Warning: there will be spoilers!!!!
Hey, y'all! Well, we will finally figure out what the new season of American Horror Story will be about. Can't be good when it begins based on a true story.
My Roanoke Nightmare!!!!!
Well, I hope it's better than Freakshow and Hotel. Shelby (Lily Rabe) and Matt () who is a new actor to the series. A gang initiation cause Matt to be unconscious...Wait a minute...They just switched from to Sarah Paulson as Shelby, and Matt is some other dude. What is going on? Man, she just had a miscarriage...
Wait, that's Cuba Gooding, Jr. as Matt in the story? Nothing about this house looks even remotely like something I would ever want to live in. I'm a little confused. Are Lily and the new guy reenacting or are Cuba and Sarah reenacting? I'm confused. They left the West Coast to move to the East Coast because they were scared of life on the left coast only to move into a house that screams don't you dare move into me because you will die. They then precede to piss off some sketchy looking bubbas...nice...This will not end well...
Well, somebody just won a beautiful new Mercedes. It wasn't me so it's not important.
This is weird, because I'm seeing OJ making out to Marcia Clarke right now...Thanks Cuba and Sarah. Something is attacking their new "farm." Man, the bubbas have some bad teeth. So, something attacked their house the night before, now it's hailing...Nope, it is raining teeth. Like for real teeth, Now, he thinks she is coo-coo for cocoa puffs. Jump scare with the shutters. Wait there are people. Who is this woman? Nice library...I would not sit in this hot tub in the day, much less in the night...alone. She wants to die. Of course some one pushes her under. Looks like the Bubbas...
Shelby already makes poor decisions. Well, the cop is a useless jerk. She is seeing teeth and torches. Nice name for a band, not so much for your sanity, mind you. Dead pig on the porch. So much good meat gone to waste. New actress as Lee, played by Angela Bassett in the Paulson storyline. Lee is a cop on pills. Got shot looking a baby in a crack house. Lost her job and her husband. Lee is a mess, y'all. That's a cold blooded ghost. rolling that bottle in there. Men, with torches again, and cleavers...of course, her phone is vibrate. Girl, you are going to lose that finger pointing it at Lee. Shut up, Shelby! Somebody breaks in to show you tv on a bad tv. Is Cuba watching the OJ chase on TV? Somebody just Blair Witched the house! I'm not staying...Why are they not leaving?
Shelby has had enough. She's out of here, and she hits Kathy Bates who gets up and walks away as if nothing happened. While searching for Kathy Bates, she gets lost, finds more Blair Witch dolls, runs, and falls. She has hit the scary movie trifecta. Accidentally "kills" someone, gets lost in the woods, trips and fall, now seeing freaky stuff. Now, she is surrounded by torch carriers and a dude missing his scalp...see y'all next week...
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