NFL Week 10: Well, That Wasn't What We Expected...

Welcome back, everyone!!! For better or for worse, the national blight is finally over, and like him or not, Donald Trump will become the next President of the United States of America. Those are words I truly never expected to say. It's kinda like saying the Jacksonville Jaguars are Super Bowl Champions, but at least that junk is behind us for at least 2 years, when the next cycle will drive us into the ground.

So, how was your week? My Chiefs pulled off a win against those Jaguars-barely. Yeah, Alex Smith and Spencer Ware didn't play, and Jeremy Maclin barely played (fantasy peeps, he is out this week), and still no Justin Houston, but seriously, this game should not have been as close as it was.  Mad props to Charcandrick West and Cairo Santos who helped my Lucille Swings team eek out a victory this week. FYI, Travis Kelce, get it together, man!!! You are a pretty good tight end, but son, you are not Tony Gonzalez, you are not going to get those calls, and you need to chill. That $24,000 fine you received this week should be a wake up call. We need you on the field not in the locker room, especially when I play you over Jimmy Graham who would have pounded my opponent into submission, rather than having a 90.70-90.64 skin of my teeth victory.  BY THE BY, JIMMY, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL YEAR?

Speaking of Tony Gonzalez, Friday was the fourth anniversary of Tony Gonzalez scoring his 100th touchdown, the first tight end to do so (for those new to the blog, I was actually there to see him score that touchdown against the Saints in the Super Dome). He later scored 101 in the same game. He currently holds the record for Touchdowns for tight ends with 111, but that record will probably belong to Antonio Gates by the end of the year and Rob Gronkowski in the next few years if he can stay healthy.  Also on Friday, the NFL Network revealed a revamped Top 10-Tight Ends list, and the #1 Tight End of all time?  Tony Gonzalez...nothing else needs to be said. Congrats to the G.O.A.T!!!

Last week, Green Bay and Denver ruined what could have been a perfect week. Even so, I'll take an 11-2 week which brings my record to 81-52. My fantasy teams are also sitting pretty:  Lucille Swings is in first place with a 7-2 record, and Lochte and Loaded is in second place with a 6-2 record. Fantasy fans: Buffalo, Oakland, Indianapolis, and Detroit all have byes this week.

Sunday, November 13, 2016
Denver Broncos vs. New Orleans Saints:  Denver (although I hope they lose.)
Atlanta Falcons vs. Philadelphia Eagles:  Atlanta 
Kansas City Chiefs vs. Carolina Panthers:  Kansas City
Miami Dolphins vs. San Diego Chargers: San Diego
San Francisco 49ers vs. Arizona Cardinals: Arizona
Green Bay Packers vs. Tennessee Titans:  Green Bay
Los Angeles Rams vs. New York Jets:  New York
Chicago Bears vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers:  Tampa Bay
Minnesota Vikings vs. Washington Redskins: Washington
Houston Texans vs. Jacksonville Jaguars:  Houston
Dallas Cowboys vs. Pittsburgh Steelers:  Dallas
Seattle Seahawks vs. New England Patriots:  New England

Monday, November 14, 2016
Cincinnati Bengals vs. New York Giants:  New York

Thursday, November 17, 2016
New Orleans Saints vs. Carolina Panthers:  Carolina

To The Walking Dead fans, I'll be back tonight with another live blog of the latest episode. Until next time, “Many are the strange chances of the world,' said Mithrandir, 'and help oft shall come from the hands of the weak when the Wise falter.” 
― J.R.R. Tolkien

Fantasy Tight Ends Report

Hey, everybody! Sorry, it's been so long, but alas, my real job takes precedence over my blog. Well, I'm back, and I'm going to drop the last of my fantasy reports. I know, that I have already done a fantasy "tight end" report. I hope you all enjoyed it. I know I did :), but this is my real fantasy Tight End report. It's no secret the tight end position is probably my favorite. They are big, they block (some of them) and they catch. Once again, I don't rank them. I'll leave that to the experts and you kind reader, but these are the guys I want as my fantasy tight end, and they aren't half bad players either ;)

