Chiefs salvaging this season. When the best player thus far is your kicker (thanks for the points Cairo Santos), things do not bode well. FYI, what the crap is going on with our vaunted defense? I swear, watching the Chiefs is like watching Titanic on a loop. You know how it's going to end, but you keep watching anyway.


In case you've missed it, New England and Green Bay are really, really good. I will be rooting for the Packers if they end up in the Super Bowl. Peyton Manning is looking un-Peyton Manning like. I can't figure out the Saints, 49ers, Eagles, and Ravens. They are just, meh... Is it just me, or has this whole season been a season of meh with all the injuries and lack of, anything, from teams who should be performing much better, yeah, you Seattle.


That said, I've been pretty good with my predictions this year. Most weeks have been a 9-10 pick win week. Last week, I was 9-5 which brings my total to 46-31. Fantasy players: Oakland, Dallas, St. Louis, and Tampa Bay have byes this week.


Sunday, October 18, 2015
Cincinnati Bengals at Buffalo Bills: Cincinnati
Denver Broncos at Cleveland Browns: Denver
Chicago Bears at Detroit Lions: Chicago
Miami Dolphins at Tennessee Titans: Miami
Kansas City Chiefs at Minnesota Vikings: Minnesota (I'm not going to pick the Chiefs until they win.)
Washington Redskins at New York Jets: New York
Arizona Cardinals at Pittsburgh Steelers: Arizona
Houston Texans at Jacksonville Jaguars: Houston
Carolina Panthers at Seattle Seahawks: Seattle
San Diego Chargers at Green Bay Packers: Green Bay
Baltimore Ravens at San Francisco 49ers: Baltimore
New England Patriots at Indianapolis Colts: New England


Monday, October 19, 2015
New York Giants at Philadelphia Eagles: New York


Thursday, October 22, 2015
Seattle Seahawks at San Francisco 49ers: Seattle


*Quick note: If you have Showtime, you can catch replays of Play it Forward, a documentary about my all-time favorite player Tony Gonzalez and his family, especially his older brother Chris. I'm anxiously waiting to watch myself. The trailer looks amazing. I missed the premiere, because I was working a high school football game...in the concession stand. P.S. as a fan of Tony G., I have greatly appreciated all of the promotion that went into this documentary this week. Y'all know I'm smiling right now, right? Y'all been here before.


Well, that's that. Until next week, "Oh, my friend, it's not what they take away from you that counts. It's what you do with what you have left."~Hubert Humphrey

Live Blogging: American Horror Story, Episode 2 "Chutes and Ladders"

Welcome back, everybody! So, have your recovered from last week's insanity. Granted, I had The Walking Dead to calm me down just a little, but seriously, there are moments from last weeks episode of AHS: Hotel that I never need to see again, thank you very much.


Sally is the mattress seamstress, placing the unfortunate drug addict in this week's mattress. So the creepy children just killed blonde number #2. How many bodies are in this basement? Nice dumping the lime. Donovan hiding from mommy? I can't get use to Gaga's blond eyebrows. Donovan, the countess does not like to trifled with son. Can we talk a moment about Gaga' fashion? These gowns are to die for! Her wardrobe rivals Regina's from Once Upon a Time, and that's saying something (because you know, and I know that the Evil Queen's wardrobe is the fiercest one in the land). Kid gets the measles because fashionable mom refuses vaccine topical. Is Alex a doctor?


Meanwhile, detective Seneca Crane (John Lowe-Wes Bentley) was awakened by the monster with the rotating drill bit. That was a nice how-do-ya-do. Whoa, whoa, whoa...what the crap is going on in this room? Dead people having a go in the shower? Dreams in a dream. Creepy little Holden running in the halls. For a cop, Lowe, you really have no this may be a dangerous place vibes. Speaking of wardrobe's Liz Taylor's over the top glam. This scene is Danny Torrance from The Shining. Love Sally's "this place is batsh*t crazy" line, you know considering she sews people into mattresses after the drill bit monster has his way. Ah, flashbacks to other murders. Well, at least AHS, didn't go all artsy with the black and white flashback like The Walking Dead. This guy killed his own kids? NO, they did not have the story of the family who died of carbon monoxide poison. The killer is text savvy, eh? Bomb? Maybe? Is that a bloody Oscar?


