Picks from a Maniac Maenad-Week 6

It's week six, y'all, and what a week it's been. Controversy abounds. Parity is running rampant. My Chiefs are no longer unbeaten. Five weeks into the seasons, and most of us are looking at are pre-season predictions and wondering how did we get it so wrong. The Cowboys and Chargers are floundering in the basements of their divisions. I mean, even as a Chiefs fan, I never imagined they would be on top of the AFC West this late in the season (no, I don't have delusions that they will win the West, but my team is looking far better than they did last year. No comment, on Cassel).

Coaches Wade Phillips and Mike Singletary both received votes of confidence from their perspective owners. (I don't really see either of them standing at the end of the year unless they have an honest to God, walk on water miracle). Then, Wade Phillips felt the need to "diss" Tony Dungy who felt that Tony Romo may not be a good enought leader. "Oh no, you did-ent." (Wow, that was a horrible allusion). Uhm, Wade, Tony actually made an NFL team, while you did not. Tony has a Super Bowl ring, and the only ring you've seen is the one Jerry Jones flashes from the last decade and the one in your bathtub.

Shawne Merriman was put on IR with a minor injury designation which pretty much ends his career with the Chargers (Dear Kansas City, New Orleans, Atlanta: I'm going to need one of you to grab him for my sake, 'kay). Tom Brady was dissed by Justin Bieber for having hair like-wait for it-Justin Bieber. This from a kid, who is not a female, who just released a line of nail polish. Tom, let me introduce you to the scissors. Brett Favre is still in trouble with the league for his alleged improprities with Jenn Sterger, has elbow tendonitis, and was hit in the crotch with football this week. Karma. I also like how nobody stops to check on him. Where's the love guys?

Aaron Rodgers has a concussion, Clay Matthews is hurt, Ryan Grant is out for the year, and Nick Barnett had surgery and is out for the year. Why am I hearing the M.A.S.H. theme song, when I think about the Packers? Ben Roethlisberger, Santonio Holmes, and Brian Cushing are back, to which I shrug. Breaking News: Anthony Gonzalez and Bob Sanders are at press time still injured.

I am coming to the realization that maybe I should be spending my Sundays doing something more beneficial than playing fantasy football, because my teams stink like a day old basket of gym socks after a game. Despite big names that appear on my fantasy roster, my teams are still well, turrible.

• Hecates's HellHounds of the League of Champions league: 4-1 (The Diamond standard)
  
• Kansas City Chiefs of the Dynasty Orginization League: 2-3 (An embarrasment to the real Chiefs)
  
• Runtelldat Homeboys of the Big Easy League: 2-3 (15 minutes of fame are just about up)
  
• The Cromartie Eight of the Football Fist Pump League: 1-4 (About to be put up for adoption)
  
• Matching Mugshots of the Atypical Sports Show League: 0-5 (Should be jailed until next year like their namesake. I should have never changed my team name.)

Last week, I went an anemic 5-9, which makes my record to date: 34-27. I'm still above .500.
Taking a deep breath and diving in...

Atlanta vs. Philadelphia: Atlanta

Kansas City vs. Houston: *holding my breath* Kansas City (I'm just being a good fan, I don't believe that either)

New Orleans vs. Tampa Bay: Tampa Bay has been a hard out these last few weeks, and they always bring their A game against the Saints. I'm still taking New Orleans.

Miami vs. Green Bay: Green Bay has a lot of injuries and burned me last week, but I'm sticking with my pick. Green Bay

San Diego vs. St. Louis: San Diego lost to the Raiders last week. The Raiders!!! St. Louis.

Baltimore vs. New England: Baltimore

Detroit vs. New York Giants: New York Giants. Eli, you better not.

Cleveland vs. Pittsburgh: Pittsburgh

Seattle vs. Chicago: Chicago

New York Jets vs. Denver: New York Jets

Oakland vs. San Francisco: San Francisco better win this game.

Dallas vs. Minnesota: It is a must win for both teams. *flipping a coin* *2 outta 3* Dallas

Indianapolis vs. Washington: Indy

Monday Night Football: Tennessee vs. Jacksonville. Tennessee

That's all folks. Until next week, "One cannot too soon forget his errors and misdemeanors; for to dwell upon them is to add to the offense." ~Henry David Thoreau