Antonio Gates of the San Diego Chargers. This former Kent State basketball player has been at the summit of the Tight End mountain for the past six years. He is definitely Philip Rivers go to guy, and with Vincent Jackson threatening to hold out for most of the season (in addition to his 3 game suspension), you know Philip will be looking for his big tight end (6' 4"/260 lbs). Last season, Gates pulled in 79 receptions for 1157 yards and 8 touchdowns. 2009 Fantasy Stat: 105.85 points.

Dallas Clark of the Indianapolis Colts. Tight Ends are a quarterbacks best friend, and Peyton Manning loves Dallas Clark. Clark finally made a Pro Bowl, after playing second and third fiddle to Antonio Gates and Tony Gonzalez. Clark had 100 receptions 1106 yards and 10 touchdowns. 2009 Fantasy Stat: 116.40 points.

Vernon Davis of the San Francisco 49ers. I haven't been this excited by 49ers tight end since Brent Jones. Finally, Vernon Davis showed everyone what we had expected to see when he first came into the league. Once Vernon realized he was better off on Mike Singletary highway, he exploded. He corralled 78 receptions for 965 yards and 13 touchdowns. Hopefully, who ever is finally under center in San Francisco will find Davis early and often. 2009 Fantasy Stat: 126.25 points.

Jason Witten of the Dallas Cowboys. Generally speaking, I rarely have anything good to say about anybody wearing the "star." However, Dallas' tight end and Tony Romo's best friend is an exception to the rule. Witten has been a top five Tight End for the last three years. In 2009, Witten hauled in 1030 yards, but only two tight ends. 2009 Fantasy Stat: 63.50 points.

Tony Gonzalez of the Atlanta Falcons. My favorite tight end. The Greatest Tight End of All Time in my opinion. TG's first catch of the season will be number 1000 of his career. People keep waiting for Tony to fall off, but he continues to surpass every one's expectations. He left my Chiefs last year to join the Falcons in an attempt to chase that seemingly elusive Super Bowl ring. He finished the 2009 season with 83 receptions 867 yards and 6 touchdowns. Not bad for an "old timer." 2009 Fantasy Stat: 79.35 points.

Other Top Ten Tight Ends: Brent Celek (Philadelphia Eagles), Kellen Winslow (Tampa Bay Buccaneers), Visanthe Shiancoe (Minnesota Vikings), Heath Miller (Pittsburgh Steelers), Greg Olsen (Chicago Bears). Watch for Jermichael Finley (Green Bay Packers), Owen Daniels (Houston Texans), and Dustin Keller (New York Jets).

Rookie on the Rise: Jermaine Gresham of the Cincinnati Bengals. Gresham was the 21st overall pick and the first tight end off the board. The 6'5", 261 pounder from Oklahoma was hampered a bit by a knee injury, but he finished his senior season with 66 receptions for 950 yards and 14 touchdowns. His college totals were 111 receptions, 1629 yards and 26 touchdowns.

Until next time, "Football is a game played with arms, legs and shoulders but mostly from the neck up."-Knute Rockne

*Gratuitous Tony Gonzalez shot

Best "Fantasy" Tight Ends...

Last month, several of the gentlemen that I follow on Twitter celebrated Sundress Month. We, the ladies, while we enjoy the comfort of a Sundress, it didn't really benefit us a whole lot. Also, many blogs devote themselves to the sexy "Wags" of the several different sports...That's good for them, but what about us? Are we chopped liver? So, training camp is still a few weeks away, and most people are occupied by the *snore* NBA free agency. So this is my gift to you girls. My top fantasy "Tight Ends." Pun definitely intended... I'm not going to rank them...I'll leave that to you... I just thought I'd share some eye candy :)

This is Devin Thomas...Devin Thomas is a Wide Receiver for the Washington Redskins. He is 6' 2" and weighs 215 pounds...He only had 25 receptions for 325 yards and 3 touchdowns last year so while he probably shouldn't be the 1 WR on your fantasy football team, he can always start for the home team :) Ladies, Mr. Devin Thomas.