Sorry, I had to interrupt American Horror Story to watch Tony Gonzalez on Inside NFL. Sorry, I'll be back in a minute. He will be starring in a documentary about his career and family on Showtime called Play it Forward.


So, I made it back for weird commercials. Yay. Naomi Campbell is perfect for this creepfest. Liz Taylor making his thoughts about fashion known. Uh, who the heck drops off a kid at this hotel?  What is wrong with Alex? Why are all of the children in this show androgynous? Donovan "You do have a type?" Is he referring to blood or brunettes. There is Finn Wittrock as a drugged out model. Has to be better than Dandy. Does ha actually have  a Mohawk-mullet? What the world, dude? So, he molests a dude's girlfriend and then threatens him with a piece of glass. Just gonna cut your face up, instead of quitting, huh, dude? These kids really want to die. they keep putting themselves in the most perilous situations. Wait, Lachlan has found the creepy kids' coffins, Scarlett just follows his lead, and now he knocks on a coffin containing a kid. What the crap is wrong with these kids? It's like they are daring death to take them.


Wait, Will Drake is a vampire, too? What? Did I miss something? Um, yum, maggot sandwich. Just what a growing boy needs, Tristan. Maybe not pick up discarded food bro. Okay, Evan Peters as Howard Hughes? How many dead people are in this hotel? Wait, what? Kill her? Evan Peters is a psychopath this year? Does anyone watch Scarlett? She's like Carl in seasons 1 and 2 of The Walking Dead. Why does Holden look like he is auditioning for AC-DC? I like it here. Holden: You can come whenever you want. Okay, I missed his face. What did that look like?


Seriously, why is no one watching Scarlett? How the crap did her dad lose her, and how the heck did she just wander into the house? Yep, mom does not her believe her. Uhm, calm down dad. Well, mom is Lori, and Scarlett is Carl. Well, Gaga found a new toy, quickly. Countess was born in 1904. Wow. Apparently, being a vampire comes from a virus. Okay. That's new. better than venom I guess. The Countess is cold-blooded. Throwing over Donovan for Tristan. Guess Donovan will be visiting Mommy soon.


Iris has Lowe drinking. James March is part Howard Hughes, Gatsby, the crazy Winchester rife lady, and a dash of H. H. Holmes. You can read about Holmes in Devil in the White City. March is also killing people like Poe at his desk. I just realized who the maid is. Mare Winningham who played Peters' mom in Coven. Well, 1924, that makes Evan Peters a ghost, too. I guess? I also guess that Evan Peters was tired of being a good guy. Man, he tossed the bodies in a vineyard with the Bibles on a Sunday, and I'm assuming that the maid is a ghost, too. Man, there is some crazy at this hotel. I wish you would go first, so I can launder the sheets. The world? Miss Evers Volunteered to be his last victim, before he slit his own throat. What AM I WATCHING?!?!?


Room 64 is the heart of the hotel.  Done.


All the murders somehow connect to March. He is killing according to the 10 commandments. Okay this hipster dude with the beard and the man bun needs to go. Annnnnnnd, he's dead. That didn't last long. Tristan has made his first kill. Tristan, guys, at least kick the hipster out of the bed. Next week looks fabulous. "I googled you." "That Sounds obscene."


Well, another Wednesday, another episode of American Horror Story in the books. See ya, next week!

Live Blogging: Season 6 Premiere of The Walking Dead

Welcome back, everyone! I can't believe that the premiere of Season 6 of The Walking Dead is about start in 10 minutes!!! I, for one, cannot wait. I'm watching the finale before the season starts. I'm reminded that I still hate "Father" Gabriel. I hope Gabriel joins Andrea and Lori tonight. Sasha should have shot Gabriel.


