Picks from a Maniac Maenad-Week 3

It's week three everybody, and parity is running rampant in the NFL. Once again, up is down and down is up. Who would have thought that going into week 3 the Chiefs, Dolphins, Texans, and Buccaneers would be sitting atop their divisions with 2-0 records? Who could have foreseen that Dallas, Minnesota, and San Francisco floundering in the basement with the same 0-2 record as the Lions, Bills, and Browns? It's craziness!!! Sheer Craziness!!!

The Jets upset the New England Patriots on Sunday (yeah, I said it. How many people besides Jets fans thought they were going to win last Sunday?), and then Braylon Edwards proceeded to get a DWI. Sigh...I'll talk about that later, but seriously, the Jets need to reign in their players. With Miami currently at the top and New England always in the hunt, there is too much foolishness going on in that locker room. From top to bottom, get it together Jets, you have too much talent to become the Raiders.

Michael Vick showed that he still has a lot of Michael Vick left in him. Then, lost the starting job to Kevin Kolb, then gained the job back within the span of two days. I can see that Andy Reid has been reading the Brett Favre book How to Waffle and Try not to Appear like a Moron. Speaking of "Paw-Paw" Favre, what is going on in Minnesota? Favre looked like a grandfather last week on the sidelines of that game (he seriously looked like he was wishing for a Barcalounger and a remote control).

Tennessee pulled Vince Young, again for Kerry Collins after the Pittsburgh and Troy Polomalu ran rough shot over the Titans. Young will be behind center today, but he looked bad last Sunday. I'm not talking about my Chiefs. Washington fell apart as the Texans took over the AFC South. Tampa Bay and Josh Freeman are showing much improvement and are tied with the Saints in the South. San Diego took apart the Jacksonville Jaguars on a week I had them on the bench. Saints are still playing like the champs.

I am having a hard time in fantasy. My record thus far is a pathetic 2-10...My five teams have been stinking to high heaven...I have great players who are not doing great things. Hecate's Hellhounds rolled last week on the legs of Adrian Peterson and the arm of Philip Rivers. The Runtelldat Homeboys barely cleared the hurdle with Miles Austin leading the team. The Cromartie Eight, Kansas City Chiefs (unlike the real Chiefs), and Matching Mugshots are still swimming in a flooded basement.

I was 8-8 last week, mostly because I was a buster rolling behind Dallas, Minnesota and New England. My record pick record is still slightly above .500 at 18-13. Let's see how I will fair this week.

Cincinnati v. Carolina-Cincinnati
Buffalo v. New England-New England
San Francisco v. Kansas City-My ex-husband vs. my current. My upset of the day *closing my eyes* Kansas City Chiefs
Tennessee v. New York Giants-New York Giants
Cleveland v. Baltimore-Baltimore
Pittsburgh v. Tampa Bay-Pittsburgh
Atlanta v. New Orleans-I have 4 fantasy players in this game: Tony Gonzalez, Drew Brees, Pierre Thomas and Jason Snelling. New Orleans
Detroit v. Minnesota-Minnesota, although Detroit looked really good last week.
Dallas v. Houston-Houston. I can't even look at Dallas.
Philadelphia v. Jacksonville-Even with the foolishness in Philly, I'm taking the Eagles
Washington v. St. Louis. Washington
Indianapolis v. Denver-Indianapolis
Oakland v. Arizona-Arizona
San Diego v. Seattle-San Diego
New York Jets v. Miami-New York Jets

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL: Green Bay v. Chicago. Chicago is much improved with that new Mike Martz's offense. I still don't trust Cutler. I'm going with Aaron Rodgers and the Packers.

Well, that's all I've got folks. Until next week "It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up." Vince Lombardi