Introducing Nick Barnett. Nick is an inside Linebacker for the Green Bay Packers. He is 6' 2" and weighs 236 pounds. He had 105 tackles and 4 sacks last year as part of the much improved Green Bay Defense... Nick Barnett...

Mr. Larry Fitzgerald. Larry is a Wide Receiver for the Arizona Cardinals. He is widely considered one of the best receivers in the game. He is 6' 3" and weighs 217 pounds. Last year, he had 97 receptions for 1092 and 13 touchdowns. Perfect fantasy player on the field, and not a bad looking guy off the field...Larry Fitzgerald...

Dustin Keller...Dustin Keller is a Tight End for the New York Jets. He is one of the up and coming young tight ends attempting to take the reins from Tony Gonzalez and Antonio Gates. Dustin is 6' 2" and weighs 248 pounds. Last season, he had 45 receptions for 522 yards and 2 touchdowns. He is one of Mark Sanchez's best weapons. Expect a lot this fantasy season from Mr. Dustin Keller...

Mr. Mark Sanchez...Mark is one of those up and coming NFL cuties. I'll overlook that he is from USC. Mark is the Quarterback for the New York Jets. He is 6' 2" and weights 225 pounds. He performed surprisingly well for a rookie taking over for that NFL Jalopy Brett Favre. Leading the Jets to the post season, he tossed 12 touchdowns (22 interceptions) and a total of 2,444 yards. He is a nice option to have a quarter back if you can't pick up your favorite QB for your fantasy team...

Mr. Pierre Thomas...Pierre Thomas is a running back for the Super Bowl champion New Orleans Saints. He is 5' 11" and weighs 215 pounds. A significantly stouter RB than teammate Reggie Bush, Pierre had 147 carries last year 743 yards and 6 touchdowns. Look for more from Pierre this year as the Saints look to defend their title. He may not be a fantasy football #1, but he is a reliable #2. Mr. Pierre Thomas...

Mr. Antonio Gates...Antonio Gates is a tight end for the San Deigo Chargers. He is widely considered one of the best tight ends in the league, although he is recovering from a rather significant foot injury. He is 6' 4" and weighs 260 pounds. Even with a bad foot, Gates had 79 receptions for 1, 157 yards and 8 touchdowns. Let's say that Mr. Gates is still a number one tight end, and he ain't a half bad player. Mr. Antonio Gates...

Since this is my blog, I saved my personal favorites for last...

Mr. Darren Sharper... D-Sharp is a safety for the Super Bowl Champion New Orleans Saints with a penchant for trash talking while flashing those wonderful dimples. He is 6' 2" and weighs 210 pounds. He had 71 tackles, 0.5 sacks, and lead the league with 9 interceptions. He and the Saints defense are a solid choice for a fantasy defense. Mr. Darren Sharper...

Mr. Shawne Merriman...He's my bad boy. I know, I know about all the outside stuff, but on the field is he often a force to be reckoned with. He finally returned last season, after missing all but one game of the 2008 season with a massive knee injury. Shawne is an outside linebacker for the San Diego Chargers. He is recovering from variety of ailments from last season. He had 36 tackles and 4 sacks last year. Not exactly a monster season (that means my Chiefs quarterback was upright for most of the season), but I expect great things this year out of the 6' 4", 265 pound Merriman. He'll be a free agent next year. Mr. Shawne Merriman...

Saving the best for last ;), Mr. Tony Gonzalez. As far as I'm concerned, Tony is the greatest tight end to ever grace the field. Last year, he started for the first time in a red jersey that wasn't Kansas City's. He is starting his second year as the TE for the Atlanta Falcons. I'm going to chalk up last season's fall off to playing with a new team, new quarterback, and Roddy White. Even in a down season, the 6' 5", 243 pound, Gonzalez had 83 receptions for 867 yards and 6 touchdowns. He'll be my starting tight end until he retires... Mr. Tony Gonzalez...