Five minutes until The Walking Dead!!!!
I'm cool as long as my faves make it through the season: Michonne, Rick, Glenn, in that order.
Here it is, "Previously, on The Walking Dead."
What is going on? What are they practicing? I'm confused. I'm not sure what is going on is this some kind of Horde practice in case they get into Alexandria.
Deanna, we could have told you Gabriel is always wrong, ALWAYS...
I forgot about Tara's head wound.
I love Glenn so much. Tara and Eugene are the weirdest couple ever. Morgan and Rick-The band's back together. What the crap is up with Abraham?  Hey, heyyyyy, there Daryl.
I'm thinking the Flashbacks are to what has happened since the season ended in Alexandria. The Color is happening "now." Morgan with his Yoda stick. Heath. I don't think I've ever med a black dude named Heath, but I like him, though his dreads are suspect. He's looking at Eugene like, "Are you stupid or something?" Who is the "Common-looking" dude?
Deanna is cold man, "Let the trees have him."
Morgan reminding Rick that they are all killers. Morgan and Michonne, did you take one of my Protein bars? I like these scenes with Morgan and Rick. Why are the kids so stupid on these shows?
For the life of me, I can't remember "porch dick's" name. That was a quick 30 minutes.



What are they doing?
Ron is as dumb as his dad.
Nick finally figured out that Glenn knows what he is doing. Well, of course there is a fence behind the doors. We can't have easy ever. So, just found out from Sonequa Martin-Green's twitter feed that Heath's friend Scott is her real husband. Yes, yes I am tweeting, too. Because, yes.
Y'all, Heath's hair is so suspect. They couldn't find the person who did Michonne's? I really need Carol to get a haircut.
Dude, you really want to get your butt kicked talking to Rick like that. I love how they just shoot Gabriel down. And of course, we aren't going to ask how the balloons are up.
Not liking, Pete 2. These zombies are in bad shape if a bump on the head can take them out of the game. Tara missed a lot. It wouldn't surprise me if Tara tries to kill Nick.
Awww, Maggie has adopted Tara as a sister. Nice bit of work, Glenn, Heath, and...Nick.
Is Morgan flirting with Carol? Abraham has no chill. Abraham is a lunatic. He hasn't been right since Eugene told the truth.
The Alexandrians are the weakest people ever. "Help me?" Freaking really.
I'm insulting the Alexandrians, but on the real, I would probably be that weak.
Where is Carl? He better not be hugged up with some little girl. Eugene is the worse. He really is.
The hell is wrong with you, Carter?  Really, Carter, have you lost your mind? Clean-up in the pantry. Y'all know Carter peed his pants. You could probably kill this year's walkers with a paper clip.
Well, Carter's dead. Rick was right. Just stab him in the head! Morgan, on the low, still doesn't trust Rick. I still don't like Jessie. There is so much going on right now. I don't think I can handle this all season. Where is that horn coming from? Who is blowing the horn in Alexandria? Dude, this is not going to end well.


Until next week, Catch your breath...

NFL Week 5: Seasons Change but Some Things Stay the Same

Welcome back, everybody! Sorry, I didn't get this post up on Saturday night like I normally do, but the real job took me on a field trip, and I didn't get home until late. Shout out to my IPad that took a nose dive off the table Friday night and had me spending the better part of the field trip looking forlorn on the butcher block bench at the Apple Store. Waiting to be called at the Apple store must be what Purgatory must be like.

Anyway, who says that the NFL is a young man's game? Don't tell Peyton Manning and Tom Brady who are both sitting on undefeated records, or Matt Hasselbeck who helped put Indianapolis over the hump in the wake of Andrew Luck's injury. For the record: while I may think it is cool that guys my age are still slinging in the NFL, I have am most certainly not happy about the these stats, especially since one of them has contributed to my Chiefs being in the basement of the AFC West. I'm still waiting for that team that was suppose to conquer the west to show. If any of you happen to see them let me know. Speaking of basement dwellers, San Francisco, New Orleans, Detroit, Houston, and Philadelphia weren't you guys suppose to be better than this?


Ah well, this post is going to be short and to the point, because tonight I will be Live Blogging the season premiere of The Walking Dead. Fantasy players: your bye teams this week are the Miami Dolphins, New York Jets, Minnesota Vikings, and Carolina Panthers, so set your teams accordingly. Last week was a pretty decent week. I'm coming off two weeks of 10 win picks, yay me. So last week's 10-5 pushes my record to 37-26 on the season. Let us hope I continue the trend this week.

