"What in the Wide, Wide World of Sports is a Going on Here?"-Picks from a Maniac Maenad Week 9

It's week 9 in the NFL, and if we thought things were wacky last week, this week, this week right here, was pure insanity. Brett Favre lost a few gray hairs in his chinny-chin-chin and replaced them with 8 stitches after a hit by Patriots defensive tackle Myron Pryor, who was fined $7,500 dollars for that love tap. Favre took a bigger hit when it was learned that the Vikings were gonna cut ties with Randy Moss after just 4 weeks. First, Moss allegedly went all types of crazy bashing a local mom and pop restaurant for having the audacity to give him a free lunch. Second, he allegedly tells ownership that they should fire coach Brad Childress (I agree, but yeah, I wouldn't have gone there as a player.) Third, he allegedly gave up on the play that later cost Brett Favre part of his chin. Then, he went all "I love the New England Patriots" after telling reporters that he would only answer his own questions from now own. He was subsequently released. Hey Randy, if I were you, I would eat at any restaurants anytime soon. Food servers don't forget. I'm always nice to people that handle my food. You guys rock! Randy was later picked up by the Tennessee Titans. Good luck with that Jeff Fisher.

Randy Moss wasn't the only star to find himself on waivers this week. He was joined by former San Diego Chargers Linebacker Shawne Merriman who had to be released by the San Diego Chargers when he was deemed healthy enough to come off of the minor injury designated IR. He waves goodbye to sunny San Diego for the crispy, cold winds of Buffalo who claimed him off waivers ahead of Miami and Tampa Bay. Shawne, the Bills may be 0-7, but they have some hella good wings in Buffalo! Good luck!!!

Then, there was the scandal that was the benching of Donovan McNabb. I love, Donovan, and I know that his may or may not be a future Hall of Famer, but to be pulled for Rex "I throw to the other team" Grossman, that is...just...crazy as hell. What in blue blazes, come on Shanahan, is that tan leaking into your brain? You say it was because Donovan was "out of shape," but you toss salt in the wound by working out JaMarcus "I've never met a meal I didn't love" Russell. Have you SEEN JaMarcus Russell?

Two of the biggest games of the week feature teams that no one, and I mean, NO ONE would have seen at the top of their divisions. The resurgent Tampa Bay Buccaneers (5-2) are traveling to Atlanta take on division rivals the Falcons (5-2). Many, including me, picked the Falcons to be at the top, but to be tied with Tampa Bay? I don't think many saw that one coming. Then, the Kansas City Chiefs (5-2) are traveling to the Black Hole to take on the Oakland Raiders (4-4). Even I didn't see my Chiefs on top of the AFC West, nor did I see Oakland right behind them. Exactly what is going on in San Diego and Denver (what's going wrong lil hoodie?)?

This just in: Anthony Gonzalez of the Indianapolis Colts has been put on IR. In other news, water is wet, and the sky is blue.

Last week, I went 4-1 with my fantasy teams. I was so happy...I almost cried...almost...

• Hecates's HellHounds of the League of Champions league: 6-2 (Two wins in a row)
  
• Kansas City Chiefs of the Dynasty Orginization League: 3-5 (finally picked up another win)
  
• Runtelldat Homeboys of the Big Easy League: 2-6 (The fat lady is warming up.)
  
• The Cromartie Eight of the Football Fist Pump League: 3-5 (They fall down go boom.)
  
• Matching Mugshots of the Atypical Sports Show League: 2-6 (Shockingly, they won.)

I went 8-5 last week which brings my record to 57-44. So, here are my week eight picks:

Chicago Bears @ Buffalo Bills: Chicago

San Diego Chargers @ Houston Texans: San Diego

New Orleans Saints @ Carolina Panthers: New Orleans

Arizona Cardinals @ Minnesota Vikings: Arizona

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Atlanta Falcons: Atlanta

New York Jets @ Detroit Lions: New York Jets

Miami Dolphins @ Baltimore Ravens: Baltimore

New England Patriots @ Cleveland Browns: New England

New York Giants @ Seattle Seahawks: New York Giants

Kansas City Chiefs @ Oakland Raiders: Kansas City

Indianapolis Colts @ Philadelphia Eagles: Indianapolis

Dallas Cowboys @ Green Bay Packers: Green Bay

Monday Night Football: Pittsburgh Steelers @ Cincinnati Bengals: Pittsburgh

Until next week, "What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?"~Ursula K. Le Guin