Okay, ladies I know these aren't all the cuties in the NFL, but hey, 10 ain't bad. These are just my faves. Who would you add to the list? Where are my Chiefs? Kansas City, I'm going to have to ask you guys work on that. 65 days until the 2010 NFL season kicks off in New Orleans! Until then, I hope you ladies enjoyed...See ya next time!

To the Ladies...

Today, I am going to talk about ladies and fantasy football. Let's be real for a moment shall we. There are those girls who watch football because of the hot guys. That's cool. There are those girls who watch football only because their husband or boyfriend watches. Whatever. Then, there are those women who watch football because they love the game, admire the athleticism, and genuinely enjoy watching someone bring the pain every Sunday. That would be me.

Don't get me wrong I recognize the handsome fellows who play the game. I'm not blind, but let's face it, just because a dude is cute does not mean he is going to deliver the knock out blow to the fools in my league. (Sorry, I am preparing my trash talk.)

So, ladies, while I don't usually offer advice, I'm going to give some anyway:

1. Ladies, don't join a league because your boyfriend is in it. It's all fun in games until you beat him, and yes, he will be mad if you beat him. He will pretend he isn't, but he is.
2. Don't plan other pointless activities if your boyfriend is in a league or during football season for that matter. Let it go. Nothing is worse than a needy woman who interrupts the damn game to talk about her feelings, or plans dinner with the parents on his draft day. Talk about your feelings on Tuesday afternoon (Tuesday morning is for checking final scores), Wednesday, Friday, and some Thursdays. Saturday, Sunday, and Monday is Football. Deal with it. Same goes to those sensitive men who don't like football. I won't bother you during Masterpiece Theatre, so don't bother me during Monday Night Football.
3. Ladies, if your are going to play fantasy football. Play for real. Don't put your team in pink uniforms, no one, and I mean, no one will take you seriously. I played another lady last year, and my single goal was to systematically dismantle her team because she chose pink team colors. You disgust me, lady. You don't have to put a skull or flame on the side of your team helmet, but you better not put a pink letter. By the way, spanked her every time we played.
4. Ladies, do not pick players for the following reasons: Oooo, what a cute uniform! Oooo, he's cute! They will not get you points, and other members of the league will be forced to laugh at you. You may get lucky once, but that will be about it.

Now, just for fun, I will give you ten good looking guys who will get you points in the world of fantasy. They are in no particular order and by position. By the way, do take the time to learn what each position does and how it contributes to the team.

Quarterbacks

Tom Brady-New England Patriots: Okay, he's not my speed, but I am told that he is a good looking guy. Whatever. He was injured during the first game of the season when he injured his knee. He also developed a staph infection in the same knee. That said, in 2007, Brady was a fantasy big shot. He threw for 4806 yards and 50 touchdowns with only 8 interceptions. Don't expect the 50 touchdowns, but all of his other numbers should be about the same unless the mind plays tricks on him. Plus, he is throwing to Randy Moss and Wes Welker.

Drew Brees-New Orleans Saints-Not only is Brees cute, he delivers on the field as well. In 2008, Brees threw for 5,069 yards and 34 touchdowns, but he also threw 17 interceptions (which will cost you points). Even so he finished the fantasy football season as the number one quarterback in most leagues and is projected to finish near the top this year.

Running Backs

LaDanian Tomlinson-San Diego Chargers: I am biased when it comes to LT. You can't help, but love that smile. He was hurt last year, but he swears he's better this year. Even so, LT had 1110 rushing yards last year with 11 rushing TDs. He also had 426 recieving yards with 1 touchdown. Not bad for an off year. LT is still a top 10 running back (#1 if by looks alone).