Sunday, October 11, 2015
Washington Redskins at Atlanta Falcons: Atlanta
Seattle Seahawks at Cincinnati Bengals: Cincinnati
St. Louis Rams at Green Bay Packers: Green Bay
Buffalo Bills at Tennessee Titans: Buffalo
Chicago Bears at Kansas City Chiefs: Kansas City (C'mon, guys! You have to beat Cutler!)
New Orleans Saints at Philadelphia Eagles: New Orleans
Jacksonville Jaguars at Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Tampa Bay
Cleveland Browns at Baltimore Ravens: Baltimore
Arizona Cardinals at Detroit Lions: Arizona
New England Patriots at Dallas Cowboys: New England
Denver Broncos at Oakland Raiders: Denver
San Francisco 49ers at New York Giants: New York

Monday, October 12, 2015
Pittsburgh Steelers at San Diego Chargers: San Diego

Thursday, October 15, 2015
Atlanta Falcons at New Orleans Saints: Atlanta

Until next week, "So it goes..."-Kurt Vonnegut

Live Blogging: American Horror Story: Hotel, Episode 1-Checking In

So, it's finally the premiere week that I have been waiting for--American Horror Story premieres tonight, and The Walking Dead premieres on Sunday. I didn't watch the first two seasons of American Horror Story as they happened. I tried starting Murder House, but it initially didn't catch my attention. I later watched both Murder House and Asylum (Seasons 1 and 2). Every one debates which season is the best. Most people (including me) think Murder House is the best. While I agree that Murder House is the best, Coven is my favorite. It was so campy, and Jessica Lange was deliciously evil as Fiona Goode. Freakshow has been my least favorite.  I just think there was too much...just way, too much. Although I will miss Jessica Lange, I'm looking forward to the crazy that Lady Gaga brings to the table in American Horror Story: Hotel.


9:00 p.m.: I will already say that I love the images that I am seeing from Hotel. At first glance, the Hotel Cortez is seriously not a place that I would like to visit. I wonder how long these little girls are going to last. The outside is horrible, but the inside is incredibly beautiful and creepy. These glasses that Kathy Bates is wearing. This place will grow on you are not words I want to hear checking into a hotel with virtually no visible guests. No cell service...I think I would have to chalk up that cash. Crazy maid, check, bloody sheets, check, creepy ass kid, check and check. Nice gloves, Gaga. This room looks like it hasn't been cleaned since 1969.  there is no one in this building chick, and I bet there is a dead person under the bed...okay in the bed. What the hell was that? A Freaking zombie coming out of the mattress. Why are the intros to American Horror Story always scarier than the actual show, especially that creepy music?


9:10 p.m.: Why didn't those girls, I don't know...run?! Free room, nah. Nothing about this hotel says stay the night. This is 2015 right, right? Uh-oh, one of the blonde tourists is missing. What the?? The kids are eating the blonde, wait, what? There is too much already. Zombie man in the mattress, a missing blonde being eaten by scary children, Seneca Crane investigating a murder. OH, lord gross. a crucified dead chick still attached to a dude with no tongue or eyeballs. WTF? Beardless Seneca Crane's kid looks like one of the cannibal kids. Why does Kathy Bates look like Harry Carey? Sarah Paulson, girl, what is wrong with your hair? What the crap was that? Was that a drill bit being used as a nope, nope, y'all.


9:29 p.m.: I had to take a break, because there was way too much freaky going on...Dead dude under the bed. Who are these Doc Brown-looking kids running up and down the halls? Do we even have someone to root for on this show? If my math is right (it may be iffy), 5 people are dead and 1 has lost his eyes, tongue, and has  his favorite tool attached to a dead woman.


9:36 p.m.: Finally a Gaga appearance, and of course, she's getting high before going to the movies in a park. That's what, you do, right? Nothing says romance like Nosferatu in the park. So you just hook up with two random strangers you kinda met in a park. Okay. Zombies, vampires, crazy monster dudes with weird attachments, crazy vampire children, what am I watching?!!?!?!?! Wait, Kathy Bates kidnapped the blondes? What?


9:46 p.m.: So, Sally and Harry fatten up people for Gaga. Run, Vendela, run. Should have swerved girl. Should have run when you saw the  mattress birthing a zombie. Did Seneca Crane bring his daughter to a crime scene, because I feel like there will be another when he gets home. Why do little kids in movies follow trouble? It's like they want to die. Uh-um. that kid is never, ever going to be right. So, someone just swiped your kid off the merry-go-round. Way to be observant, John Travolta.


10:10 p.m.: So, you are going to just let your kid hang out with creepy Lady Gaga. Okay. FYI, If I can live in this room, you can kidnap me. Candy, wall-size video games, and recliners, Couch Potato heaven. Harry Carey is Gaga's Boy toy's mommy? What is wrong with these people? Sarah Paulson is a freaking ghost?!!!! Nice touch with Hotel California. Check out anytime you like, but you can never leave. Wait Seneca Crane, you check in to the murder hotel? What? So, Gaga is a "Vampire" who brought Donovan back, and Sally is a Ghost, and Kathy Bates is a killer Harry Carey. Okay. Why do people continue to even talk to Kathy Bates in movies? She could have candy, and I would assume it's poisoned.


Guys, this was an intense 90 minutes, and these scenes from the season are probably not going to let me sleep. Until next week...

 

NFL Week 4: It Could Be Worse...Right?

Welcome back, everybody! I hope life is better for your football team than mine. Two of my favorite television shows will be premiering this week: American Horror Story and The Walking Dead. Both titles could be used to describe what is happening to my Kansas City Chiefs right now. 

My Chiefs made a public spectacle of themselves yet again on national television losing 38-28 to Aaron Rodgers and the Green Bay Packers. The Chiefs broke two streaks that night--they lost for the first time at Lambeau, and they FINALLY threw a touchdown pass to a wide receiver. The best thing about that was Maclin and Kelce helped my fantasy team Just Gonzo finally win a game. Yay. The Chiefs are in the AFC West basement tied with San Diego. Yes, the Raiders have won 1 more game than both.  There are currently 7 other teams in the AFC with the same record as the Chiefs including ALL of the AFC South teams, Miami, and Cleveland. Hey Kansas City, with the exception of maybe Indianapolis and Houston, this is not the company you want to keep. At least, my team still has a starting quarterback who is not injured which they can't say in Dallas, Chicago, New Orleans, and now, Indianapolis. Plus, while Alex Smith hasn't hit mediocre yet, at least he's not Colin Kaepernick, what happed to this guy?

There is going to be a game in London this weekend: the New York Jets vs. the Miami Dolphins, and that's all I've got to say about that.

My record has somewhat improved with my 10-6 score last week.  My record to date is 27-21, not bad, but these teams are making it so difficult to pick winner. Fantasy players, if you have Jets or Dolphins players set them tonight or get up early tomorrow. The game airs at 9:30 EST. The only teams with a bye this week are New England and Tennessee. Also, I pick Thursday games early.

Sunday, October 4 2015
New York Jets vs. Miami Dolphins (London): New York
Houston Texans at Atlanta Falcons: Atlanta
New York Giants at Buffalo Bills: Buffalo
Oakland Raiders at Chicago Bears: Oakland
Kansas City Chiefs at Cincinnati Bengals: Cincinnati (You have know idea how much I want to pick the Chiefs.)
Jacksonville Jaguars at Indianapolis Colts: Indianapolis (I'm barely picking them, because they've been bad, but if Luck is a go, they have to be better than Jacksonville.)
Carolina Panthers at Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Carolina
Philadelphia Eagles at Washington Redskins: Philadelphia
Cleveland Browns at San Diego Chargers: San Diego
Minnesota Vikings at Denver Broncos: Denver
St. Louis Rams at Arizona Cardinals: Arizona
Green Bay Packers at San Francisco 49ers: Green Bay
Dallas at New Orleans: New Orleans (Come on, Saints! Give you fans a victory over the Cowboys.)


Monday, October 5, 2015
Detroit Lions at Seattle Seahawks: Seattle


Thursday, October 8, 2015
Indianapolis Colts at Houston Texans: Houston


I'm going to post two new entries this week. I will be live blogging the season premiere of American Horror Story: Hotel on Wednesday, October 7, and the season premiere of The Walking Dead on Sunday, October 11. I had fun live blogging The Walking Dead this spring, so I thought that I'd give it a whirl for the whole season.


Until next time, "Life is not about how fast you run or how high you climb but how well you bounce." ~Vivian Komori