Adrian Peterson-Minnesota Vikings: Another cutie, but he is a fantasy demon (he alone beat one of my teams last year). He finished one or two in most leagues last year. He finished the year with 1760 rushing yards and ten rushing touchdowns. He also had 125 receiving yards. He is projected to finish #1 this year. He should get plenty of touches considering his quarterback situation in Minnesota

Wide Receivers

Larry Fitzgerald-Arizona Cardinals: Normally, not for the long hair, but the dreads work for Mr. Fitzgerald. He is a part of one of, if not the best, wide receiver tandems in the league with Anquan Boldin. Fitzgerald finished the season last year with 1431 yards and 12 touchdowns and an appearance in the Super Bowl. Not bad, not bad at all. He finished #1 in practically every league last year and is projected to be top five this year.

Vincent Jackson-San Diego Chargers: Very cute and quite productive. Don't get me wrong, he is by no means a top ten receiver. Face it, the top receiver for the Chargers is usually TE Antonio Gates. Jackson benefitted from Gates' injury last year. Jackson is a top twenty receiver and will probably not be swept up until probably the 4th round. But, if we are going just on looks, you can't go wrong with Vincent Jackson. He finished the season with 1098 yards and seven touchdowns. He even tacked on 69 rushing yards. But beware, he may have to serve a suspension at some point in the season because of an offseason DUI (That bothered me, and I am wavering on VJ, but this is about looks anyway).

Tight Ends

Tony Gonzalez-Atlanta Falcons: First and foremost, it sucks having to say that Tony Gonzalez is an Atlanta Falcon. Now, I will admit I thought Tony was cute when he played for Cal so it was awesome that he was drafted by my favorite team. Not only is Tony the best looking Tight End in the league, he is the best to ever play the position (please don't send letters about Kellen Winslow, Sr., John Mackey, and Mike Ditka. I know how great they were, and I still would take Tony.). He holds practically every record available to tight ends including, touchdowns and receptions. He was the #1 fantasy tight end last season finishing with 1058 yards and 10 touchdowns. He was thrown to by three different quarterbacks last year. This year, he will be the target of Matty Ice, Matt Ryan, and he is projected to finish any where from 1st to 5th this season.

Antonio Gates-San Diego Chargers: The second best tight end, ha-ha. He is the best in the AFC, now that Gonzalez is in the NFC (which sucks for K2, Shockey, Whitten and Cooley). Actually, Gonzalez and Gates were 1 and 2 for a while, but Antonio has been dealing with injuries the last couple of years. That said, Antonio Gates finished as the 3rd or 4th fantasy tight end in most leagues last year with 704 yards and 8 touchdowns. He is projected to finish anywhere from 1st to 5th this year.

Defense

Most leagues pick an entire defense from a team or two. Some leagues pick individual defensive players. Make sure you know which rules your league is following. That said, two hottest and productive defensive players...

Shawne Merriman-Outside Linebacker San Diego Chargers: I know that I am picking a lot of Chargers, but they are the AFC West champs. Merriman only played one game last season before having surgery to repair a torn PCL and LCL (Merry Christmas, Tennessee). Prior to the injury, Merriman led the league with 39.5 sacks over the first three years of his career. After a year on the sideline, I think Merriman is due to return to his All Pro and Pro Bowl form and vault the Chargers back among the elite defenses. He will be terrorizing quarterbacks well into the playoffs and look good doing it!

Jason Taylor-Defensive End Miami Dolphins: Last year was an off season for this former Dancing with the Stars hottie. He had a calf injury, and he only registered 29 total tackles and 3.5 sacks a dip from the 11 sacks of the year before. I also don't think that Taylor was ever really happy in Washington. He seems happier this year and is back in Miami with Joey Porter. If he stays healthy, expect Taylor to have a good year.

I don't look at kickers. I just pick the highest one left. They shift from year to year anyway. So, girls if you have to pick a hottie for your team here are some good looking guys who also tear up the field. Next week, I will spend time truly evaluating the fantasy positions based on actual skills rather than looks.